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back to article Apple to protect your gently roasting rear with 'iTanning' system

Apple's new iWatch will come fitted with an ultraviolet light detector to stop fanbois and fangurlz from scorching themselves in the hot summer sunshine, an analyst has predicted. Blayne Curtis, a chip analyst with Barclays, was quoted by a Barrons' blogger as saying the UV sensor would be installed to help health-conscious …

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TRT
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Red Dwarf was right...

Talkie Toaster (tm).

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It would be great if this made its way into a product. First thing apple have made since the original mini that's made me think about buying something from them.

Only downside I can see is if it gives a false sense of security. It would probably need to be water (and sunscreen) proof too.

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it gives a false sense of security

The lawyers are rubbing their hands in delight at the thought of all the lawsuits.

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Devil

Oh dear

I am badly burned on my face etc because it didn't tell me to put blocker on.

Surely as its an iWatch it knows its under a glove whilst I am skiing........

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Anonymous Coward

Can't see this being that much use in situations where it is actually needed.

One of the first things I, and most people do, when on the beach is remove my watch to avoid that annoying tan line it gives you.

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Re: Can't see this being that much use in situations where it is actually needed.

Put on plenty of sunscreen and that won't be a problem.

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Re: Can't see this being that much use in situations where it is actually needed.

Of course they do! And what about the heat? Leave it on in the sun and you'll be peeling a strip of you off with it!

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Re: Can't see this being that much use in situations where it is actually needed.

How many people put "plenty of sunscreen" on while wearing a watch, unless perhaps they've got on some $20 throwaway?

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Re: Can't see this being that much use in situations where it is actually needed.

You beat me to it.

The watch will be no good when you're wearing long sleeves, but will be able to warn you when you're about to get a nice white watch-line.

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Re: Can't see this being that much use in situations where it is actually needed.

you put the sunscreen on and then put the watch back on.

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I predict that this sensor will be very useful, and will tell us exactly when the iWatch is due to be released. When it stops receiving all UV data, because hell has frozen over, then-and-only-then will Apple sell a watch.

I suspect they'll be selling a 32K, curved, OLEP, 3d, 100" diamond-encrusted telly first...

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TRT
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That fits on your wrist?

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>That fits on your wrist?

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from Apple marketing.

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Meh

Meh....

...I was printing watches* that told you the risk of sunburn 20 years ago, along with stickers that did the same. Needless to say, most were shipped to South Africa and Australia, not much demand in the UK.

*By watches, they were coated PVC wrist straps in the shape of a watch to stop you getting a weird tan line. And no, they couldn't tell the time.

Looks like they still make them.

http://www.ips-italy.com/uv-ray-intensity-detectors/sun-card-uv-ray-intensity-detectors.htm

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Coat

Problem is though...

...any iWatch will only give you the current time in Cupertino, CA...as that is the only time Steve says you need to know.

Mine's the one with the Omega Speedmaster Professional in the pocket.

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I thought...

that all the fanboi's were the same pasty white color as their iProducts and never actually saw the iSun. was iWrong?

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Anonymous Coward

I hope

Will it tell you when you're not getting enough UV to stimulate your skin to make vitamin D? All this paranoi about UV is leading to an increase in rickets.

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Joke

Meanwhile at Samsung R&D HQ

teams of developers are frantically working on copying the same functionality for the forthcoming S6.

Joking apart, sometimes I do wonder if sometimes some leaks (not only from Apple) are deliberately put out there to mislead the competition. Will there even be an iWatch? It would be ironic if there wasn't one in the pipeline.

Before you downvote this see the icon.

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A bit niche...

Since only vampires and gingers will be interested.

Basically this thing will tell you what day it is and that it is in fact day time. As im not a fanbois I dont struggle with either of these variables.

I want an accelerometer in the iWatch. That way I can write an app that counts the number of times you fist bump in a day to make calculating how much of a twat you are that much easier.

Id like to call it the Gangstulator.

The middle class gangsters from the ghetto of surrey will love it.

I could add a ranking system as well. E.g. 50 fist bumps in 24 hours makes you a level 10 pimp. So when they congregate at Cafe Rouge for a hard night on Irish Coffee, Sherry and Moules (you know the real underground shit) they can settle their disputes over bluetooth. Cafe Rouge is just an example, could also be Nandos or Strada. Or ifbthey are from a particularly tough Berkshire ghetto...Pizza Express.

Also they will know to whom the Monte Cristo should be passed to next.

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Re: A bit niche...

Perhaps the accelerometer could also be used with an app to indicate when to desist from excessive wrist movement leading to RSI or visual impairment.

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Re: A bit niche...

It's already clear to me that 1st gen smart watch wearers are probably wankers.

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Devil

Re: A bit niche...

Remind me not to get one.

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Re: A bit niche...

Chris G, genius. However id be inclined to go the other way and measure the extremes.

How about something that calculates how many G of force a fapper might be achieving and the number of reps. Im seeing online leader boards and a possible international sporting event here. The various data farming agencies out there could use the collected data to combat terrorism as im sure theres a link (albeit probably very weak) between how radical someone is and how hard they fap.

Imagine the pub talk...

Derek: I see you managed 0.1G last night Jeremy. Well done. How did you manage it?

Jeremy: Hard work, strong grumble and lots of spare time.

Derek: Wow. Ive booked 2 weeks off work and blown the dust off Animal Farm. I will destroy your rating.

Unfortunately there is already an application called Fap Turbo (its not what you think SFW http://fapturbo2.com/). So im stuck for names.

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Really?

A UV sensor would be very useful to the people of Essex as they embark on the quest for the perfect deep orange tan

One question: Exactly how does a UV sensor discern the colour that a tin of spray on tan will dry to?

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