back to article Stop fondling that slab and shag, says lover rubber-glover

It used to be said that where there's muck, there's brass - and never has that phrase been truer than in the world of condom sales. Durex is a company which wants people to have as much sex as possible, as long as they buy a few more rubber johnnies to circumvent the unfortunate baby-making and disease-spreading aspects of the …

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I don't even answer the phone when I'm feeding the livestock ...

Keeping real life stable is far more important than the vagaries of humanity.

EOF

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I don't even answer the phone when I'm feeding the livestock ...

Coming up with bullshit does seem to be your main interest in life, it's true.

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Re: I don't even answer the phone when I'm feeding the livestock ...

glad you didn't make reference to wearing rubber while "feeding" your "livestock"... shudder.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I don't even answer the phone when I'm feeding the livestock ...

I think the poster meant "I don't wear rubber even when "feeding" the livestock." Snark... snark

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Anonymous Coward

Nokia

So when Nokia tell us their phones can be used with gloves on, is this a euphemism?

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Coat

Re: Nokia

Only if it's set to vibrate.

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Meh

Ever tried putting one on in the dark?

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You can get ones that glow.

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Anonymous Coward

I know its necessary and all...

But I can't think of less of a turn-on than having to use these damn things... Its easy to fantasize a future where better solutions exist. And it can't come soon enough for me!

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Joke

Re: I know its necessary and all...

"And it can't come soon enough for me!

Phnar!! Phnar!!!"

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Headmaster

Re: Phnar!! Phnar!!!"

surely "Fnarr Fnarr" ?

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Re: I know its necessary and all...

"But I can't think of less of a turn-on than having to use these damn things..."

Then you're doing it wrong! Let your partner slip it on you, as a part of foreplay.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I know its necessary and all...

I've never met a partner who is any good at "slipping it on". Probably because they don't just slip on, heck they don't even roll on easily. Damned annoying things.

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Joke

I'm angry

They should have despicted a lesbian couple as well!

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Joke

Re: I'm angry

Or, despicable me.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I'm angry

Durex hates lesbians!

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Joke

I thought that it was mandatory that every item used during Earth Hour must be reusable.

hmm, condoms? Reuse?

Yech!!

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"hmm, condoms? Reuse?"

Jake Blues saved his...

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Headmaster

Prurient

That's made my day, I have learned a new word, which will be fun trying to place in a conversation.

It's one of those words that is likely to switch on "Dummy Mode" , depending on the context could be quite interesting.

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Well

I didnt think the advert was that bad.

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Bronze badge

If Durex were serious about ....

.... increasing their sales they would spend some time catering to the posh wank market.

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Paris Hilton

Re: If Durex were serious about ....

Maybe they make n market dressings for repetitive strain injuries?

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Pint

some 12 per cent of people had answered a phone during sex, while one in 10 had read a text

I don't know what comment to add - I'm speechless - erm - unable to type ah! commentless?

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Devil

Yeah! I'm a statistic.

See above.

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Bronze badge

I wonder

>some 12 per cent of people had answered a phone during sex

How many made a call? And, how many made calls to their current sexual 'partner' in an effort to get their attention? That's the... err, uhm... telling... info.

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Re: I wonder

I set mine to vibrate during sex.

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Anonymous Coward

I always answer the phone during sex

It's usually the wife!

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