back to article So - you thought you knew all about the INSTANT COFFEE DUNES of TITAN?

Shifting the hydrocarbo-ice "sand" dunes of Titan – ice moon of Saturn – takes more effort than had previously been thought, say boffins. Previous ideas on the wind speed required to blow dune-forming particles around the famous satellite were seemingly wrong. Space boffins from the University of Tennessee and Johns Hopkins …

  1. the idiotuk

    FYI Brighton beach is comprised entirely of pebbles.

    1. Sleepy Bob

      not at a ...

      low tide

    2. Unep Eurobats
      Windows

      And crisp packets

      Don't forget the crisp packets.

  2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Joke

    Lakes of methanol and ethanol

    Have a lakeside holiday on Titan, OK it's cold, but you can get blind drunk for free once you get there (ethanol will see to the drunk, methanol to the blind).

    1. big_D Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Lakes of methanol and ethanol

      Just don't light a cigarette!

      1. Martin Gregorie

        Re: Lakes of methanol and ethanol

        In your dreams. The lakes are methane as the article said and ethane, not ethanol as the article misprinted, plus (much) smaller amounts of assorted higher molecular weight alkanes. These are flammable, or would be if there was any free oxygen in Titan, and definitely not intoxicating.

        1. Allan George Dyer

          Re: Lakes of methanol and ethanol

          @Martin Gregorie - propane and butane are intoxicative inhalants. I'm not sure if methane and ethane are too, and you'd have to be insane to book a package tour to Titan to find out. There again, methanol isn't really a tipple for the sane, either.

  3. fridaynightsmoke
    Flame

    Irony

    There's a moon out there with oceans of lovely hydrocarbons. Either they can never economically be reached; or if they can, that itself indicates that we no longer need them.

    TBH I prefer the 2nd option.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: Irony

      Fracking Titan!

    2. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

      Re: Irony

      ...Either they can never economically be reached...

      Once, oil under the North Sea could not be economically reached...

      1. Yugguy

        Re: Irony

        Unless we figure out how to either make plastic from something other than oil or somehow do away with the use of plastic altogether(highly unlikely) we will always need hydrocarbons.

  4. Chris_B
    Thumb Up

    A record ?

    You managed to get 4 "boffins" and one "boffinry" in that article. Way to go.

    But I think you could have had a "chief boffin" in there too.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      Re: A record ?

      err, which article would this be - it may be I have gone blind but I dont see no boffins

      1. AbelSoul
        Headmaster

        Re: may be I have gone blind but I dont see no boffins

        It may be you have.

        To save you re-reading the whole thing:

        Sub heading: Methane moon wind must blow harder - boffins

        1st para: takes more effort than previously thought, say boffins.

        2nd para: Space boffins from the University of Tennessee

        6th para: but boffins think that rather than crushed up shells or grit

        Last line: The research was published in hefty boffinry mag Nature

        1. tech_is_BS

          Re: may be I have gone blind but I dont see no boffins

          I agree, the Reg way-overuses the word "boffins." It was cute the first 300 times but time to retire it.

          1. ravenviz Silver badge
            Boffin

            Re: may be I have gone blind but I dont see no boffins

            How about Tefal heads instead?

  5. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Ethanol?

    "The lakes are not made from water though, but from liquid methane and ethanol."

    Ethane, maybe? I doubt there is enough free oxygen there for whole lakefuls of alcohol to appear spontaneously, not to say a bit cold for the fermenting yeast...

    1. cray74

      Re: Ethanol?

      " I doubt there is enough free oxygen there for whole lakefuls of alcohol to appear spontaneously, not to say a bit cold for the fermenting yeast..."

      http://io9.com/5911365/how-alcohol-is-formed-naturally-in-space

      "The Sagittarius B2 cloud has ten billion, billion, billion liters of alcohol floating in it. Most of it is undrinkable, but there are some of them are ethanol, which is drinkable by humans..."

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ethanol?

        "Most of it is undrinkable,"

        Syntax error. Redo from start.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ethanol?

        "Most of it is undrinkable"

        Are they seriously telling us that the Sagittarius B cloud is made of Skol Lager?

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

          Re: Ethanol?

          Carlsberg. Probably the best beer in the Home Galaxy.

        2. Mystic Megabyte
          Unhappy

          Re: Ethanol?

          >Are they seriously telling us that the Sagittarius B cloud is made of Skol Lager?

          Or any "beer" made by Tenants :(

          1. Gazareth

            but there are some of them are ethanol

            Sounds like the author has been partaking...

  6. kryptonaut
    Mushroom

    Life on Titan

    In the centre right of the image, there is clearly a shark breaking the surface. And I'm pretty sure that's a frickin' laser mounted on its snout...

    Icon because it's the only way to be sure.

  7. Martin 47

    The research was published in hefty boffinry mag Nature

    So what mag do skinny boffinry get published in?

    1. Uffish

      Lightweights

      The journal of Single Cell Biology maybe?

      http://omicsgroup.org/journals/single-cell-biology.php

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "What exactly it is made from remains uncertain"

    Ball-point pens?

  9. sisk

    So if there is life on Titan then it...

    A) Is drunk as hell, what with all the ethanol, and

    B) Has really quite terrible taste in coffee.

    So about like my college room mate then.

  10. jukejoint

    sing to us

    Of the sirens. I bet the music of the spheres gets a bit loud 'round there...bet it turns into a juke joint!

  11. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Alien

    “This simulation reproduces the fundamental physics governing particle motion thresholds on Titan.”

    I love analog computers!

    The "sand" on Titan is unlikely to be the same as what we find by the sea in Brighton. What exactly it is made from remains uncertain, but boffins think that rather than crushed up shells or grit...

    Dead nanomachines? I'm not saying it is aliens, but...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Dead!? Why, no...

      ...just waiting.

  12. Dylan Birch

    Surf's up, anybody?

    Funny how a few grainy images can send a shiver down your spine, isn't it? Would love to be there to see it for real.

    And that picture of Titan against Saturn ... that gives me proper <i>ghirde</i> every time! ;)

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Blowin' in the wind

    "But our atmosphere is a lot thinner than on Titan, where sand molecules have to fight to move against thick nitrogen-rich smog and clouds of methane."

    Um, "fight to move?" That would only apply if the thick Titan air were still. Since it's assumed to be moving, the grains would actually have to fight to remain unmoving. Basically the thicker the air, the less wind it takes to move grains, yet the article suggests the opposite.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Alien

      Re: Blowin' in the wind

      And don't get me started on the "sand molecules".

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Blowin' in the wind

        I don't like sand molecules. They're coarse and rough and irritating and they get everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is porous hydrocarbon slurries.

  14. Wombling_Free
    Mushroom

    First astronaut on Titan

    Comradeski, I'm just going outside for a smoke.

    BANG.

  15. Robert Helpmann??
    Boffin

    There can be only one!

    Titan is of particular interest to space experts because it is the only other body in our solar system with liquid on its surface.

    That we know of. We have not been able to explore the surface of the gas giants. A cursory glance through Wikipedia shows there is thought to be liquid hydrogen, helium and perhaps other substances present on their perhaps ill-defined surfaces.

  16. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    "the stuff is as light as instant coffee."

    How many Olympic swimming pools full would weigh as much an a London bus?

  17. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

    Reasons to visit Titan

    ...“Titan is a strange place indeed,” says co-author Nathan Bridges, rather understatedly...

    One day, Titan will almost certainly become a major tourist/holiday destination. Because it has less gravity than the Moon, combined with an atmosphere about 1.5 times as dense as Earth's. So humans could simply strap wings on and flap their hands to fly....

  18. PCopissa
    Boffin

    Ethanol ?

    FYI given the temperature / pressure pairs of :

    - Titan's surface : 93.7K / 146 kPa

    - ethanol triple point : 150K / 4.3E-7 kPa

    - ethane triple point : 90K / 8E-4 kPa

    it appears that sadly ethanol is firmly in solid form on Titan. Ethane on the other hand...

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