back to article It's Google HQ - the British one: Reg man snaps covert shots INSIDE London offices

It’s not every day that El Reg gets invited to Google UK’s London HQ, so we thought we’d take a few snaps to remember the occasion. That’s not to say we haven’t been here before, back in March 2012 we were in the very same place, only Google hadn’t moved in yet as the offices were still being fitted out. Google UK reception …

Android L == Android Lego?

Suppose it would make a change from Android <insert food item here> and also means another multi product tie up, a la KitKat?

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Anonymous Coward

Sigh......

and here I am staring at white walls, light grey desks and dark blue carpets.....and they wonder why we fucking hate the place.

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Re: Sigh......

Well, if you must work from home...

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Re: Sigh......

We have

Cheap and nasty migraine inducing fluorescent lighting.

Gloss open plan desks to reflect said light directly into your eyeballs.

Those blue swivel office chairs everyone hates.

White walls.

Cheap and nasty diarrhoea brown coffee (or is it blood) stained carpet tiles.

Windows that don't open.

Air con that is either too humid, too dry, or, strangely, heating...

A big patch of grass outside that someone decided should be left to grow into some kind of idyllic nature jungle. It looks like a heroin addict's garden.

...but we have a fake Starbucks that does good coffee

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Re: Sigh......

At least you don't have a bathtub in reception.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Sigh......

You have Blue carpets!?!?!? Luxery! I think ours were whiteish at some point in the distant past... Now they're the colour of an old smoker's teeth.

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Re: Sigh......

Cubical Green Carpets here

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Re: Sigh......

If you are wanting rid of said bathtub, I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands (although, apparently, it's insanely heavy)

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Happy

At least it supports their assertations....

that no actual work goes on in London therefore no tax is liable as it's not a business, not at all, no siree. Or is it Siri?

Either way looks a nice place to hang let alone work.

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Black Helicopters

"While we'd imagined we'd give tissue samples here – with the results being used to profile us for meds and robotic transplants Google can sell you in the coming years"

Nah, they want to brainwash us to accept Google glass first

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Anonymous Coward

Did they show you the room that contains the souls of all the grandmothers that have been sold to Google in order to obtain 'free' services?

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The office sign is already broken. Maybe a NSA back door...

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If only...

Google needed overweight, over paid, dot net programmers.

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"While we'd imagined we'd give tissue samples here"

They probably did that surreptitiously at some point, and will be dragged through the courts at some point in the future with the defence that it was a rogue engineer that added tissue sampling to that door handle (which, naturally, is a part of the Internet of Pointless Things).

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those ... sofas?

Those wooden, S-shaped sofa thingies, with no backrests? Accidents waiting to happen, I'd wager.

WTF is wrong with people?

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Megaphone

Re: those ... sofas?

Those UI designers have do do something else with their time between UI refreshes.

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Re: those ... sofas?

Those are polished turds.

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Re: those ... sofas?

Then it must have been the same team that developed W8.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: those ... sofas?

Wooden?

Look like they're springy, upholstered in leather to me.

Perfect for lying face down on with arms and legs dangling on either side.

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Gimp

Re: "lying face down on with arms and legs dangling"

Now where has my spanking paddle gone?

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Re: those ... sofas?

No, it looks like that's where the Boston Dynamics Big Dog relieves itself.

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Trollface

Re: those ... sofas ... seem ... well-polished

>...the same team that developed W8

Nah. Dogfooding is big at Google! And Android is (based on) open source, isn't it? There's your answer, right there.

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Babbage and Turing. Not to mention

Flowers, Newman, Blackett, Hartree...

oh, they didn't.

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IT since the 1990s

The City bought it, mismanaged it, and then sold it, because it was too hard, and not profitable enough.

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Alien

It behooves one ...

to state one likes the word "behoove"

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This post has been deleted by its author

Re: It behooves one ...

Americans say "behooves", Brits say "behoves" (according to my Chambers Dictionary). I think the word behooves has been a back construction from "behoof" which doesn't really have anything to do with behoves.

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Central Services

This old system of yours could be on fire and I couldn't even turn on the kitchen tap without filling in a 27B/6... Bloody cloud.

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Anonymous Coward

Where's the rest?

Been there a dozen times and you've barely scratched the surface of the googleplex....

..where are the pics of the dance studio (!), the wacky 'submarine' doors with faux hatch wheels, themed meeting rooms named after various flora, the employees with their pet dogs lying on bean bags next to their desks, the inflatable video conference pods, the astroturf floors, the all-you-can-carry free confectionary stand in the restaurant.......

Must try harder - the vulture needs to ask its contact for the full tour next time!

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Re: Where's the rest?

beyond the strip of yellow and black on the floor that says "no visitors beyond this point"

and the little signs on the doors that tell you which coloured pass you need to enter this room

you can't take pictures inside the Temples of Syrinx

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeVTkUUCwfo

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Dissapointing!

I was expecting to see hordes of borged and assimilated Google employees moving around their augmented reality with super beta Glasses implanted onto their heads.

Not even a Seven of Nine to be seen.

I'll stick to working within yards of the beach here, where there is occasionally some outstanding augmentation.

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Why never any employees

Ok admittedly this tour was after hours, but why in all of the "we're such a cool employer, look at our fun shit" pictures do you never see any employees utilising this "fun shit"

Just saying

By the way I'm perfectly prepared to be corrected should somebody provide a picture of some Oompa Loompas diving down a slide or something.

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Re: Why never any employees

Probably because that would require consent and most people don't like having their pictures taken by strangers.

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Re: Why never any employees

@SoaG

I see what you did there :)

+1 subtle internet points to you!

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Meh

Re: Why never any employees

Ok admittedly this tour was after hours @Slap

After hours? Hmm...

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Re: Why never any employees

There aren't any 'after hours' in high end software shops where I was employed. Someone was always there...working or sleeping on the floor.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Why never any employees

You're lucky you had a floor to sleep on. In my day...

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I'd love to work there. I'm a bit of a google fan, to be honest, but it would be nice to work in such an interesting, different workplace.

Unfortunately - I can't code for toffee. But if someone buggers up a laser printer or wrecks their laptop - i'm your man.

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