back to article NetApp consciously uncouples from 500+ staff

We're hearing NetApp has laid-off up to 512 staff world-wide in a cost-cutting exercise before its full-year results come out later today. There are reports that some 200 staff are going from its Research Triangle Park facility in North Carolina. WRAL TechWire says 15 per cent of the RTP facility have received pink slips, …

  1. Steven 1
    WTF?

    "Our focus is on operationalising our strategy to take full advantage of the opportunity in front of us."

    Wow. Just wow.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You've clearly misunderestimated them.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Operationalising our Strategy"

    These are the steps:

    1. Layoffs once a year

    2. Piss off your reseller partners

    3. Every exec must have a pet project which must be irrelevant to the business

    4. Hire B players to replace A players leaving

    5. Everybody vote for Great Place to Work

    6. Celebrate Great Place to Work success

    6. Do the opposite of what you said you would

    7. Celebrate success on Social Media and state what you've done 20 years ago...

    Yeah, that ought to do it!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Operationalising our Strategy"

      8. Buy back $2.5bln stock to keep the price high so activists don't disturb the demolition work in progress. Since the glass house people get paid in stock too it's an added bonus.

      9. Celebrate Great Place to Work...again

      1. Joe 48

        Re: "Operationalising our Strategy"

        10. and repeat, assuming still in business.

      2. Laurent Leconte

        Re: "Operationalising our Strategy"

        10. ...

        11. Profit !

        1. StorageEngineer

          Re: "Operationalising our Strategy"

          Nice..so true!

          Not sure if it is Tom Georegen's era in NetApp is responsible for this. But for sure he is on the hook for turnaround (if lucky).

          I think NetApp strategy really went wrong and they have to take a hit to fix it. Even if they fix it, it will not be same as what they were in last 15-years as traditional storage market is shrinking YoY.

          NetApp always chose path different than it's competition in initial 15-20 years. But recently they followed others for certain things (like FlashRay) and same time failed to adopt effective strategies to fend off new headwinds like AWS/Azure (cloud), hyper-convergence, All-Flash, data center technology, etc.

          Another failure is on the acquisition front, neither do aggressive acquisitions nor digest acquisitions well!

  3. Little Mouse

    Us and Them

    "Our focus is on operationalising our strategy to take full advantage of the opportunity in front of us."

    Presumably the HR dept isn't being unduly affected by this 'opportunity' then.

    1. chrisbow

      Re: Us and Them

      Parts of HR got laid off.

  4. Hi Wreck

    Conscious uncouple

    One can only hope that whomever penned that missive will be among those who were given the high jump.

  5. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
    Thumb Up

    Notwithstanding the article...

    Nice picture of Gwyneth. It's brightened my day up no end.

    Thanks Reg :-)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    "consciously uncoupling"

    Sounds like NetApp chips it's employees when they come in the door? Will there still be a strong sub-conscious bond after the layoffs are over?

  7. Laurent Leconte

    nice round number

    "512 people would be going worldwide"

    Presumably they can only fire people in powers of 2 ?

    "Get me Steve from HR, tell him to free 2 bytes of allocated office space"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: nice round number

      That's what I thought myself, even those HR bunnies are nerds up to their inner core and versed in storage matters. Firing people in blocks of 512 is quite neat!

  8. nate1981

    Did I read this right they are laying off Nick Howell a major advocate and resource for NetApp?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Madness

      Yeh, it makes zero sense at all.

      [anon due to relationship with NTAP]

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There's really nothing one can snark about here - NetApp has become a parody of themselves. Sadly, to be sure... but unquestionably.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yet enough money on the books to announce a dividend hike during earnings the next day. The body isn't even cold yet and Tom's riffling through the pockets.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Come on, where's our resident NetApp comedian when you need him to provide some gold and justification. You know who you are.

  12. Fihart

    Reminder from England.

    To U.S. users (abusers) of English.

    We're happy to have you to borrow our language but we'd like it returned in one piece.

    1. Hans 1

      Re: Reminder from England.

      Well, things evolve on this planet ... according to the theory of evolution ... so do languages. And ... just like animals, they evolve differently on different islands.

      Thou art mistaken!

      I upvoted'th thou as I liked the sense of humour!

      PS: I am British, I cannot stand how the USians pronounce to-may-doe, either ... sadly, we have to live with it!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Fihart - Re: Reminder from England.

      English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. -- Homer J. Simpson

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yikes, wouldn't want to be a shareholder today.

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