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back to article Raised £350bn in crowdsourced funding? Tell me about it (not)

His Girl Friday, All The President’s Men, Pravda, Broadcast News... As a journalist, I ought to be thrilled by reading books and watching dramatisations about other journalists being journalists and generally going about doing their journalisming. Yet there are few things in popular media as forlorn as a journalist talking about …

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Anonymous Coward

沖縄国際映画祭 日本語 メールニュース

Just for laughs... why on earth did Mr Dabbs subscribe to the Okinawa international film, festival Japanese language (they do have on in English) mailing list? Planning some holidays in the sun?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: 沖縄国際映画祭 日本語 メールニュース

I heard they are showing a bunch of Japanese classics, including

The Last Samurai

Black Rain

Rising Sun

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Re: 沖縄国際映画祭 日本語 メールニュース

rubbish

only good stuff from Japan was by Kurosawa - like Kagemusha or Seven Samurai

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Stop

Re: 沖縄国際映画祭 日本語 メールニュース

But Miyazaki, surely?

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Re: 沖縄国際映画祭 日本語 メールニュース

The second and third words are respectively "Ni hon go", meaning "Japanese language" and "Me-Ru-Ni-Yu-Su", meaning unknown. Just in case this guy is having us on....

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Re: 沖縄国際映画祭 日本語 メールニュース

And indeed he is not. The first "word" is indeed to be found as the title of the Japanese Wikipedia article on said festival.

We will now contemplate the awesomeness of having readers of Reg, and Dabbsie in particular, who also read Japanese...

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Re: 沖縄国際映画祭 日本語 メールニュース

"We will now contemplate the awesomeness of having readers of Reg, and Dabbsie in particular, who also read Japanese..."

Speak for yourself. I used Goggle Mistranslate...

EDIT: Although the fact that I recognised 日本語 as being "nihongo" / Japanese-language tipped me off that there was a faint aroma of rattus rattus in the wind...

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Re: 沖縄国際映画祭 日本語 メールニュース

@Cynic: very nice. Now I know what "May-Ru Ni-Yu-Su" is a mangling of.

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Re: 沖縄国際映画祭 日本語 メールニュース

Now I know what "May-Ru Ni-Yu-Su" is a mangling of.

For those who still didn't get it, it's a wasei-eigo word meaning "mail news".

The whole subject line actually translates to "Okinawa International Film Festival mail news in Japanese", which Google Translate gets close enough.

I do happen to be studying Japanese, is that a crime?

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Anonymous Coward

I'm sure you were railing against something

But my attention was drawn to the rather pleasing lady examining the toilet. You could have left the toilet out, and it would have been even better, and still have had no more or less relevance to the text.

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Re: I'm sure you were railing against something

I think the rather pleasing lady was there to demonstrate that some people do have bends... and even use them. She is not a nobend.

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Re: I'm sure you were railing against something

Only tangentially relevant, but it's Friday:

One of the most annoying things in the world is the pictures used to illustrate the personal finance pages in newspapers. The things they're writing about have no visual attributes (what does a photograph of an ISA look like?), but they have a quota of pictures to fill, so they fill the spaces with irrelevant pictures connected to the text by tendentious captions.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I'm sure you were railing against something@Nick Ryan

"She is not a nobend."

Despite the open goal that post offered me, I have resisted the considerable temptation to respond inappropriately. Who says the Reg commentards are bunch of dirty keyboarded tripehounds?

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FAIL

Re: I'm sure you were railing against something@Nick Ryan

"Who says the Reg commentards are bunch of dirty keyboarded tripehounds?"

Reg commentards, thats who...

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Re: I'm sure you were railing against something

I think "nobend" is missing a k at the beginning and a hyphen/space after the "b", if it isn't obvious.

The picture is to illustrate the effect of the gushing cheesy words of a particular press release partly described in the article.

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Silver badge

The part about "A recent survey" just makes me think of the daily fail.

A recent study has found that *Insert item* causes cancer. With the actual contents being that there has been an observational study performed which found a link with "insert scientifict name for Nutrient X" and cancer. "Item" contains "Nutrient X" and will therefore give you cancer, ignoring the fact "Item" has 0.1mg and the observational study only found a link with those consuming 300mg or more per day.

Reminds me of that other thing we had recently, about how meat is as bad for you as smoking. For advice on how much this was bunk, just google

examine.com high protein diet cancer.

I would post the link but my works firewall is about as accurate as an american with an assault rifle surrounded by friendlies.

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Go

Daily FAIL

> *Insert item* causes cancer

*Insert item* causes cancer and reduces house prices.

FTFY.

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>> The part about "A recent survey" just makes me think of the daily fail

To be fair, the DM guys write this stuff not because they are lazy (they are not) but because this is exactly the kind of thing DM readers want to read. People often blame the DM for turning readers into nutters but publishing works the other way around: you target your readership with stuff they want to read. The Guardian does this too, of course.

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Re: Daily FAIL

*Insert item* causes cancer and reduces house prices.

FTFY.

*Insert item* causes cancer, reduces house prices and creates an in influx of criminal child molesting immigrants.

FTFY (v2)

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Childcatcher

Re: >> The part about "A recent survey" just makes me think of the daily fail

I have for years used an email tagline.

The sum total of intelligence on the planet is a constant.

I think we passed 7 Billion last year did we not?

(oddly, its a relevant icon)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Daily FAIL

> *Insert item* causes cancer

*Insert item* is how babies are made...

FTFY

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Coat

Passing off crap as news...

Those guys at Fark.com have known this for years...

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So...

Marketing bods exaggerate, distort the truth and downright lie.

Lazy journos print anything that makes an easy story.

You can't trust what you read, hear or see on TV to be true without fact-checking it yourself.

Also:

Water is wet.

The sky is up.

Politicians cast no reflection.

etc.

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Re: So...

And feeble forum contributors are too scared to reveal their names. So it goes.

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Re: So...

That may be true, Mr Dabbs, nevertheless his point is still valid. So says I, unfeebly.

Is unfeebly even a word?

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Re: FruitExpert Launches Free* Online course in lemon see-sawing!

- Yougurt Weaving

I nearly applied for this course but then you made a classic marketing mistake - you outsourced your spell checking... possibly to Nigerians, which reminds me - a lost relative of mine seems to have passed away but there are difficulties in releasing his money...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: FruitExpert Launches Free* Online course in lemon see-sawing!

Anyone trying to sell this kind of stuff deserves a full metal jacket being popped into him

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Re: FruitExpert Launches Free* Online course in lemon see-sawing!

Wow! I have just finished FruitExpert Online course in lemon see-sawing and now I have become a millionaire over-achiever with a car and a yacht and stuff! Thank you FruitExpert!

My colleague Grumpy Mark didn't want to take the course, and now he's dead.

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Re: FruitExpert Launches Free* Online course in lemon see-sawing!

Dear FruitExpert please sign me up for your course in Full Metal Jacketing. I have no major malfunction!

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Re: FruitExpert Launches Free* Online course in lemon see-sawing!

Coming soon:

- Mushroom Milling

- Pearshaping

- [redacted] Polishing

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One thing I want to know...

Is "journalisming" pronounced with 4 syllables or 5?

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Re: One thing I want to know...

It's pronounced 'jism'. Try saying it now so your office colleagues can hear. Go on, nice and loud.

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Coat

Re: One thing I want to know...

That'll be the journalisming monkeys then... I know, I know, with a poor pun and obscure reference like that I'll get me coat...

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Mushroom

What to do? What to do?

Nuke 'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

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O.K. Alistair so what type and style of Press release do you like?

Maybe I should say "what type and style of Press release would you read?"

As a starting point.

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Coat

Re: O.K. Alistair so what type and style of Press release do you like?

I personally prefer "blank". It leaves so much open to interpretation.

(you didn't specify, but just in case I'll get me....)

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WTF?

Re: O.K. Alistair so what type and style of Press release do you like?

Hang on just one moment... we have an "Alistair Dabbs" and an "Alistair" posting replies as if they are both the author of the article. Would the real Mr Dabbs please stand up? (No Spartacus impressions allowed)

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TOTALLY agree on the point about press releases telling you how much a trendy startup has raised. i think that's all the Flipboard Technology section consists of these days.

Look at your column not as self-indulgence, but rather a peek behind the curtain at the journaismistic art.

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Here is some verbal nonsense that I recently saw elsewhere.

"Hello everyone

"a new approach is necessary to imagine the righteousness of Jesus with

brand-new innovations when evaluating God

Prior to the debate about God , you should also try http://www.wwwwwwwwww.www

;-)"

Well, I haven't looked at the actual site and I don't intend to, but, when did the Jesus business get overrun with new-approach innovation gobbledygook? Doesn't it already have its own?

Then again, this may be randomly generated text, and also may be a malware site, and actually makes Jesus cry.

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Anonymous Coward

customisable PRs

Opera, for the press release of a new product, created a PR Machine.

You just move a slider and you get a different type of PR; from geek to supercorporate (with the obligatory stock image).

A funny way to do a PR and joke about it too.www.operasoftware.com/press/theprmachine

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I heard Churl's banana cake recipe

was really rather good. But if Louis is still there then she's deffo not coming back!

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