back to article Maserati Ghibli S: Who cares what Joe Walsh thinks?

When Joe Walsh sang “My Maserati does 185, I lost my licence so now I don’t drive”, he was lying. In 1978 no Maserati could do that speed. He could have had been talking km/h, in which case it might have been an earlier-generation Ghibli: that did 155mph, or 174mph if he had the Ghibli SS. The Ghibli S reviewed here won’t do …

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  1. Bruce Ordway

    cars are something

    >>you buy with your head and your heart

    In my case it would be a '65 Volkswagon Beetle

    1. Dapprman

      Re: cars are something

      Alfa Romeo for me back in the 1990s, complete with lots of electrical problems - but that glorious (and reliable) 3 litre v6 Busso engine. Don't regret it.

      Oh and the Citroen C6 now - and the fact I was considering an pre-facelift Maserati Quattroporte auto (not duo select) ....

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Re: cars are something

      I have a list.

      Seven Style Kit.

      Cobra Kit

      Ultima GTR

      Z-cars Mini

  2. CAPS LOCK

    "The chairs"

    Haha - how pretentious, this is El Reg not 'Car' magazine.

    1. Simon Rockman

      Re: "The chairs"

      The word was chosen with care. They are more luxurious than seats, and yes there is a nod to the 246.

      Simon

  3. Tromos
    Joke

    The Fat Duck instead of Nando's

    Altogether a superior food poisoning experience

    1. Dapprman

      Re: The Fat Duck instead of Nando's

      I know you're only joking, but it was proven to be norovirus, not food poisoning.

  4. chivo243 Silver badge
    Pint

    Joe Walsh thinks?

    Not when he wrote this song... He was high as f*&K back then. 155 fits the cadence, but doesn't sound right when he bitches about can't drive 55, oh wait that's Sammy Hagar, never mind....

    In any case, 185 sounds way cooler than 155.

    1. Afernie

      Re: Joe Walsh thinks?

      Well, this was the guy who ran for Congress in the 80s with the slogan "A vote for me is a vote for the all-night party." Presumably one of those parties where you stay until four...

      1. chivo243 Silver badge

        Re: Joe Walsh thinks?

        ....it's hard to leave when you can't find the door

    2. Kristian Walsh Silver badge

      Cadence, Re: Joe Walsh thinks?

      Actually, just try to sing the "one fifty-five" version to the cadence of the original. The transition from "ONE" to "fif-" isn't easy, especially if you're singing loudly: and even sung clearly, it's a bit clunky.

      The hard F and the stressed "i" in "fifty" place emphasis on the word, but to follow the cadence of the other lines in the verse, whatever syllable is at that position must be unstressed. The "ay" in "eighty" is easier to get to from the closing "n" of "one", and can also be sung unstressed.

      But that's probably too much analysis: As you correctly point out, Joe was wasted for most of this period, so writing such a stumbling-block line into his own set wouldn't have been a great idea.

      1. chivo243 Silver badge

        Re: Cadence, Joe Walsh thinks?

        @Kristian Walsh

        You must have had voice training...

        I can't sing,(I ain't pretty and my legs are thin) the missus has banned me from singing in front of the boy, she says I'll ruin his ear for music. She's on to something I'm afraid. My duration with a band is about as long as it takes for the other members to sober up a bit...

      2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: Cadence, Joe Walsh thinks?

        Actually, just try to sing the "one fifty-five" version to the cadence of the original. The transition from "ONE" to "fif-" isn't easy, especially if you're singing loudly: and even sung clearly, it's a bit clunky.

        I might go with "one twenty-five", particularly if you elide the second "t" (so "one twenny-five"). The prosody's considerably better than "fifty-five", at least to my hearing. But the coarticulated consonant "w" in "twenty" is still a bit of a stumble, compared to anything in "eighty". The same can (in my opinion) be said of initial "th" in "thirty" (generally a dental or aveolar fricative, I think) and initial "f" in "forty" or "fifty" (labiodental fricative).

        And "seventy" has the wrong number of syllables, obviously. And "ninety" is worse than "eighty" in terms of making the song closer to accurate. That leaves "one sixty-five" as an alternative; but I find the double-consonant "x" just as bad as "ft" in "fifty".

        So I suppose we should just leave the lyrics as they are.

  5. Dr_N

    Good Relaunch by FCA

    The Ghibli relaunch of Maserati is a shrewd move by FCA.

    So far it seems to be selling well.

    Who wouldn't want to try something a bit less Teutonic given the choice?

    1. Indolent Wretch

      Re: Good Relaunch by FCA

      >> Who wouldn't want to try something a bit less Teutonic

      The Germans?

  6. ZSn

    diesel

    I know that it doesn't *sound* right for a sports car but a diesel engine of sufficient power has so much torque that it's hard to dismiss it. Don't necessarily do them down.

    1. Lars Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: diesel

      I agree very much, there is however a artificial delay when you accelerate on most diesel cars, I suppose it adds something to the economy and I would feel happier without it. Funny how people who have never driven a good 2L turbodiesel have an opinion about it. A bit like kids who think they can beat a good automatic with a stick at the lights.

    2. Dr_N

      Re: diesel

      "but a diesel engine of sufficient power has so much torque that it's hard to dismiss it"

      The writing is on the wall for private DERVs. Even France, who fell for its faux eco credentials hook, line and sinker are starting to introduce bans in cities.

      No amount of pollution control strap-ons will solve the issues with it.

      People can now stop fooling themselves with the torque/mpg/eco BS they come out with to try and justify their choice of engine that was based purely on cost. Not power. Not performance, not "torques".

    3. I am not spartacus

      Re: diesel

      I know that there is a case that I'm missing the point, and I know that it isn't what you immediately think of, but my main question was 'Is the diesel any good?'. (Any good being primarily, does it clatter like an FX4 taxi, and does it just waft you along on a wave of torque?)

      Probably a bit sad to be more interested in those than in 0 - 60 times and gorgeous curves and detailing, but I don't think I'll be buying one, either way. But, the way these things have traditionally depreciated, who can tell?

    4. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: diesel

      Don't necessarily do them down.

      Here in the US, unfortunately, we generally don't have the option. I wish Volvo would sell their diesel hybrid V60 here. I don't know that I want one, but I'd like to give it a try.

  7. Matt Black

    7:05 Good Call!

    The Archers drives me round the bend. There must be a decent pun in there that ties in the lack of simultaneous gear change ability, I just can't put my finger on it...

    1. returnmyjedi

      Re: 7:05 Good Call!

      I think you'll find that 7.45am is the time when most folks abandon Radio 4.

  8. Colin Ritchie
    Windows

    No Ferrari Hybrid engines?

    With a diesel engine and stop start, I hope Messrs Ferrari and Maserati are considering an electric hybrid version in the future. Green without the mean.

  9. This post has been deleted by its author

  10. Robert Helpmann??
    Facepalm

    The Anti-Maserati

    I don’t know what it says about my friends and their view of Italian society, but every one of them who looked into the 500-litre boot said “you could get a body in there”

    I had to laugh at that as I had a similar experience, though decidedly not with a Maserati (alas). We got a Sienna (Toyota van). It has storage compartments everywhere - it has them where other cars don't even have places. Almost everyone who got in it made a comment to the effect that we would have plenty of places to hide guns.

    1. TheProf
      Angel

      Re: The Anti-Maserati

      Hmm. The girl in the film 'Hanna' (can't remember her name) hides in a 'camper-van' and the family doesn't know she's there.

      So, is there enough room in a Sienna (it might have been a VW in the film) for a young girl to hide from the family for the length of a road trip while still carrying all the usual gubbins a family requires?

      (Nothing sinister, I just thought the film was a load of pants and this was one of the reasons why.)

      1. Dr_N

        Re: The Anti-Maserati

        "Hmm. The girl in the film 'Hanna' (can't remember her name)"

        Was it Hanna ?

      2. Robert Helpmann??
        Childcatcher

        Re: The Anti-Maserati

        So, is there enough room in a Sienna for a young girl to hide from the family...?

        Maybe. I think we misplaced one a while back and there have been noises coming from the rear of the van...

  11. Dick

    Is this the El Reg of the future?

    Posh handbag reviews, and car reviews that are 99% fluff and only 1% about the experience of driving the thing?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe you guys can get Clarkson on part time? He probably has a little extra time on his hands these days...

    1. FlossyThePig

      No,no,no, keep the curly haired supercilious git well away from here!

      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        keep the curly haired supercilious git well away from here!

        Too much competition for our existing stable of supercilious gits?

  13. jake Silver badge

    Looks & drives like a 1992 Ford Taurus SHO.

    Except it has "Italian" design cues; Example: faux Buick exhaust ports on the fenders.

    Far to heavy, too many bells & whistles, and not enough motor to make up for it.

    Want a boot to smuggle people around in? Try a 1962 Buick Invicta ... You can easily fit a "California King" box-spring & mattress for the comfort of about 6 smugglees. Or 8, if you are heading for the drive-in movies (Hey, I was a teenager in the 1970s). 0-60 in about 4.5 seconds.

    As a side-note, I personally watched a 1969 Ghibli SS do 205 MPH at Bonneville (204 out, 206 back) in about 1977. Factory stock ... with better-than-street tires, and about[0] a 200HP shot of nitrous in the top-end. So yes, Maserati's could do 185 in 1978. Maybe not STOCK cars, but what flamboyant multi-millionaire owns a stock car?

    [0] Nitrous tech was in it's infancy back then ...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Looks & drives like a 1992 Ford Taurus SHO.

      So do you like it or not?

      1. Eddy Ito

        Re: Looks & drives like a 1992 Ford Taurus SHO.

        Well he is comparing it to a Ford Tortoise with a clutch, slightly more than half the power and driving the wheels on the other end of the car so I think it's clear Maserati's grapes aren't sweet enough.

  14. thomas k.

    Hire a proper photographer, please

    While I enjoy the car reviews, I'm constantly disappointed by the terrible pictures that accompany them.

    For example: Show us the whole back end, not just a taillight, and not a close-up, either, step back so we can see how it integrates with the whole. Same with the front end.

    Just sayin'.

    1. Mike Moyle

      Re: Hire a proper photographer, please

      Ditto on the photos.

      OTOH, kudos for properly using "dampers" and "damping" in the article. Use of "dampener" and "dampening" unless one is referring to a heavy dew on the south forty drives me mad. (Although as my old dad told me more than once, in my case that's less a drive than a short putt -- but that's another story!)

  15. Kristian Walsh Silver badge

    Engine origins.

    The V6 diesel is made by Italian company VM Motori, not Ferrari. VM is part of Maserati parent company, FIAT Chrysler Automobiles.

    The petrol engine is indeed made by Ferrari in Modena, built on a modified Chrysler V6 engine-block.

  16. Calum Morrison

    Is this a new El Reg measurment?

    If the Maser's length is a unit of Wales, is its boot to be measured in dead Capos or Made Men? No mention of it's airbags, Bulgarian or not, I notice.

    1. Kristian Walsh Silver badge

      Re: Is this a new El Reg measurment?

      I always thought the "Wiseguy" was the standard measurement of boot capacity...

  17. disgruntled yank

    Bravo!

    I hope that The Register will find a chance to review a flat-head Ford or little deuce coupe soon, and let us know just what Chuck Berry and Brian Wilson got wrong.

  18. DryBones

    Autoboxes

    Yes, nothing with an automatic transmission qualifies as a sports car. For you see, even though automatics now changes gears faster than all but the most overcaffeinated stick fiddlers (what is the proper Reg-ization of driving stick?), can be be used in manual mode to choose your own shift points, and provide better fuel economy to boot, it's not a sports car without a manual transmission. If it lets me pay half as much insurance as the ricer that got eaten by my turbo-fed SUV, I'll support it.

    In related topic, opinions on Ford/Mondeo's decision to offer an ECU 'tuner' box for their vehicles? I think it's simultaneously neat and rather behind the curve. To hear it told by one I know, tuner shops already offer the ability to fit a module that lets you switch between "Normal", "Eco", and "Badger in Pants Crazy" ECU profiles from the cruise-control ... er, controls.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The sad thing is...

    I've easily got the money for this, I've got the kids-free lifestyle for this, but what I haven't got is the parking skills. Oh well.

  20. TM2015

    All Ferrari and Maserati paddle shifts are mounted to the column and have been since the 355 F1 when paddleshifts became mainstream. As indeed they should be. If you're changing gear mid-bend in a rear wheel drive car with tonnes of power, you're asking for trouble.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Agree 100% that the paddles should be on the column. However, many of these cars spend a lot of time on twisty mountain roads. Sometimes you need to downshift through a series of bends and you need to know where the paddle is, even if you might not be pointing straight.

      Besides, they look like decent sized paddles. Most cars with steering wheel paddles suffer from those paddles being so small you end up having to use the stick.

      I'll stick with an manual though. Might be slower, but it's a hell of a lot more involving.

  21. Disko
    Facepalm

    Janis Joplin

    wasn't called Janice. Janice is a guitar playing muppet. FACTS SHEOPLE DO ONES EVEN CHECKED Y U EVEN TALK WHEN U DONT NO.

  22. MJI Silver badge

    I still like the Bora

    And that did over 170.

  23. TheDillinquent
    FAIL

    Picture quality

    Has anyone else noticed that the photos in Vulture-At-The-Wheel articles tend to be jaggy and full of jpg artefacts?

  24. Dan Wilkie

    You know, I never really get people who complain about fixed paddles not letting you change gear in a corner.

    If you're driving enthusiastically enough that you need to be using the manual, you shouldn't be changing in the corner. Set the car up, then turn.

    On my CBR I COULD knock it up and down the gears mid corner all I like with my foot. But I don't. Anymore. A bike will teach you very quickly that you shouldn't unbalance things mid corner in a way that will stay with you for quite a while...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      totally agree, you should never be gear shifting in a corner (or braking for that). If you are, you got it wrong. ESPECIALLY in a rear wheel drive car (ones without the drivers a Muppet electronic aid).

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