back to article YES: Scotland declares independence ... from the dot co dot uk empire

Scotland has shaken off the shackles of its English oppressors by ditching the vicious Sassenach web address system – and replacing it with a homegrown one. Anyone living in the People's Republic of Salmond can now manually secede from their Tory overlords in Westminster by choosing a new .scot suffix. Previously, the coddled …

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  1. jake Silver badge

    Eh?

    "Here in London, it's considered a little parochial to tie yourself to just one godforsaken corner of the earth. But in Scotland, it's a badge of pride."

    England is one godforsaken corner of the earth. Ask the Romans ... I got me Os & As in Yorkshire (Harrogate Granby Highschool) in the late 1970s/early 1980s. It was a VERY parochial experience. In other words, pot-kettle-etc.

    1. frank ly

      Re: Eh?

      Harrogate? We used to dream of going to Harrogate. That was where all the posh, sophisticated, cosmopolitan people lived. You were lucky!

      [I got my Os & As in the early 70s in the West Riding. You are largely right about the parochialism.]

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Eh?

        For "posh, sophisticated, cosmopolitan people", read "aged, retired, out of retirement money people".

        In retrospect, it was pretty awful. At least the Punk scene kept us kids alive. A gig, two pints & 5 fags for under a quid and a half. Seemed like a good deal at the time.

        And we always had John Peel(RIP) to listen to on the transistor when we got home.

        Kids these days smearing their fondle-slabs without actually experiencing the reality of life have no idea how bad their lives are.

      2. AbelSoul
        Childcatcher

        Re: Eh?

        Harrogate? We used to dream of going to Harrogate. That was where all the posh, sophisticated, cosmopolitan people lived. You were lucky!

        "Lucky? We used get half an hour before we went to bet, share a small bag of gravel for breakfast before heading down t'pit for 25 hours a day..."

        etc, etc, etc.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. big_D Silver badge

      Re: Eh?

      Memories!

      My father used to go up to Harrogate every year for a trade show, when I was a kid (70s). He'd come back with tins full of Farrah's Harrogate Toffee!

      I remember using the tins to carry my school lunch money in.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Maybe it's because I'm *not* a Londoner...

      "Here in London, it's considered a little parochial to tie yourself to just one godforsaken corner of the earth. But in Scotland, it's a badge of pride."

      I can't figure out if this is cleverly subtle but intentional self-deprecation, ironically acknowledging London's up-its-own-arse self-obsessed insularity (in which case, well done). Or whether it's genuine and the author genuinely lacks any awareness of the irony in his/her/its statement.

      Sadly, I suspect the latter is more probable.

      If so, I hope you choke on your "Skanky Burger" at whatever shitty, overpriced faux-austerity establishment is in favour with navel-gazing tw**s this week (or are gourmet burger joints so last month?), thus missing your appointment at the old-school wet-shave barber (Estb. 1967) you didn't give a toss about until it was featured in Time Out.

      Thinking about this, if some evil genius was to come up with a plan to rid the planet of self-obsessed Londoners while leaving everyone else intact, it would *have* to involve Oyster Cards. F****** Oyster cards. Seriously... no-one outside the M25 gives a f*** about them or your problems with the arse-activated readers for the marmalade-based magnetic stripe on the zone 47 prepay cards or that their plutonium content has caused you to grow a third nipple. It's not my problem, I couldn't give a toss.

      Ditto Boris Johnson.

      Seriously, a "Soylent Green" Oyster card made from Boris Johnson would be *the* ultimate symbol of Navel-Gazing London in existence.

      Er, okay, I think I'm finished now.

      (*) Seriously, I did a quick Google out of curiosity for "London burgers". As if to confirm my opinion, the first bloody result was a Time Out entry on a joint called "Advisory." which was "named after the Asian Women's Advisory Centre formerly on this site". How f****** hipster can you get?

    5. RobHib
      Stop

      Re: Eh?

      "England is one godforsaken corner of the earth. Ask the Romans ..."

      ...So is Scotland, the Romans proved it with a wall!

  2. al 3
    Facepalm

    A bit rich coming from the 'People's Republic of Boris' , the truly godforsaken corner of the earth :-)

    But hey, prodding this subject will always get you the attention you so crave .... who am I to dissapoint :-)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      how long before...

      Mr Salmon decrees that the preferred TLD is '.ssr' and not .scot

      meaning Scottish Socialist Republic

      even if the vote is September goes agin him?

      I refrained from .sssr (Scottish soviet socialist republic) because that would give the wee man even more delusions of grandeur

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: how long before...

        I refrained from .sssr (Scottish soviet socialist republic) because that would give the wee man even more delusions of grandeur

        I don't know. I can imagine Mr Putin being only too happy to help him out: out go the Tridents in come the Russian subs…

      2. wolfetone Silver badge

        Re: how long before...

        You don't know how lucky you are boy, back in the SS, back in the SS, back in the SSSR.

        If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there. Anything for a life without the Tories ruling over me.

        1. MrXavia

          Re: how long before...

          But is the SNP the Lesser of two evils?

          I think I'd have to choose the Tories over the SNP, not that I really like the Tories... they are just the best of a bad bunch for now...

        2. El_Fev

          Re: how long before...

          Yeah yeah you say it, and then they get in and your still here leeching off the rest of us! go now, will pay your fare!

        3. Jedit Silver badge

          "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

          I'll swap you - if Scotland gets independence, I'll be the first to leave. Take a look at the report on Scottish independence in the current issue of the Economist. Salmond's plan for independence is to spend all the oil money and hope it brings in business. Students of history will note that in general terms this is painfully similar to the Darien Project, where Scotland overcommitted its existing resources to New World colonisation in the hope that this would bring in great wealth. The gamble didn't pay off, and the result was... Scotland having to sign the Act of Union.

          1. Day

            Re: "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

            Students of history will know that the Darien scheme actually involved a place in Panama. How is this "in general terms [...] painfully similar" to spending oil money to attract business? I can't say anything at all about the independence movement, because I know nothing about it. However, your analogy is preposterous.

            1. billse10

              Re: "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

              ". How is this "in general terms [...] painfully similar" to spending oil money to attract business? .... However, your analogy is preposterous."

              It's as preposterous as calling John Law an economist (Wikipedia) or Gordon Brown an honest, intelligent and clever man (read Jonathan Powell's excellent book on Machiavellian politics if you think for one moment Brown was not a total *).

          2. Ally 1

            Re: "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

            What the..

            Oil will be 10% of Scottish GDP. Salmond is talking of getting loans of 3% GDP to stimulate businesses and create unemployment for the first three years of a Scottish parliament.

            How can you compare that to the Darien project, where the majority of Scotland's wealth was tied up..Hyperbole much?

            The other option is to sit back and have no investment and watch the country wither and die. Hell no, we don't want investment in our country, who needs jobs or industry when the oil runs out!

            1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

              Re: "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

              Oil will be 10% of Scottish GDP. Salmond is talking of getting loans of 3% GDP to stimulate businesses and create unemployment

              What more of it? ;-)

              Salmond is a smooth talker and a canny (no irony intended) politician (he's still a shit like the rest of them). However, I do think that much like Arafat he may actually prefer remaining First Minister a Scotland within the UK than of an independent Scotland because it is electorally extremely advantageous to be able to blame England/The Tories/London for things.

              I hope the referendum in September goes well and sees a large turnout. I also hope that the "better together" campaign finds better arguments than the financial ones. Devolution has been an undoubted success, more of it please including to the English regions. Tax raising powers (and concomitant responsibility).

              I can also recommend the piece in this week's Economist that covers many of the practicalities of dealing with independence. Worth reading whatever side you take on the issue.

              1. Ally 1

                Re: "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

                lol, well spotted! And thanks for the link. Salmond is also a good economist. I get where you are coming from re blaming England, but in some cases it's entirely justified..maybe not even England, but the south east.

                We end up paying for laws like the bedroom tax, and the government guarantee of mortgage deposits for houses, which are laws solely intended to deal with a shortage of housing in the south east. In Scotland houses are bigger, and there were long lists of people looking for smaller houses to avoid the bedroom tax. The smaller houses just didn't exist, Now Holyrood has to pay Westminster £15m per year from its budget just to cover the costs of the tax.

                The Better Together campaign has been woeful. I can't remember any positives..It's either negative, usually without backing; you won't get the £ (so you'll cut your nose off to spite your face?), you won't get into Europe (we already are..and that question could be solved in minutes if Cameron actually asked it), or emotional..but we fought together in the war (and so did the USA, when did it split from Britain?) There's kinda bribery..we'll give you more powers (which ones?..Not sure, but more, loads, honestly). There's not one aspect of their campaign that says Scotland will be a better country in the UK.

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

            The Darien Scheme was an investment in equal parts by both England and Scotland. At the last minute, England pulled out of the scheme, leaving Scotland to go it alone. Had England not bowed to pressure by the East India Company, the scheme may well have succeeded.

            I'm voting yes in September, but regardless of how the vote goes, I'll be putting my effort in to doing what I can to make our country a great one. It's a shame you don't share the same love of your country.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

              Investment in Darien was from individuals not nations. The political background of planting a colony in Spanish-claimed territory at a time when England wanted Spain onside while the English were at war was France should not be underestimated.

              What would more capital have done for Darien? It seems to have been badly managed under very trying circumstances.

          4. auburnman

            Re: "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

            I think you'll have a hotly contested race on your hands if you want to be first out. Good to know some people would move TO Scotland though, more houses for the people who want to stay in Britain.

          5. dervheid

            Re: "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

            Always one ill-informed idiot:

            The Scottish nobles were coerced into the Act of Union, not just by the disater of the Darien Project, but by the 'Alien Act' which, had they not acceeded, would have resulted in their property in England being forfeit.

            Propagated by the results of greed on both sides of the 'union'.

            Either way, all that shit was over 300 years ago. Some of us have gotten over that, and are looking to the future, not the sordid past (some seem unable to see past 1690). With the obvious exception of the recent, and ongoing, draining of ALL the UK's wealth into the coffers of the Tories and their cohorts. An iScotland will be the kick in the knackers the political system in the entire UK needs, but so many seem to be so afraid of initiating

            1. TheColinous

              Re: "If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there."

              This. I live in Surrey, about one hour from Waterloo, and I hope the Scots vote to leave because it may - I say may - bring the whole rotten edifice down around Cameron's ears. If Scotland votes yes, that will encourage Plaid Cymru too, so they'll be next in line.

              Westminster is rotten to the core, and someone ought to take it out back and shoot it dead like the shambling zombie it is. Scotland leaving is the best chance for that ever happening.

        4. serendipity

          Re: how long before...

          Yeah right. Cos the last labour government was such a success ;-)

          A tenner says you're just a wind bag and you won't move even if Salmond gets his way!

          Are we on?

      3. Ally 1

        Re: how long before...

        And yet he was elected democratically with a clear majority in a parliamentary system that was specifically designed not to have a majority. Unlike Cameron who actually runs the country with his one Scottish MP..which one is the dictator again?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: how long before...

          "which one is the dictator again?"

          Oooh .. i know this one ... the one who thinks the future of an entire country should be decided by less than fifteen percent of it's population and that the other eighty five percent shouldn't even be consulted. Yes, that one ..

          1. Ally 1

            Re: how long before...

            The future of Scotland will be decided by 100% of the people living there. That's democracy. Scotland voted to be part of the union, and it has the mandate to have a vote about it's future. If England wanted to leave the UK would it be forced to aks Scotland, Northern Ireland or Wales?

            Scotland being ruled by a party that has only one MP and 16.7% of the Scottish vote..no democracy whatsoever

            1. EssEll

              Re: how long before...

              If England wanted to leave the UK would it be forced to aks [sic] Scotland, Northern Ireland or Wales?

              Actually, right now, yes I'm pretty sure it would have to ask...

              "Mr Scotland/Wales/Northern Ireland, Mr England here. I'm taking your central financial institution and your armed forces away from you, amongst other things. Soz. LOL".

              "Aye like f*ck you are, jimmy." (I'm Scottish, I'm allowed to racially stereotype my own people.) "What are we meant tae dae? You gonna gie us some spondoolies as compensation, so we can build our own army and create our own central financial structure?"

              "LOLOLOL You always were the funny one, Jock. Not my problem. TTFN!"

              Something along those lines?

      4. big_D Silver badge

        Re: how long before...

        Using the word Socialist is enough to drive most Americans into a frothing frenzy these days. ;-)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: how long before...

          Using the word liberal is enough to drive most Americans into a frothing frenzy these days. ;-)

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: how long before...

        And had you asked a citizen of CCCP to vocalise those initials to our ears it would sound like SSSR, the cyrillic C is pronounced like the latin S.

  3. Alister

    Here in London, it's considered a little parochial to tie yourself to just one godforsaken corner of the earth.

    Which is why we made such a fuss over the .london domain...

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      By fuss do you mean "ignore the useless new suffix entirely"?

      1. Alister

        By fuss do you mean "ignore the useless new suffix entirely"?

        Ah, you misunderstood. The "We" was not "We the Regtard community", it was "We the local government of Boris".

        I quote:

        "There is enormous interest in Dot London right across the capital, not just from high-street brands but also the small businesses that are the lifeblood of London’s economy. London leads the world in technology and our businesses are among the most dynamic and innovative anywhere, so it is no surprise so many see Dot London for the great opportunity it is.”

        <cough> Bollocks </cough>

        1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

          Great big hairy ones at that.

          So far I've yet to see any evidence of interest anywhere across the capital. The only "interest" seems to comes from those that are trying to sell them.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            So far I've yet to see any evidence of interest anywhere across the capital. The only "interest" seems to comes from those that are trying to sell them.

            But, but, Boris says there is, so it must be true??

  4. David Roberts

    Another money earning scheme

    Promoted by Registrars.

    Most people use Gogle to find web addresses and only see the text extension to an email address so how important is the domain?

    Unless, of course, you are protecting a valuable trade name in which case you are being held to ransom.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Another money earning scam

      Spelling corrected

      1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

        Re: Another money earning scam

        Confused. Press release claiming a glorious day for the techno-scot. But nic.scot appears to be sitting in.. Bulgaria?

  5. WonkoTheSane

    Scotland using English tld?

    Shouldn't the tld be .alba ?

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: Scotland using English tld?

      Moot: the vast majority of Scots speak a descendant of Anglo-Saxon and not Gaelic (around 80,000 I believe).

      The bigger problem is how all these vanity domains erode the underlying sense of the domain name system.

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge

        alt.swedish.chef.bork.bork.bork

        What, you mean you you're one of those Luddites which doesn't want domain names to end up like the alt hierarchy from Usenet groups? Why ever not?

        1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

          Re: alt.swedish.chef.bork.bork.bork

          .alba was blocked by Albania for passing off and to avoid confusion.

          .sco forked to .ibm and .nov and may still be in dispute resolution.

          .wee and .eck are available from alternative registrars. Premiums apply to golden registrations.

          .midge is reserved for the Scottish Air Force.

          According to ISO 3166-2:GB it should be .sct anyway.

    2. Al Jones

      Re: Scotland using English tld?

      .alba might be a bit confusing for those who have encountered the phrase "Perfidious Albion".

    3. J.G.Harston Silver badge

      Re: Scotland using English tld?

      No, a country code TLD should be TWO characters.

  6. Colin Brett
    Joke

    Will this be open to non-Scotland-based businesses?

    A famous race course, for instance, might be interested in a.scot .

    Colin

  7. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Is Great taken?

    It will be now

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Is Great taken?

      no, the P is being taken ..

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