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back to article Honeybee boffin STINGS OWN WEDDING TACKLE... for SCIENCE

A Cornell student has researched just how much pain bee stings create by putting the buzzing creatures down his pants and, um, holding them there. Michael Smith's work can be found in this PeerJ paper, which explains how his methodology as follows: “Bees were taken from the cage haphazardly with forceps. To apply the sting, …

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So he slaughtered bees in the pursuit of... a pain metric, for what, to prove the folly of bees? How many beers did he drink and who dared him because monkeys are smarter than this?

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JC_
Pint

Oddly enough, doing this does add to science. We already have the Schmidt sting pain index which rates different insect stings by painfulness; the bullet ant resulting in a 4 and "quivering and screaming from these peristaltic waves of pain".

This is adding a second dimension of where the sting is most painful. If he takes a bullet ant sting to the balls in the name of science, I'll buy him a beer.

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Pretty sure Schmidt also says his own results aren't that useful. The numbers are more or less plucked out of the air.

Closer to an episode of Jackass IMO.

Just because it happens in a lab don't make it science!

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If he wants a pain index, why not just stab a compass into his nads instead of killing wildlife?

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Anonymous Coward

If he takes a bullet ant sting to the balls in the name of science, I'll buy him a beer.

I suspect you'll have to wait until he stops screaming, though. Would be a shame to spill the beer..

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"If he takes a bullet ant sting to the balls in the name of science, I'll buy him a beer."

I'll buy him a room at the mental hospital. For after he recovers enough to be released from the emergency department.

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He would probably prefer if your bought him and ice pack lol

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Sequence matters as well.

You tend to smart the worst from the last place you were stung. Oh, and the penis is very sensitive in some places and not so sensitive in others. A sting on the glans would no doubt be much more painful that a sting on the backside of the shaft.

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Pint

Ignoble Award

He really wants to win one!

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"he doesn't think his data is particularly useful"

No shit.

The wife & I never wear "protective clothing" when harvesting honey & wax. No need.

Leaves from smouldering Eucalypt treesweeds give the bees something more important to worry about. Dried corn (maize) foliage also works in a pinch.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "he doesn't think his data is particularly useful"

...

382. Bee Keeping

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Paris Hilton

Re: "he doesn't think his data is particularly useful"

Well he obviously needs a female subject to complete his data set, but I'm guessing there aren't any women out there who are that stupid.

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Joke

Re: "he doesn't think his data is particularly useful"

"The wife & I never wear "protective clothing" when harvesting honey & wax. No need"

Do you wear "protective clothing" when you give her a wax?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "he doesn't think his data is particularly useful"

Do you wear "protective clothing" when you give her a wax?

I guess it's either that, or asking permission..

I'll go and hide now...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "he doesn't think his data is particularly useful"

jake's an expert beekeeper?

Who'd have ever imagined that.......

Oh wait.....

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@ambiguous Coward[0] Re: "he doesn't think his data is particularly useful"

Only 382, Coward?

Shirly you should use your singular ability to delve deeper into ElReg's archives. I'm almost certain I can do more than 382 things well.

Yourself? I dunno. You're a Coward who refuses to have anything resembling a face

::chuckles::

[0] Seriously, ElReg, that time stamp is kinda handy.

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@ southpacificpom (was: Re: "he doesn't think his data is particularly useful")

No need. She shaves. Not necessarily my choice, but she came that way. I don't tell her what to do, she doesn't tell me what to do. All is well at chez wifey-poo.

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@ambiguous Coward[1] (was:Re: "he doesn't think his data is particularly useful")

Where did I say I was an "expert beekeeper", Coward?

My family has been farming here in Northern California since the late 1870s. We have been keeping bees most of that time. Keeping pollinators around is kinda handy when you grow almost all of your own veg.

Doesn't make me an expert, I'm just a farmer.

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Headmaster

Re: Only 382 ... ?

According to the following link, Jake has posted nearly 6400 times.

Assuming at least one "boast per post" 382 skills is a criminal underestimate

of his preternatural prowess.

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/user/4800/

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@mahasamatman (was: Re: Only 382 ... ?)

According to http://forums.theregister.co.uk/user/66387/

"mahasamatman" has made a total of ten posts, starting with this post 7+ months ago:

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/1945049

It seems it misses Eadon. Poor thing.

How about actually contributing to the forum, "mahasamatman"? If you have anything to contribute, that is. However, so far I see nothing in evidence that suggests that you contribute anything other than noise. Prove me wrong; it'll do you a world of good. If you are incapable ... well, what can I say.

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Re: @mahasamatman (was: Only 382 ... ?)

jake asking for proof - now isn't that rich.

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I had to look at the calender...

Just a quick double-check on the date. Nope wasn't an April Fool setup. Either beer or desperation for a half-way decent grade? Maybe both?

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He doesn't think his data is particularly useful...

...but he killed 75 bees for that. Where's the someone think of the bees icon?

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Paris Hilton

Re: He doesn't think his data is particularly useful...

Who gives a shit about a bee icon, here have a Paris one.

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Devil

Bees are no challenge

I dare him to use Japanese giant hornets next time. Or perhaps bullet ants.

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Honey Bees

Are threatened world wide, by insecticides and I think in the States by a mystery virus and this guy is killing them off for dubious data?

I don't think he was in it for the science, probably has a gimp suit in his wardrobe!

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Re: Honey Bees

"I don't think he was in it for the science, probably has a gimp suit in his wardrobe!"

Seems more like a Photoshop guy to me.

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Anonymous Coward

Dr?

Can you take away the pain but leave the swelling?

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Re: Dr?

Oi!

Bignose!

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Did it double his manhood in size?

Is this a new El Reg Metric, the Bee Sting Pain Scale?

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Re: Did it double his manhood in size?

No but have an upvote for not mentioning Mylie Cyrus.

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Re: Did it double his manhood in size?

I too was wondering if there was any swelling.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Did it double his manhood in size?

Yep. This 7.3 was inches.

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Paris Hilton

Beekeeping 101

Page 1

To remain safe and comply with Health and Safety act, keep bees away from your gonads.

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Anonymous Coward

The film "Scandal"

had a scene at some S&M orgy where a character was walking around with a jar of bees cupped over his scrotum.

In this case, you really don't have to wonder why I posted AC ...

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Pain is strongly influenced by expectations. One would expect to find a penis sting more painful than a sting to the upper arm, but how can the effect of these expectations be accounted for?

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Coat

I've got my own research project

This inspires me. I'm going to do my own research project, on the variance in pain of various animal bites. So I'm thinking of testing the pain levels from the following:

Badgers on nadgers

Dogs on bollocks

Squirrels on nuts

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Happy

Re: I've got my own research project

I ain't Spartacus, do you already have children or are you after a Darwin Award?

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Re: I've got my own research project

Who said he was going to use his own bollocks?

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Trollface

Re: I've got my own research project

Simon Harris,

Using not his own I'd consider cheating.

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Happy

Re: I've got my own research project

Evil Auditor,

Cheating? Well maybe. But as Simon Harris has so handily volunteered, it would be a shame to waste his offer.

We'll sit him down in front of that 70s classic movie Volerball. Have a ferret through his trousers, and then start things off nice and weaselly. Moving up through the sizes, and see how much he can bear.

[I think I'm missing I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue...]

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Unhappy

Re: I've got my own research project

"and see how much he can bear."

Ouch...

I really hope you're not going to work all the way up to a bear!

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Happy

Re: I've got my own research project

I'm not panda-ing to anyone, just because they want an easy ride...

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Happy

Re: I've got my own research project

Upvoted for the koala-ty of your pun!

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Anonymous Coward

and?

not really sure what has been gained from this study, its one of those classic studying the bleedy obvious! Even someone who knows sod all about bee stings could have had a pretty good guess as to the pain thresholds of various parts of the body. I heard the bloke interviewed on Radio 5 and he said he was hoping that the study would help pain research. What showing that your forearm or head isn’t as sensitive as you’re old chap or the inside of your nose. What a revelation!

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Did he have an assistant standing by to suck out the poison after he evaluated the level of pain?

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As a beekeeper...

I call bollocks

Some bee stings are more painful than others on a bee-by-bee basis, not just on where you get stung.

Some cause more swelling than others, again on a bee-by-bee basis.

Even bees from the same hive (where at least the queen is the same, though dad might be different) the sting will vary.

So to be a scientist, this bloke needs to prick his todger a few more times to make sure his data is not just a one-off abberation. At least 10 or so samples will make a crude bell curve.

BTW: Forceps to get out a beesting is a daft idea. Use a knife or even a fingernail. The forceps squeeze in more poison.

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Re: As a beekeeper...

Careful, Mr. Manning.

Admitting to being a beekeeper will get you downvotes ;-)

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Stop

Not a boffin.

Can we please not call Michael Smith a boffin? By his own admission this so-called research is basically useless crap. We reserve the honorific 'boffin' for real scientists doing properly clever science.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Not a boffin.

We reserve the honorific 'boffin' for real scientists doing properly clever science.

I guess they really meant "buffoon" :)

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