back to article Post-pub nosh neckfillers: Reader suggestions invited

We at the post-pub nosh neckfiller team are drawing up a menu for the next batch of wobbly dining delicacies, and invite readers to suggest their faves for inclusion on the list. As our alcohol-fuelled haute cuisine regulars know, since last November we've travelled the world in search of those recipes best suited to …

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  1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    Cheesey Chips

    Brilliant, simple, classic

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cheesey Chips

      A popular NW variation is recommend is Chips, Cheese & Gravy.

      To save a few £:

      Buy only chips on way home.

      Make instant gravy (Onion favourite, beef or veggie for a lighter bite), pour over chips.

      Microwave briefly if heat boost required.

      Sprinkle with favourite shredded cheese & keep some aside for topping up.

      Standard variation is to mix favourite chilli sauce in gravy before pouring over.

      Red pepper sauce with onion/beef or Jalapeno with veggie gravy work well.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Trollface

        Re: Cheesey Chips

        *shudders*

        No wonder it's grim oop north. What with the wolves and bears roaming through the primeval forests and the (far worse) horror of soggy chips!

        Chips should be adulterated only with salt, vinegar, ketchup and/or curry ketchup. Although I remember enjoying salad cream with them in my youth. Mayonnaise is wrong.

        1. ukgnome

          Re: Cheesey Chips

          with gravy!

          Filthy filthy sorts.

          The traditional recipe from the Land of the Prince Bishops demands that it is the magical garlic sauce that is used, and it must be bought from the dirty shop.

          *Sadly Penis's is no longer opposite Rixy's

      2. Montreal Sean

        Re: Cheesey Chips

        Chips, gravy, and cheese...so a poutine then? :)

        Of course poutine requires cheese curds...

  2. dogged

    Chicken pakoras.

    1. dogged

      Oh come on, who doesn't like Pakoras? I've missed them as a post-pub treat ever since I stopped working in Glasgow.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This may be slightly boring, but what about Greek Gyros?

    1. beaker_72

      Greek Gyros?

      What's the difference between those and a doner kebab? I think we might already know about them...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Greek Gyros?

        They are different, I'm sure of it. No idea of the difference though ( hoping El Reg would do the legwork for me :) )

        1. Ben Bonsall

          Re: Greek Gyros?

          Gyros is strips of marinated meat cooked on a giant vertical spit and shaved like a doner... Doner is minced and mixed with spices and sawdust and formed into an elephant's leg.

  4. dan1980

    Cheese and tomato sandwich

    Add ham or left-over chicken if you want.

    I think these competitions are fundamentally unfair because I have read the recipes and I have also been in the situation described as requiring such filling and I an tell you that, despite being a competent (home) cook, I simply can't see myself managing much of what is proposed in these articles.

    So, I think the fairest assessment must follow from meals cooked "post-pub". Mixing and kneading and prooving and grating and straining and shaping and frying and, well, it all seems rather a lot for the time of night (morning) one might be whipping these up and certainly for the state one would be in.

    Practicality must be recognised and some of these recipes seem rather . . . ambitious.

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

      Cheese toasties.

      1. dan1980
        Thumb Up

        Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

        YES!

        Sorry - I missed the important bit!!! After a skin-full it must be hot!!!

        A TOASTED cheese and tomato sandwich is the simplest thing that is hot, filling, delicious, not re-heated (microwaved) left-overs and that one can prepare at any time and in almost any state with minimal risk to life, limb and property.

        Many a night has seen me man the cutting board and the oven grill turning out toasted cheese sandwiches.

        My personal recipe has pesto on one slice, Dijon mustard on the other and filled with cheese, tomato and sliced pickled onions. Also I usually slice the cheese thinly and put some on each slice (so two layers of cheese) so the tomato and onion are encased in a melted cheese embrace.

        Worth the small extra effort.

        1. Pedigree-Pete
          Mushroom

          Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

          Beware of tomatoes in toasted Cheese sandwiches, especially when under the influence. I'd vote for Cheese & Ham. Safer.

          1. NumptyScrub

            Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

            Having dealt with cheese and pickle Brevilles (other brands are available) I can second the dangers of allowing a drunken fool to bite straight into a cheese and tomato toastie without checking the temperature carefully. The SHC of some vegetables is apparently orders of magnitude less than cheese or bread...

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

            Cheese can, if you use a Breville, also be hotter than the sun.

            1. Triggerfish

              Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

              I would predict a sudden spate of people with small blisters near the lower lip and chin area.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

                I would predict a sudden spate of people with small blisters near the lower lip and chin area.

                Yeah, I've taken that kind of woman home after a skinful too.

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

      Whilst the cheese toasty is indeed a fine accompaniment to a post pub return home, I can think of better. I use a toasty maker, so the cheese will also be dangerously hot. My trick is to make 2, my machine only does one at a time. By the time the second is on the plate, the first will have cooled sufficiently to be safe. I'd imagine that pickle, like jam, is deadly. So perhaps the pickle should be served on the side? Myself I prefer ketchup.

      But the best toasty is the egg toasty. You need a maker with pronounced edges, that crimp the bread effectively to avoid leakages. This is bad enough with cheese, but far worse with egg.

      Then you put your bottom slice of bread in, gently push down, whip in the egg you've decanted into a cup/bowl for speed, slap the top slice of bread on as fast as you can, and hold the toasty maker shut for 30 seconds to seal it. You then get a kind of poached/baked egg with sort of fried edges from the butter soaking through the bread. So yummy.

      My current favourite is bacon or fish finger sandwiches though.

      1. NumptyScrub

        Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

        But the best toasty is the egg toasty. You need a maker with pronounced edges, that crimp the bread effectively to avoid leakages. This is bad enough with cheese, but far worse with egg.

        Oh. My. $DEITY. That sounds delicious, I am going to have to try this :D

        I'd imagine that pickle, like jam, is deadly.

        Anyone who has ever used a toastie maker (of any brand) will be well aware that there is a ridiculous difference in the specific heat capacities of some ingredients. The main problem is that finding this out only ever seems to occur after the fact :'(

  5. chivo243 Silver badge
    Pint

    Chorizo Quesadilla

    Tortillas Check

    Grated Cheese Check

    Sliced Chorizo Check

    Chopped Onion Check

    Sliced Tomato Check

    Yogurt, sour cream or Crème fraîche Check

    Chopped Korriander\Cilantro Check

    Hot Skillet Check

    Beer Check!

    Appetite Check!

    Do the leg work (chopping and shredding) before the pub, save yourself some time ;-}

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Blitheringeejit
      Pint

      Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

      Amidst all the bacon, potato and deep-fried options on offer here, there seems to be a subtle prejudice that people who might enjoy healthy food, and even (whisper it softly) your actual vegetablarians, are far too worthy to enjoy a punishing night out, so never have to deal with the consequences. I beg to differ (see icon) - my body is a not a temple but a playground (it's my wallet that's a temple). So for those who share my tastes and want to feel better the morning after an extended session on whatever intoxicants float their boat, may I present "magic" miso soup, so-called for it's remarkable curative properties. Amounts of everything to taste, it's more a framework than an application...

      WHAT:

      Dashi stock made with kombu if you can be bothered, otherwise water;

      Mix of fresh veg such as spring onions, carrots, celery (including green tops) - all sliced quite finely, aim for about 3mm thickness at thinnest point, carrots best done as sticks if your knife skills are up to it;

      Mushrooms (shitake if your consultancy dayrate can stand it, otherwise chestnut), in larger chunks;

      Spinach - fresh or frozen, if frozen thaw in microwave before adding (or use lettuce, mizuna, or other greenery of choice);

      Tofu - some like it silken, I prefer the chewier ones;

      Dark miso of your choice - I like barley but rice is fine, guess at about 2tbsp per litre of soup;

      Other dried Japanese seaweed of choice - hijiki, arame etc - if you wish;

      A sheet of nori seaweed, toasted but not burnt under grill or over flame (the only difficult bit in this recipe, watch it like a hawk - the window of toasted but not burnt lasts about 250ms).

      HOW:

      If using dried seaweed, soak in water according to instructions;

      Bring water/stock to a simmer, add veg, shrooms, seaweed etc in vague order of hardness. Max boiling time for any of it shouldn't exceed about 6 minutes - this is foreign food, so no Brit-style mush-boiling (though if you're using shitakes they may need a bit longer);

      Dilute miso in jar/mug with hot (not boiling) water, so it can be easily poured;

      Turn off heat, then add diluted miso progressively, stirring and tasting as you go until it no longer tastes like you need to add salt;

      Ladle into bowl, then crush and sprinkle toasted nori on top;

      Consume, and be magically revived.

      Option - if you need carbs to aid your recovery, cook noodles and place in bottom of bowl before adding soup.

      1. Jos V

        Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

        While you're at it... In Tokyo we'd head for the local Ramen shop and get a huge bowl (yes, there is pork involved, so it's hardly veggy), spiced up to the brink of internal spontanious combustion, but it works.

        Still one of my favourites anywhere I am...

        1. The Quiet One

          Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

          There is a Veggy Ramen place in Tokyo Central Station that is the absolute dog's danglies! If i could stomach 12hr flight each way I would go back just for that.

          1. Triggerfish

            Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

            Easy drunk Asian type soup.

            Mince pork roll into balls.

            Bring water to the boil with the pork balls, add some leeks, add a pork stock cube. Simmer a couple of minutes.

            Chuck in glass thread noddles, and small cubes of soft (silken) tofu.

            Season with fish sauce.

            Add some shitake mushrooms if you are feeling posh.

          2. Blitheringeejit

            Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

            One small life-regret is that I've never made it to the Far East to experience any of this stuff in its native form.

            But as with any Japanese soup/broth with noodly option, I'm sure you can feed your meat frenzy by adding slices of pork, and/or use chicken stock - I haven't tried it, but it shouldn't affect the magic.

            To acquire full wisdom on these matters, Tampopo is compulsory viewing.

            1. OpenSauce

              Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

              http://www.tampopo.co.uk/

              Been a few times, now I know where they got the name from (actually on their about us link - never checked before).

              Used to do a good deal on Ramen soup-noodle dishes if a cinema ticket holder at Trafford Centre in Manchester. Sadly no longer.

      2. dogged
        Thumb Up

        Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

        I love meat.

        However, I also like Miso soup and will give your recipe a try. Thanks.

      3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Au contraire. mon brave, have an upvote...

        The only problem with ramen is that it's hard enough to eat when sober. Once drunk, you may as well put your head in the bowl and save yourself the hassle of getting covered in food only gradually...

        I do like noodles with a bit of sauce as quick fillers though.

    2. MonkeyCee

      Hmmm

      Presumably after you've been necking a few bottles of proscecco? :)

      Sounds more like something from the guardian.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      could we have some recipies using breast milk?

      If you can get a source of that after a few beers on a Friday night why the hell are you thinking about food?

  8. Squander Two

    Bacon and egg pie

    Cook it before you go out. It's delicious cold.

    Cut a load of bacon into strips (streaky, ideally, because the bacon fat provides the only moisture in this). Put a sheet of pastry in a metal pie dish greased with butter. Arrange the strips in the pastry so that there are seven wells, one in the centre and six around it. Add black pepper, and maybe chopped parsley if you like, but obviously not salt. Break whole eggs into the wells. Put another sheet of pastry on top, and seal the edges. If you're clever and want to show off, cut beautiful delicate leaves out of pastry and stick them on top. Glaze the pastry with milk or beaten egg. Bake for about 45 min, until golden. If you buy ready-rolled pastry, this is about as easy as cooking gets.

    Eat with good ketchup or baked beans. The whole egg yolks are what really make it.

    My mum claims this was a standard British dish until it was ousted by the Great French Quiche Invasion. But my mum says a lot of things. Whatever, it's fantastic.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Bacon and egg pie

      Oooooh. That sounds very interesting indeed. Healthy too! I must make that.

  9. Caff

    Taco chips

    Chips ( not taco chips, potato ones fries if you will ) , mince beef with taco sauce covered in mayo and topped with cheese.

    It should look something like this https://www.pinterest.com/pin/404549979000031149/

  10. Ben Bonsall

    Sticky Pasta

    1) Open tin of tuna in oil. Must be in oil.

    2) empty onto large plate

    3) Boil spaghetti in a pan, with the plate with the tuna on as a lid.

    4) once done, remove plate and drain spaghetti

    5) grate copious quantities of cheddar cheese onto now warm tuna

    6) put spaghetti on top of cheese

    7) grate on more cheese

    8) mix thoroughly

    9) microwave plate for 1 min

    10) splash on tobacco

    11) eat with knife and fork. there is no way you can do the windy thing with the spoon if you have made it right, as everything will be one big lump of pasta tuna and cheese.

    12) wash down with more of what you were drinking before

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Smoking recipe

      "splash on tobacco"? I'll stick to tabasco, ta.

      1. Pedigree-Pete

        Re: Smoking recipe

        Pot, kettle, black. No one is innocent of the odd typo. Except of course me, phew this one time

      2. Ben Bonsall

        Re: Smoking recipe

        I blame the smell checker.

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: Re: Smoking recipe

          Very good.

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  12. zaax

    The Reindeer in Norwich had it right the Chinese next door had a hatch in to the pub

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There used to be a pub near me with a proper chip shop next door. You could order from the bar and they'd deliver to your table.

      It's been replaced with a crappy "bistro" now. Which I learned means you get a soup bowl of chips for £3.

      1. Triggerfish

        They have attached a proper curry house to one of our locals, a stroke of genuis.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Another 5 pints

    ...or so....

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Corned beef and onion pie

    Title says it all as a starting point, throw in some potatoes, chilies, whatever and you get a full meal.

    Only one thing to be careful of, make sure you open the tin of corned beef before you go out otherwise you might wake up with a few fingers missing.

  15. wikkity

    Tuna and mushroom

    Tin of tuna mixed in bowl of condensed mushroom soup, stir and mircowave. If not too p*ssed some pasta goes well.

  16. Pedigree-Pete
    Thumb Up

    Stovies

    I'm sure there are many variants of this Scottish(?) favourite. Corned Beef, root veg & of course onions. Prep & mash before pub. Micro on return. No lost fingers.

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