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back to article Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

Lego has changed, according to a Polish priest, who has warned that newer sets of the popular Danish toy are actually tools of Satan that can destroy children's souls. Lego Monster Fighters Lord Vampyre The sweet yellow bricks of yesteryear are no more, apparently, now that Lego has started producing series of minifigs like …

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I'm guessing the only reasons he's on about it is that the fucker stepped on one while going to the loo in the middle of night. In those cases, yeah, Lego is the work the devil. Or, in the contest of "small things giving much pain", at least Australian.

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Aren´t Monster Fighters discontinued since two years?

I´ll have to check the brickipedia, can´t remember, never was much into them.

I´m busy building spaceships, spaceships, SPACESHIPS!

Greetings

Benny

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"stepped on one while going to the loo"

Due to his pledge of chastity he should surely be in a reasonably Lego-free house.

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Anonymous Coward

Wonder what he makes of Good Cop Bad Cop?

Still he may have a point, my son keeps wanting to get the bad guys rather than the good guys.

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Your son has good taste. I always root for the bad guy, and I'm waiting for a game where I get to play the villain rather than the hero. I don't wanna be a pokémon master, I want to take over the world darn it.

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Didn't KotOR allow you to play the baddies?

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re: waiting for a game where I get to play the villain

Did you miss Evil Genius?

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Trollface

"Due to his pledge of chastity..."

"... he should surely be in a reasonably Lego-free house"

That, and shouldn't altar boys be old enough to have outgrown Legos?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: old enough to have outgrown Lego

You are never to old to play with Lego.

It is important to grow up, but you shouldn't let that ruin your life.

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Re: "Due to his pledge of chastity..."

When you've outgrown Lego, you've outgrown life.

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In the dark, bare feet

At least he isn't in UK. Is the UK mains plug the most evil thing to tread on in the dark at home?

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Re: In the dark, bare feet

Either that or the edge of a door.

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Happy

Re: In the dark, bare feet

As a teen, I developed my own film. Working in the darkroom is a super way to learn obstacle-avoidance skills which have served me well throughout my life.

Mostly. The downside is that the extra confidence causes me to move decisively, rather than tentatively, and the few toe/obstacle collisions that do occur are consequently at high speed.

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Re; "Due to his pledge of chastity..."

Surely there's a one word explanation... choirboys.

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Coat

Pledge of chastity, choirboys...

...explains how he's still getting his Lego-ver.

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Seems like goodies vs baddies to me. May actually improve child's sense of right and wrong.

Won't do much for their English literature though. That dark character is a mash up of Dracula, Batfiink and darth Vader.

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Didn't KotOR allow you to play the baddies?

No not unless they changed it after the first Game. Having played the first Game you'd be given Story driven choices that either pushed you to be a super white Jedi, or fall back on being very dark Sith Lord that manages to rule the entire Galaxy again....

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Re: "Due to his pledge of chastity..."

When you've outgrown Lego, you've outgrown life.

Reminds me of the line: "When you are tired of Ursa Minor Beta you are tired of life." the suicide rate quadrupled overnight.

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Sir, one does not need children to purchase Lego!

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Re: In the dark, bare feet

I was going to say that. Been living in Canada for nearly 10 years and I still shudder at the thought of stepping on UK plugs ...

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I guess it's official

A university study (who the hell pays for this crap) and a Catholic priest are bad-mouthing Lego.

On the bright side, it wasn't Playmobile or it would be certain that when LOHAN takes off, every country would have an interceptor ready to shoot it down lest it infect the countryside.

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Devil

Re: I guess it's official

After all the shit that catholic priests and nuns have been up to for the last X number of years I think they are probably very highly qualified to judge whether something is evil or not. After all, they have so much experience.

Whenever I read about all the harm they've done over the years, I really, really, really do hope there is a hell waiting for them.

Catholic priests & nuns -> (see icon)

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Re: I guess it's official

Not as much as people who are not Priests and Nuns actually. Humans are the problem.

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Re: I guess it's official

"Humans are the problem." - Can't argue with that.

However, people in positions of trust, power and influence (especially when they are the supposed proponents of a GOOD force in the world) offer up a greater betrayal than ordinary scumbags do.

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Re: I guess it's official

"people in positions of trust, power and influence"

So, like teachers and scoutmasters then?

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Re: I guess it's official

@Mage

When someone's entire raison d'être is that they are a morally superior guide to spirituality and ethics, the excuse "Well, other people rape children too!" doesn't really cut it.

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@ Bumpy Cat--Re: I guess it's official

Oh, that I could upvote you more than once!

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Re: I guess it's official

"A university study (who the hell pays for this crap) "

It probably came out of the School of Social "Sciences" or whatever they call it there.

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Re: I guess it's official

look at the real statistics, not the newspapers.

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@Mage

I'm not quite sure what you're driving at here Mage. For sure there are lots of people out there that do a lot worse than catholic priests and nuns.

However that doesn't make what some of these evil bastards have done any better.

Molesting children and systematically covering it up at an instutional level.

Using children as unpaid slaves, stealing their children and selling them to wealthy Americans.

That's just the Irish one's that I've heard about - God knows what the rest of the get up to (at least I hope he does).

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Re: I guess it's official

Not as much as people who are not Priests and Nuns actually. Humans are the problem.

Adult Humans... With imaginary friends, that are always whispering into their ears, about how wonderful it would be to rid the World of all the Sinners.*

*Sinners here being anyone that refuses to _think_ like them.... So do any of these cats even use Apple stuff? I'd have thought that _Thinking differently_ would be activity to be shunned by those types?

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Re: I guess it's official

I had some trouble parsing your 2nd paragraph. I read it as:

"Whenever I read about all the ham they've done..."

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Where are the values?

I agree with the priest - all filth and nothing for the soul. Where are the four Horsemen? Where are David and Goliath, where are the female role characters (Delilah)? Why can't the children play with destruction of Sodom and Gonorrhea? Hmmm, there is something not quite right with the last one, but it passed the spell checker, so it must be OK...

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Headmaster

Re: Where are the values?

Five. It is five horsemen (or rather four and one chariot, granted. Still makes five, though.).

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Where are the values?

Didn't the 5th horseman leave before they got famous?

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Happy

Re: Where are the values?

Something to do with artistic disagreements.

Ronnie Soak is quite happy just delivering dairy products.

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Flame

Re: Where are the values?

I think it's disgrace that they have so many girlie LEGO sets now, after all we know women are to blame for ALL the worlds sins, as for the babies that are born evil...well.

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Re: Where are the values?

So what does this priest think about My Little Binky?

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Happy

@Christoph Re: Where are the values?

Definitely a 'carrier of Death'; and he does it so well.

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Re: Where are the values?

"Why can't the children play with destruction of Sodom and Gonorrhea? "

IT was fine for a while but as as a family game I'm fed up as I have lost a child but gained an extra salt shaker.

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Re: Where are the values?

"Ronnie Soak is quite happy just delivering dairy products."

Anywhere and at the same time -- it's all quantum, innit?

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Re: Where are the values?

Look up something called 'The Brick Testament'... ;-)

Then your task for the rest of the day is to work out how The Daily Mail connected the author with paedophiles.

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Re: Where are the values? Ronnie Soak

Love his Yak milk from 600 years ago. Still fresh too

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Anonymous Coward

destruction of Sodom and Gonorrhea

Gonorrhea

That's what you catch from preists anyhow

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Re: Where are the values?

Where are the four Horsemen?

Or, in the immortal words of one schoolboy (forever anonymous, thank $DETY from whom all blessing flow), "Where are the four whoresmen?" (He was of the opinion that the reason Cromwell won over King Chuck was that his soldiers were better whoresmen than King Chuck's own, even to eating their meals on whoresback. Now if King Chuck had been named King Liquid Laugh or King Technicolour Yawn instead, he might have won that war ... )

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Re: Where are the values?

So what does this priest think about My Little Binky?

He probably hates that too. I don't think the Church would have much use for a Sun Goddess!

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When I were a lad ...

Lego was a "build it & break it" toy ... Am I the only one who built a floor-to-ceiling castle in the living-room (base roughly 24" square, spire tapered from 6" to as small as possible), tied the middle of the tower to the front door-knob, and laughed my ass off when Dad came home for lunch & destroyed the entire thing?

Rebuilt it the next day. Dad came in the back door. Lesson learned.

Me. Age five.

I still have the blocks. My younger nieces & nephews enjoy playing with my late '50s/early '60s collection.

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Re: When I were a lad ...

not to tie it to the door?

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Re: When I were a lad ...

Not castles, but large spaceships that I would "land" in a Gerry Anderson-esque fashion (sort of belly-flopping, losing large amounts of material as it slid across the floor and into the wall*). I gave myself points if the only intact structure when it came to a halt was where the important members of the crew would sit.

*All sorts of trouble from dad for the dents and gouges in my bedroom wall!

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