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back to article Tesla cars can now 'do an ET' without hurting anyone's bottom line

Electric car firm Tesla's products are almost as talkative as the company's CEO. They constantly ET* to allow the company to check that the battery is in tip-top condition, the car isn’t being driven badly or that the owner isn’t thinking negative thoughts about Tesla. The company can collect a huge amount of data, although CEO …

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Bronze badge

Not ET but Rolls Royce Trent

Phone home? Is it ETs Birthday or something?

Its more like live telemetry no?

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Happy

If the cars are chatty ..

do they also make chatty doors? You know, for Elon's spaceship? The ones that you can tell are about to open by the intolerable air of smugness they suddenly generate?

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Re: If the cars are chatty ..

do they also make chatty doors? You know, for Elon's spaceship? The ones that you can tell are about to open by the intolerable air of smugness they suddenly generate?

Nah. You get those from Sirius Cybernetics.

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Happy

'I can tell, you know how I can tell? 'Cos we’re connected'

Nice Iron man reference...

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Re: 'I can tell, you know how I can tell? 'Cos we’re connected'

Congratulations. I hoped someone would notice. You made my day.

Simon.

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Anonymous Coward

Oh noes...

This should piss off a lot of people when they find out that Elon is watching them.

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Re: Oh noes...

>This should piss off a lot of people when they find out that Elon is watching them.

Eh?

CEO Elon Musk says: “Tesla data logging is only turned on with explicit written permission from customers, but after Top Gear BS, we always keep it on for media.”

I won't lose any sleep if I learn that somebody has pissed Jeremy Clarkson off.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Oh noes...

Somebody has always pissed Jeremy Clarkson off.

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Re: Oh noes...

Clarkson always has his knickers in a bunch over some one, or some thing.

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"...off and on again"

CORRECTION:

I won't lose any sleep if I learn that somebody has pissed off/on Jeremy Clarkson.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "...off and on again"

I won't either but then neither will I lose any sleep over someone pissing Tesla off. Trying to sling mud at Top Gear just makes it look more and more like they're telling the truth.

Tesla have already pissed me off by trying to imply that internal combustion engined cars are all about to catch on fire when according to the local fire brigade they haven't seen a case of a car catching on fire without someone setting light to it for many many years.

In thirty tears of driving I've never seen a car catch on fire unless someone did it deliberately. I even drove a borrowed car which had a faulty injector spraying petrol onto the hot engine... still no fire.

Then we've got the claims they made that normal cars don't work well in the cold so we shouldn't get upset when theirs don't either. Obvious rubbish (unless we're talking about very short journeys) cold air is denser and so makes a bigger bang so they are in fact more efficient once up to temperature. OK, in reality I don't see much difference between my summer and winter fuel consumption due to the occasional short journey, running the lights more in winter and AC in summer etc. However, the point is that my diesel car has much the same range all year round and even if it does take a dip the range is so large and refill is so quick that it doesn't matter

There, got that off my chest :-)

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Re: "...off and on again"

Well, I can personally recall seeing 3 cars with engine fires. But IMHO that was mainly because where I used to live, people tended to treat their cars like shit and drove them into the ground. Haven't seen one since I moved to the UK.

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Bond, James Bond ??

As telefonica are providing the data link does this mean anyone with an O2 phone can drive their Tesla remotely as James bond does with his BMW? :-)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bond, James Bond ??

It's the only thing I can think of that would persuade me to switch to O2. Mind you, it would be a very good reason.

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We're from Homeland Security, got a simple question.

We just wanted to know why you needed those deeper charges on the way back from Mexico until just after you got to your house. The Tesla techs said it looks like you quickly gained and lost 200 kilos. And that you should adjust the tire pressures.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: We're from Homeland Security, got a simple question.

...and why you put worn-out tires, crossed the border, and put new ones on the way back...?

ops, sorry, that's a Paraguay-Brazil in-joke. Brazilian tires are over-taxed, while in Paraguay they are not. But you can't just slap 4 brand-new tires on the trunk and expect they won't be taxed when crossing the border. So you "goldfinger" them across the border, which is perfectly legal.

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Anonymous Coward

The bit that bothers me...

is this: "Telefonica and its M2M World Alliance partners will provide connectivity for Model S across multiple countries in Europe"

Meanwhile, if I want data access outside my SIM's home country, I get utterly and thoroughly shafted. :(

Perhaps I should just buy a Tesla and use its built-in WLAN access point. Will work out cheaper and I get a free car with the deal.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: The bit that bothers me...

Yeah but the battery life is still not as good as a Droid RAZR Maxx.

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Anonymous Coward

Elon strikes again

I doubt many consumers want to be tracked by Tesla.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Elon strikes again

Hence “Tesla data logging is only turned on with explicit written permission from customers..."

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FTFY

"... explicit written permission from customers or NSA/GCHQ"

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Re: FTFY

Exactly, it's a US company and the US government can make them get the data and then stop Tesla telling you. Or they can simply hack in and get it without telling anyone.

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Re: Elon strikes again

Hence “Tesla data logging is only turned on with explicit written permission from customers..."......

At this point in time however:

"In our new partnership with <insert social media company> the T&C's have changed and it is now on by default. You have 30 days to accept these or you must stop driving your car. If you do not stop driving the car you are agreeing to these new terms and conditions, a full list (32,000 lines of text) of which can be found at the broken link <HERE>"

No joke icon...it will happen.

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Gold badge
Coat

So whatever the model just call it the Tesla

Snitchmobile.

At least LoJak tracks stolen cars for the benefit of the owners.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So whatever the model just call it the Tesla

Hence “Tesla data logging is only turned on with explicit written permission from customers...".

Who knows, there might be advantages to the customer if the company that makes their car has more information about its use 'in the field'. It is up to the customer, no?

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fpx

Written Permission

Re: "Tesla data logging is only turned on with explicit written permission from customers."

Probably just like any EULA: Please sign here to receive your keys.

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Re: Written Permission

Public and private keys.... ?

And do you need both to unencrypt your dash?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Written Permission

For some people, manual transmission, and cars in general, are impossible to decrypt, keys or no keys.

Usually accompanied by the questions "What is that 3rd pedal for?", "But, how do you tell the engine is overheating?" and my favorite, I shit you not, I heard this before: "Oil? For the engine? what do you mean?", but the one that takes the cake, runs with it, and eats it, and you can hear every human being and a couple of chimps in two zipcodes range just /facepalming, was: "It just stopped working. What do you mean, I have to put gasoline in it?"

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Facepalm

Re: Written Permission

It just stopped working. What do you mean, I have to put gasoline in it?

You mean, you are stating that in all seriousness, someone actually uttered that in a completely unironic manner?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Written Permission

Yes. I'm the poster of the original quote, and yes, I heard that. Sorry it took me so long to track my own post, being anonymous and all.

And yes, a few ear-bleeds, removal of glasses in disbelief, and palms meeting hands happened immediately after.

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