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back to article Urinating teen polluted 57 Olympic-sized swimming pools - cops

A Portland teen collared last month for urinating in a reservoir at the cost of 38 million gallons of lost drinking water has raised some interesting scientific questions. There's more here on just how cops charged 18-year-old Dallas Jeffrey Delynn for taking a slash at the water repository at Mount Tabor, prompting officials to …

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No way near Homeopathic standards..

Still needs another universe or two* full of water to meet the 200C standard.

* ok its 10^230 Universes...

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Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

Ooops.. that should be 10^320.

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Happy

Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

I wonder whether believers in homeopathy ever worry about the "memory of water" theory. It would certainly worry me, if I believed in it, because one of water's persistent memories must be being piss at many times during its existence.

I once wrote a paper on a quantum mechanical theory homeopathy. It got accepted in Annals of Improbable research. A preprint is here.

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Joke

Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

You sound a bit "annally retentive" to me.

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Thumb Up

Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

Nice paper, Michael H.F. Wilkinson!

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Happy

Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

Thanks! It's been translated to Czech and Spanish much to my amusement.

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Pint

Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

"Quantum Mechanical Interpretation"

I'm going to make this my new catch all responce to any question at work.

Boss: "Hey, did the backups work last night?"

Me: "Quantum Mechanical Interpretation says that if I check then they might have, or might not have. So to be safe I won't look."

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Nice paper but you missed a trick

The bond citation should have been numbered 007 for added authenticity.

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

You sir owe me a new keyboard!!!

Coffee went everywhere when I read this "In quantum parlance, the "wave function" of the particle is said to "collapse" into a specific state (or flask) due to the act of observing. Incidentally, this is why cats resent people staring at them: the constant collapse of their wave function is a strain on their delicate senses". Worthy of Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams.

Wonderful paper

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Headmaster

Re: Nice paper but you missed a trick

Trick not missed!

If you look at the citation list you'll see this

References

1. Bond J. (1966) A protocols for correct preparation of vermouth based beverages. J.Wine Spirits 0:0-7

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Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

"I wonder whether believers in homeopathy ever worry about the "memory of water" theory. It would certainly worry me, if I believed in it, because one of water's persistent memories must be being piss at many times during its existence."

So water has a memory... I think it must somehow drain MY memory, because I drunk so much I must have been pissing buckets of the stuff but I can't for the life of me remember doing so. Though my shoes were wet this morning.

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Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

Would easily have hit the 200C limit as the only homeopathetic component of the stream was the final few drops that were correctly (ahem) shaken. The majority of the freefall stream would have no effect whatsoever.. along with all the fish, fowl and possibly bear piss (run off from the woods) in the lake..

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Happy

@ magickmark Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

Coffee went everywhere when I read this "In quantum parlance, the "wave function" of the particle is said to "collapse" into a specific state (or flask) due to the act of observing. Incidentally, this is why cats resent people staring at them: the constant collapse of their wave function is a strain on their delicate senses". Worthy of Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams.

WAY too much honour, you are making me blush

I might have a spare keyboard somewhere that I could send you

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Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

Excellent paper, another thumbs up from me.

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Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

You can say what you like about homeopaths, but you never hear of one complaining about a low sperm count.

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Joke

Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

Best argument to use with Homeopaths:

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2267

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Anonymous Coward

Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

This is nothing but over reacting. In addition to dead animals, I wonder how many animals have pissed in the water. Or for that matter, how many people have pissed in the water since that water was first created.

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Re: No way near Homeopathic standards. @Michael H.F. Wilkinson

A bit late, but let me add my plaudits for your paper. The humour is marvellous, and your conclusion that homeopathic practitioners must never observe their patients by moving city or, better yet, committing suicide, is wonderful.

Oh - the ability of cats to end up where they couldn't possibly be has been proven in my houses for years. One feline quantum particle, blind and brain damaged, could be found upstairs when, mere moments before, he was on the settee next to me - and had not passed me on the stairs. Another, not quite so adept, could move without being seen, but could be heard. We had had a little song about him:

You can hear him,

But you can't see him,

Clio is the invisible cat ...

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Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

All this talk of diluted piss rather reminds me of the consistency of American beer...

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Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

American beer is like making love to a beautiful woman in a canoe...

both f***ing close to water.

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Re: Feline quantum particles

Whew, I'm sure glad I'm not the only one whose cat seems to know where all the space-time wrinkles are in the house... and our Minnie, being strictly an indoor cat, has had the better part of a decade to find all the "wrinkles" in our house. I honestly didn't know we had that many.

Still, she does that stupid bit where she crawls under the sofas to sleep and acts as if we can't see her even though she leaves her tail sticking out. Little stinker.

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Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

Major brands of commercially mass-produced American beer are like making love to a beautiful woman in a canoe...

There, fixed it for you. (;^> ...but, yeah, you're pretty much right -- and I'm an American.

May I suggest Dogfish Head 60-Minute IPA...?

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Urine is sterile

Urine is sterile, and quite safe to drink... But who ever lets science get in the way of a gut feeling, anyway.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Urine is sterile

"Gut" feeling? This is getting bladder by the minute !

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Re: Urine is sterile

Urine is sterile, and quite safe to drink

Only when it's inside you. If it passes through an infected urethra it will contain bacteria on exit. That's why they take urine samples to test for some infections.

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Re: Urine is sterile

Certainly a darn sight safer than a decomposing animal carcus anyway.

Besides, unless it's a hermetically sealed reservoir, I'd bet there are all manner of birds taking dumps in there quite regularly.

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Re birds taking dumps

Never mind the birds but all those water creatures who procreate and defecate in that water! Ugh

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Re: Urine is sterile

Potassium Cyanide can also be 'sterile' , but by your reasoning it would also be safe to 'drink'

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Re: Urine is sterile

"Only when it's inside you. If it passes through an infected urethra it will contain bacteria on exit. That's why they take urine samples to test for some infections."

I wonder if he'll be the first guy to be charged with carrying an STD with intent...

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Re: Urine is sterile

Given the choice between drinking piss or drinking water that has been home to the corpse of a rabies infected raccoon I think I would go with Bear Grylls on this one ........ and stay in a resort hotel that supplies bottled water :D

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Re: Urine is sterile

Well not the fuckwit merkins for a start.

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Re: Urine is sterile

"... and stay in a resort hotel that supplies bottled water"

And the bottled water came from WHERE originally...?

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Re: Re birds taking dumps

"Never mind the birds but all those water creatures who procreate and defecate in that water! Ugh"

That is why I only drink alcohol! When offered water I say:

"Nahh fish fsck in it!"

Filtering it through a filter made of a sock, carbon from the fire and then boiling it helps but as you throw it away and reach for the alcohol you realise the futility of such measures.

I have often drunk piss on courses and funnily enough it is best to drink someone else's rather than your own, but hopefully from a physical container rather than direct from the source.

It is also good for skin infections, chapped and frozen hands, psoriasis etc. Salt content innit <sic>.

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Re: Urine is sterile

"And the bottled water came from WHERE originally...?"

The cold tap inside the coke bottling plant if the papers are to be believed.

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Re: Urine is sterile

Potassium Cyanide can also be 'sterile' , but by your reasoning it would also be safe to 'drink'

Diluted to the extent that's being considered here, it would be.

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Re: Re birds taking dumps

I have often drunk piss on courses

WHAT!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Urine is sterile

> Diluted to the extent that's being considered here, it would be.

Thanks, Yoda.

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Happy

Re: Urine is sterile

"And the bottled water came from WHERE originally...?"

I'll have you know that the water has been passed by Mr Grylls personally!

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Re: Urine is sterile

From Peckham Spring, surely?

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Re: Urine is sterile

A tap in Pekham (Mandela House if I remember correctly)

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MJI
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Re: Peckham Spring

Didn't Coca Cola try selling it?

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Re: Peckham Spring

"Didn't Coca Cola try selling it?"

Sure, but only the Americans were gullible enough to buy it. It's called Dasani.

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Re: Urine is sterile

And in all probability many of those animal corpses were of creatures that have bladders and so probably also contained some urine. Also faeces.

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So the US is now the land of the wee?

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Nope

Scotland is the land of the wee frees.

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Re: Nope

And Ryanair wants, or at least wanted, to be the land of no free wees.

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Re: Nope

"And Ryanair wants, or at least wanted, to be the land of no free wees."

And the home of the knave.

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Re: Nope

Crivens!!!

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...and home of the knave.

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