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back to article Star Wars Episode VII: The Ancient Fear of, er, a CHEESE-TASTIC title?

The seventh instalment of the Star Wars movie franchise will be named “The Ancient Fear”, whisper anonymous sources, while more rumours gather over the final cast list for JJ Abrams' latest feature. Writer, director and producer JJ Abrams (top centre right) at the cast read-through of Star Wars Episode VII at Pinewood Studios …

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Please no, not Zac Efron or any other largely talentless Disney "child star or teen-idol". And no ****ing time travel either - although I'll accept that there's a chance that an actor like Zac Efron might not ruin the film totally, adding time travel to it will.

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Disney own Star Wars now, it's their bitch. And as it's their bitch they will, unfortunately, do what they like with it. So queue all the child stars from their other films appearing in this.

Not totally sure time travel would ruin Star Wars. But, you know, it could be worse.

Ja Ja Binks could make a return, and no one wants that.

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@ Nick RE: Efron

Obviously you've not seen him in recent titles where his character has actually got a proper brief rather than make the girlies squeal. Most stuff he's done in past 2 or 3 years where he is clearly trying to move away from this type-casting have been great. Watch 'The Paperboy' he's pretty damn good in that, and I for one am looking forward to seeing what he can do in Starwars!

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Anonymous Coward

"Ja Ja Binks could make a return, and no one wants that."

Miley Cyrus as Re Re Binks, Jar Jar's great grandspawn.

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That obviously depends if JJ's overuse of lensflare manages to burn his stalky little retinas out.

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Mushroom

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

"Episode VII: Ja Ja Binks, The Musical."

It would fit the Disney ethos perfectly, and open up a whole new audience. Perfect!

GJC

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Not Red Harvest then?

No obfuscating working title?

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Happy

Red October

Standing by.

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Joke

Simply Red

Standing By

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can't wait to see Jar Jar Binks again. That crazy fool.

:-)

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@Seanie Ryan

No! I know you were joking, but No! Just No!

(Or for those of you that hate George Lucas and his blu-ray transfers, Nooooooooooo!)

As a side note, am I the only one thinking the film title should be 'Star Wars Episode 6 1/2: The Smell of Fear'...

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Re: @Seanie Ryan

As a side note, am I the only one thinking the film title should be 'Star Wars Episode 6 1/2: The Smell of Fear'...

It should be "Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money"

...perhaps followed by "Spaceballs 3: The Search for Spaceballs 2"

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Anonymous Coward

My worst fear about the new SW movie

I want to go and see it and be surprised (and hopefully enjoy it!), but because of all the anticipation it's going to be discussed, dissected, leaked, pulled apart, trailed, marketed, and interviewed to death long before I finally get in front of a cinema screen to watch it.

I need to find a way to AVOID all the coming hype for the next couple of years until it's released!

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Re: My worst fear about the new SW movie

You are off to a very, vary bad start.

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Joke

Re: My worst fear about the new SW movie

...a way to AVOID all the coming hype for the next couple of years...

Taking up a pizza delivery job might help. As long as you don't mind the cold, that is...

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Re: My worst fear about the new SW movie

> it's going to be discussed, dissected, leaked, pulled apart, trailed, marketed, and interviewed to death

I liked Peter Jackson's sense of humour - during one of his 'Making of The Hobbit' video diaries, he opens a desk draw to reach for something, revealing a folder marked 'Star Wars Episode VII script'. Most internet pudits assumed it was a wind-up!

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Re: My worst fear about the new SW movie

I need to find a way to AVOID all the coming hype for the next couple of years until it's released!

That's not as hard as it seems. I've managed to shield myself very effectively from goss, hype, viral marketing and and even advertising for many years now. I've been able to watch Game of Thrones, for example, without falling victim to the spoiler trolls (well, I did get spoiled for the Season 1 shocker but that taught me to avoid all online discussions of the show thereafter.)

Here's how you do it in 5 simple steps:

1. If you have TV reception in your house, get rid of it. No TV. Ever. No matter what. Even if Vladimir Putin declares war on the whole of Europe and is about to nuke all England to ash - you don't watch TV. Same goes for radio reception - if you have a radio in your house, get rid of it. (If Putin decides to nuke England, you're better off dead anyway!)

2. To keep in touch with he world and keep up with the news, set a few news sites of your choice on your browser's home tabs. Then you can pick and choose what news you want to be exposed to. (This way if Putin decides to nuke England you can still read about it online while avoiding any articles about Star Wars!)

3. Download or stream whatever shows or movies you want to watch. If you look around, you can watch those shows without any adverts and at a time of your choosing. Same with any music you like listening to - you don't need to get it from the radio.

4. If you haven't already, install the AdBlock Plus addon into your browser. This will shield you effectively from most internet advertising.

5. Stay out of any forums, blogs, fansites, articles or social media pages relating to Star Wars (or anything else you want to shield yourself from. I avoid Game of Thrones sites for this reason.) If you really need to discuss it, pick just one forum (like this one!) and confine your explorations of Star Wars to it.

If you follow these steps, you'll be surprised at how well you can shield yourself from the hype!

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Re: My worst fear about the new SW movie

This certainly seems worth becoming a hermit for. Thanks!

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Caption correction

....(clockwise from right) R2-D2, Harrison Ford,....... there FTFY

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After the phantom menace, never again for me..

As title - I'll wait 3 months for the blu-ray

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Re: After the phantom menace, never again for me..

Seriously? Rather than spending a tenner to see it at a cinema and get it over with, you'll spend three times that to get it in a format that requires you to give it shelf space thereafter, no matter how gruesome it is?

Oh well, de gustibus non est disputandum and all that...

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Anonymous Coward

@ veti

Maybe he meant "As title - I'll wait 3 months for the blu-ray torrent!"

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Re: £30 for a blu-ray?

maybe for the 'special limited directors second extra theatrical cut' but that will add another couple of months to the release date

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Re: After the phantom menace, never again for me..

It's worth it so I can scream "THIS IS ABSOLUTE SHITE" at the top of my voice halfway through, and then phone all my friends, okay friend, and slag it off.

Last time I did this at the flicks they took a rather dim view of things...

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The Ancient Fear isn't that bad

Particularly if the final release becomes known as "The Disney Disaster".

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Anonymous Coward

Carl Adolf Zydow as a villain?

That's almost a clichè.

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One word missing

In all the titles I've seen hinted at, I have not seen one mention of the word "Order"

SW aficionados will know what I'm getting at.

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Can we have a little sanity here?

There's nothing worse that hearing all about a film before it gets released. Movie critics who get special advance screenings (and free popcorn, snacks, and goody bags of swag) really tick me off when they release their reviews days before the film even opens. Here's a novel concept; How about you let me make up my own mind. Films the critics initially hated (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Predator, Happy Gilmore, and many more) went on to make billions in box office.

All this speculation (this article only cites anonymous sources which could be the same twisted bloke with two email accounts) accomplishes nothing. Let them make the film (And all the others in the pipe - Avengers 2, for example) then let us see it and make up our own mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTc4zI_7-Ms

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Re: Can we have a little sanity here?

You know, it is possible to not read every article that appears on a news site, paper, or blog etc.

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Re: Can we have a little sanity here?

>really tick me off when they release their reviews days before the film even opens.

Er, isn't it the reviewer's job to give an idea of whether a film is worth spending £10 and 2 hours on watching?

Simply, there are not enough hours in the day for me to 'make up my own mind' about every film that is made from around the world.

Generally, films that are withheld from critics by the studios before general release are dreadful.

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Dunno why so many peeps dismiss Disney. They've done a stirling job on the Marvel franchise since they took over and the news that characters from the new animated series Star Wars: Rebels will be tying in with Episode VII just made me nerdgasm as much as Season 6 of Clone Wars.

Yeah, it's for kids and I'm a big old 45 year old one.

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Indeed - some of their recent animations have been very good - Tangled, Frozen (not as good as Tangled). And some other films that are pretty good.

On the other hand, Mars Needs Moms.

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Anonymous Coward

Past of future history

Nothing can be worse than the title of the new X-Men movie...

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jai
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Re: Past of future history

Days of Future Past? But why is it so bad? the plot for the film comes from the story arc in the comics that had that same title. so the title for the film seems rather apt, telling you exactly which plotline from the comic it is adapting to the film.

and considering the plot is all about the people in the future going back into the past to fix the errors made there and so save everyone from persecution in the future, it's not too bad. it's much along the lines of Back to the Future, as a grammatically convoluted title goes.

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Re: Past of future history

I could not agree more. I know it's comic book cannon, but the name is still awful.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Past of future history

Days of Future Past? Wasn't that an album by The Thompson Twins??

Think I'll be giving that one a swerve then...

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Re: Past of future history

Moody Blues...

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Happy

Re: Past of future history

X-men in white satin. Different.

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TRT
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In the theme of other fantasy films...

The Neverending Franchise?

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Anonymous Coward

Snore...

Move over and make way for new stories / films... Same goes for the remake of "Point Break"...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Snore...

...and 'Lethal Weapon'

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Luke SkyMobilityScooter

and Han Slowly doesn't appeal somehow.

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Re: Luke SkyMobilityScooter

I'd agree about Luke but, if anything, Han Solo should simply get more roguish with age. How can that be a bad thing?

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Re: Luke SkyMobilityScooter

Not sure why the desire to bring back the oldies. To paraphrase Peter Griffin - "Hi, I'm Han Solo, Captain of the Millennium Falcon and the only actor whose career isn't destroyed by this movie."

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Ahhh that makes sense...

The ancient... George Lucas. The fear... that he will direct it.

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Bah!

That's "Puppeteen"!

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Re: Bah!

Sorry even on here a pun that bad deserves a downvote

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Re: Downvote.

So, not a Darths and Droids fan then?

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Saying Disney will ruin Star Wars

Is like saying another iceberg is going to dive down to hit the Titanic.

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