back to article Hey hipsters: Tabs are so last year, fat phones are where it's at

Following a deep gaze into the crystal ball, IDC has decided the dominant growth trend in personal computing sales is phablet-shaped. Beancounters estimate roughly 175 million devices sized between 5.5 to seven inches will find a home in 2014, up 60 per cent, leapfrogging the 170 million old world portable PCs forecasted to …

  1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Phablets - "Hey look at me!'

    And then the muggers/thieves see you with the mega sized device and.... Well, you can fill in the blanks.

    Me? I prefer my mobile communication devices to be a little more discrete but there again, I am not a hipster so what do I know eh?

    1. swissrobin

      Re: Phablets - "Hey look at me!'

      I am sure your 'phone is discrete but is it discreet?

  2. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

    Just change the UI

    Just change the UI to something better suited for touch screens. Like maybe a commandline interface, or a pixel-perfect windowed UI. Microsoft's unquestionable success with Windows 8.excellent has shown us what an amazin effect this can have on sales.

    And whrn you run out of features after that, there's always a ribbom bar!

    Who needs useful additions when gimmicks, nomenclature differentials, splitting one product into two and UI changes can all be used instead? Then jack up the licensing, and sue your own paying customers for not obeying some exceptionally obscure or maddeningly irrational and obtuse bit of your 150 pages of lawyerese.

    Money will rain from the sky!

    Don't forget to work in "the cloud" and subscriptions. That means more money!

    Do not, under any circumstances actually innovate, tablet makers. If you do so, those lousy peasants will learn to expect it. Innovation is costly. You margins will fall. Learn from the PC market, indeed! Kick anyone who doesn't agree with your "vision" to the curb! Get 'em by the short and curlies and then twist until money falls out. The mass market doesn't matter; you can always Oracle the fortune 2000 to success!

    1. Khaptain Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Just change the UI

      As a suggestion, why not use "Oracle Forms" for the UI. Admittedly it's not quite TIFKAM or Unity but tab works great, all the device would really need is a tab key.

    2. Irongut

      Re: Just change the UI

      Yawn. Trevor your rants are about as interesting and coherent as Eadon's were. Just stop.

      1. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

        Re: Just change the UI

        @Irongut

        But I typed that comment in using a touchscreen keyboard via Lynx on a shell on my smartphone! THAT'S INNOVATIVE! Just like Metro on a desktop is an amazing breakthrough in productivity and usefulness! Surely there can never be even the remotest of problems with that.

        ...or are you admitting that UIs should be tailored for the type of input expected on the device? Because that would be blasphemy.

    3. Sean Timarco Baggaley

      Re: Just change the UI

      Ironic that the only two companies that have actually done more to push the industry forwards of late are the ones constantly accused of not "innovating" any more. As if innovation is a tap you can just turn on and off on demand.

      Say what you will about Windows 8.1, but at least Microsoft are *trying* to do something new. They're taking risks and trying new ideas, which is more than any bugger else seems to be doing these days. That ModernUI, with its typography-led approach is apparently so awful, nobody has been inspired by it in any way at all. Except, that is, for pretty much everyone and their dog. Even Apple's iOS 7 took some cues from it.

      It says a lot about the state of this industry that Apple's only real competition in UX design today is Microsoft. Nobody else is even *trying*.

      1. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

        Re: Just change the UI

        Hey, don't get me wrong here, I believe that Metro is innovative. In fact, I think it's a damned good UI in a lot of respects and I have a list of ways in which I wish I could make use of the Start Screen/Tiles on the desktop that I just can't. For example, the "live tile" concept is basically the "war room" display done properly.

        But the Start Screen isn't a replacement for the Start Menu. It's very clumsy as an access point to your complete list of (rare-used) applications, and it's disconcerting to use it as a frequent means of getting at regular applications. I don't like full screen grabbers on a mouse-and-keyboard.

        AHA; but there are places where what is an entirely inappropriate tool becomes fantastic! Multi-monitor, for example, could be made awesome because of the start screen. While the start screen isn't a replacement for the start menu it is the ultimate evolution of the quick launch bar.

        In a multi-monitor environment I want to be able to "pin" the start screen to a given monitor and have it up 100% fo the time. The live tiles would present me with new information for the various applications on a streaming basis while also serving as great one-click launchers for various apps.

        Where it all goes horribly wrong is in doing things like "trying to force full screen apps on desktop users" and "taking away a compact, hierarchical menu system that doesn't take up the full screen from desktop users."

        Metro as a tablet interface? Actually pretty good. But on the desktop it's about as useful as a command line on a touchscreen smartphone. You can make it work, but it's frustrating and not nearly as useful as on a more approriate device.

        WE'LL HAVE TO AGRE

        E TO DISAGREE ABOU

        T THE TYPOGRAPHY

        ELEMENTS OF METRO

        AS I FIND THEM RATHE

        R ANNOYING.

        Microsoft's issue is not an inability to innovate, it's a complete inability to figure out where to apply said innovations appropriately. They just can't help themselves, literally every good idea they come up with is run through a process of "how can we use this to either lock people in to our platforms or leverage a (near-)monopoly in one area to attempt to create one in another area". They can't not think in this fashion, and it completely ruins their "innovations".

        Instead of putting their best stuff out there in the manner that makes the most sense, and then competing - even with themselves - they consistently choose to apply their innovations inappropriately.

        Hence my very ambivalent feelings towards Microsoft. Unlike Eadon, I don't for a second think that everything Microsoft makes is evil or bad. I have always maintained that Microsoft produces some of the best technologies on the planet, and that they employ many of the smartest people currently alive.

        But the best technologies and the smartest people mean nothing if the only way you allow their use is in a manner that is counter-intuitive, frustrating and ultimately actively detrimental to your customers. Microsoft's management, from their licensing to their partner relationships to what they choose to allow in their OS and app design (such as the ability to turn off Metro/get back the start menu or turn off the ribbon/get back the menu+toolbar) is what is earning Microsoft enmity.

        Newer is not always better. Novelty is not, of itself, valuable. Your "new thing" must be demonstrably better than the "old thing", and this is something that rabid fanboys of any company never seem to get.

        Microsoft makes a lot of new things. What they don't do is make using those things easy, affordable, intuitive or rational. (See: VDI licensing.) Until they pull their head out of their ass, I will continue to mock them and their implementations, even if I respect and admire much of their technology.

        I have no idea whatsoever how you feel Oracle innovate at all, or are worth any sort of praise, admiration or even consideration whatsoever. Oracle either have you by the balls and you are a hostage that will pay them anything, or they don't. If they don't, why the metric fuck would you put yourself in that position, given their track record?

        Cheers.

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. cs94njw

    Yup - CPU power on my mobile means nothing to me. I surf websites, use GPS software/maps, make the odd phone call, chat on Hangouts/SMS, install a game (but we're not talking Half Life 2 here), etc.

    What do I want from a phone? Bigger battery. Easier to integrate with PC and TV. More useful apps.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Personally, I would like very clear audio quality in phone calls. The telephone is still my most-used and favourite app.

    2. ecofeco Silver badge

      Exactly, cs94njw.

  5. Arnold Lieberman

    Hipsters shmipsters

    Got my oversized phone last April, despite it's idiosyncrasies (well it is no-name Chinese), the form factor has been mostly brilliant. So much easier to read web pages than the 4.5" one I had previously, to the extent that a tablet is unnecessary. Stuck in a queue? Get out the phone and do a bit of reading. Stuck on a bus / train? iPlayer helps to pass the time.

    Of course the hipsters laughed at it back then but I'm sure as soon as the iShiny is revealed they'll forget that phablets have been around for years.

    And yes, it used to be embarrassing to take a call on it but the answer was simple. Silent mode.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hipsters shmipsters

      Stuck in a queue? listen to your old style MP3 player. Stuck on a bus / train ? Listen to your old style MP3 player or read a book.

      Fashionable? Who cares

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hipsters shmipsters

      " the form factor has been mostly brilliant"

      yes, but can you shove it up your arse?

      *edit - I'm not implying that you should, by the way.

  6. GregC
    Megaphone

    So after all these years....

    it turns out Dom Joly wasn't just making comedy sketches, he was really predicting THE FUTURE!*

    *Sorry. Couldn't resist Register-ising it....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So after all these years....

      Hands up who did that joke the first time they picked up a tablet.

  7. PaulM 1

    Putting a tablet to your ear is not cool

    Any phone bigger that 5 inches in size looks ridiculous against your ear. What you need is a sub-5 inch phone and a tablet. If you want to go on the internet outside the range of wi-fi then you can tether your tablet from your phone.

    1. Sean Timarco Baggaley

      Re: Putting a tablet to your ear is not cool

      So, you've not heard of this new-fangled "Bluetooth" technology, then?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder how they decided the size range for "phablets"

    A few years ago, a phone over 5" was crazy big, now the typical size will probably be near that with Apple no longer dragging down the average.

    They seem to have decided on 5.5" as the dividing line. Because that's what the bigger iPhone 6 will be? So the original Note is just counted as an ordinary phone now? Because it surely was a phablet when introduced.

    I hear in China phones over 7" have become a fast growing market segment. It may look ridiculous held to your ear, but if the owner rarely makes calls, or uses speakerphone or headset, it is just a small tablet with voice capability so you don't need to carry a phone as well.

    Trying to segment the "smart device" market by size is rather pointless as there is more and more overlap, and what you place in one category today may be seen as part of a different category a couple years from now.

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: I wonder how they decided the size range for "phablets"

      you forgot the latest fad ---

      Being seen pretending to speak into your mammoth 10in phone that is clasped to your ear.

      Oh look at me it shouts.

      Yeah, look at the dork if you ask me. If they are male then you have to wonder how big their dangly bits are? A case of the bigger the phone, the smaller....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I wonder how they decided the size range for "phablets"

        No doubt the owner of said fadlet/phablet will also have a Shmartwatch. That will also say much about them. Look at me, look at me

        1. GregC
          Thumb Up

          Re: "fadlet"

          Excellent.

      2. silent_count
        Joke

        Re: I wonder how they decided the size range for "phablets"

        "you forgot the latest fad ---

        Being seen pretending to speak into your mammoth 10in phone that is clasped to your ear.

        Oh look at me it shouts."

        For the truly hipster, nothing beats "making calls" on a 30 inch CRT.

  9. Dan Paul

    It makes sense if you use a bluetooth earpeice

    Lets face it, more mobile content is on the way so bigger is better up to a point. My eyes aren't what they once were so bigger screens and fonts really help functionality.

    The "Note" is quite large enough as a phablet. Bigger than that and you will have issues carrying it around. I have an S4 and pockets are too small in some cases.

    However, put that phablet in your briefcase and its size becomes moot when you use it as a phone IF you use a bluetooth earpiece. Fix the battery life on earpieces and phones and it's all settled.

    Unfortunately no one has yet found a way to keep you from looking like you are crazy as a loon when you talk to yourself.

    1. VBF

      Re: It makes sense if you use a bluetooth earpeice

      "Unfortunately no one has yet found a way to keep you from looking like you are crazy as a loon when you talk to yourself."

      More to the point,no one has yet found a way to make me give a s**t what other people think I look like! :-)

  10. Arctic fox
    Happy

    Can we not agree on something, several things?

    1. We all have different user cases - let us all enjoy the formfactor/OS we prefer.

    2. All Analists (sic) are tossers.

    3. Introducing totally extraneous issues on a thread is pta.

  11. Jess

    Why would anyone want a 3G (etc) Tablet, rather than a Phablet?

    If I am carry around a device like that, I don't want to have to (pay for and) carry a phone too.

    I never use a phone against my ear, because it gives me a headache, I always use speakerphone or a headset.

    A well designed phablet should have an incredible battery life when being used as a phone.

  12. Chris G

    Phablet and Tablet

    I have a 5" Huawei G700 and a Samsung Tab 3, the Tab 3 has become almost redundant because the phone does almost everything I could want from it during a normal day. The only let down is when I want to show photos to a client, then the Sammy excels, the picture quality is excellent and it loads rapidly. I do always take the tablet when I am traveling as the on screen type pad works well and it is much easier to make notes at length, send emails and research in depth with a bigger screen, I only wish I had bought the 3G version but with 3GB a month on my phone it doesn't seem to use too much with a hotspot.

  13. thomas k.

    reasons to open up their wallet(s)

    Perhaps if the oligarchs doubled our wages, we'd have extra money to buy more of the tat we produce for them. Win-win all around.

  14. Yugguy

    Do not want

    Am I the only person in the world that DOESN'T want a phablet?

    I want a smartphone that fits in my pocket and a 10-inch tablet that I can actually see stuff on.

    Which is why I have an S3 Mini and a Galaxy 10

    To me a phablet is the worst of both worlds.

  15. Infernoz Bronze badge
    Meh

    BS Fablets are too bulky as phones, and limited for detailed content and readability.

    Seriously, you really don't want to be look at much detailed stuff on a phone; too much scrolling.

    Around 300DPI is the sweet spot for any quality media on a hand held screen; much above this the detail will be wasted, so there is a niche for fast about 300DPI tablets for anything big and detailed, like magazines, technical books, images and detailed maps e.g. the Samsung Tab Pro and S tablets.

    I decided to upgrade to a new Samsung Tab S 10.5" because these are finally good enough for fast 2 page views of PDF books. PDF to EPub conversion for lower resolution screens can have rendering artifacts and EPub often has less detail, so proper full page(s) view of PDFs is really useful.

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