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back to article Monkey steals iPod touch, loses interest in minutes

Whatever Apple's up to with its strongly-hinted-at new products, investors will be hoping it's not aiming at the simian market after a monkey reportedly lost interest in an iPod touch after just a few minutes. The iPod Touch in question was dropped by ten year-old Stormi-Lee Whitford during a visit to Auckland Zoo, according to …

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Spider Monkey 1, Homosap 0

EOF

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Re: Spider Monkey 1, Homosap 0

I thought this was an article about Ballmer - naturally he'd quickly lose interest in the iThing

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Spider Monkey 1, Homosap 0

Re: Spider Monkey 1, Homosap 0

I thought this was an article about Ballmer - naturally he'd quickly lose interest in the iThing

- yep - as soon as he realised he couldn't eat it or wipe his ar*e with it...

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Obviously there was no wifi, so the poor fellow couldn't get El Reg. Must have decided that without something good to read the fondletat was pretty worthless. What good's a consumptive device with nothing to consume?

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Hmm, been up all night. Misread that as "fondleteat".

I'll get my pillow...

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Strange, my son used to enjoy chewing the corners...

Humans just have different tastes.

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Happy

Re:Strange, my son used to enjoy chewing the corners...

Not an Apple device then?

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TRT
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So...

That's why they're rounded!

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You think he was heading to the forums to post a comment blindly supporting [company X] regardless of the story, taking the opportunity to remind people who use products made by [company Y] that they're a sub-monkey laughing stock and objectively wrong?

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Simian would do better with Symbian

No wonder it was disappointed.

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Stormi-Lee? Really?

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RE: Really?

Aye - offspring of proud parents Cloudi-Lee and Slightly-Foggi-Lee...

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I know a kid by that name. Not THIS kid mind you, unless he was on vacation very far from home. It is spring break in these parts, but I rather doubt that particular family has the finances to vacation in New Zealand since his mother's a widow.

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Re: RE: Really?

Rainee and Gale?

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obviously took one look at iTunes

and threw the iPod away

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Re: obviously took one look at iTunes

Read the article... it was using it for a good few minutes. Therefore the battery had run out.

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That's a plus one for Apple.

It didn't start flinging it at people, so it can't be poo.

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Re: That's a plus one for Apple.

So, in the monkey's estimation, not as worthwhile (useful) as it's own poo even?

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Re: That's a plus one for Apple.

You make a good point...

Maybe the new look of iOS7 was making it nauseous?

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Headmaster

Re: That's a plus one for Apple.

Or even nauseated.

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Meh

Re: That's a plus one for Apple.

Hmmm, upon re-reading, I now understand the ambiguity that might make this either: the new look makes iOS nauseous, or the new look makes the monkey nauseated... Huh.

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Stormi-Lee Whitford parents were lucky...

That monkey could have racked up 1,000's of dollars worth of purchases on Candy Crush!

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Facepalm

"Stormi-Lee"

(see icon ->)

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Joke

The child will get it back eventually

But how long will he have to wait?

Well, how long does it take a spider monkey to type out the full works of shakespeare?

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Re: The child will get it back eventually

I don't know but it looks like some of their earlier stuff is here where I work as code an some of the systems.

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Anonymous Coward

Stormi-Lee

Stormi-Lee - what kind of crazy name is that?!?!?!

I think thats what the article should be about. People with crazy names having iPods.

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Re: Stormi-Lee

Using a lightning connection?

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Happy

Re: Stormi-Lee

Or a Marvel/ X-men connection?

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Happy

Further News ....

The keepers are puzzled by an unexpected delivery of bananas and other exotic fruit by the local supermarkets on-line division

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Inserts ear pods... presses play. This is what was going through its mind.

What am I doing hanging around? I wanna be free; this just doesn't seem to be my day, for Pete's sake! You told me sometime in the morning, Mr Webster. Zilch. That randy scouse git is hard to believe. I'm gonna try all your toys as we go along, salesman. Can you dig it? 99 pounds?! It's just a game!

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Anonymous Coward

Maybe if it had come with headphones?

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OOK!

I think the monkey in question would as easily lose interest in "War and Peace", which to many humans is absolutely riveting.

I asked, the only simian I know who appreciates books, and he said "OOK" so there!

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Everyone knows...

Everyone knows that monkey only like banana's, it's no surprise he turned his little nose up at an apple...

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Re: Everyone knows...

> Everyone knows that monkey only like banana's, it's no surprise he turned his little nose up at an apple...

Which monkey? Banana's what?

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The picture on the home page is not a monkey...

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Terminator

Damn you. God damn you all to hell.

This will not end well

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I feel a patent coming on...

Rounded corners aren't cool in monkey society. Simians prefer curved, elongated shapes with pointy ends. So that idea's now in the public domain, before Apple patent it and come up with the iBanana.

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Next time....

Give him a tablet running Winows 8 and see if it's more or less desirable to a monkey.

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Hang on a moment...

Spider monkey? You mean a monkey that was bitten by a radioactive spider and mutated to develop friendly-neighbourhood super powers?

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Angel

Zanzibar, the movie

According to the article, the keepers cannot find the iPod and so the keepers are ASSUMING it has been tossed in the moat.

Clearly, the monkeys are clever enough to outwit the keepers. It is only a matter of time before they have figured out how to play movies. In particular the one mentioned in the title. After that....

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Boffin

Intelligent life on Earth

It's proof of intelligent life on Earth... that's to say, monkeys !

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It has to be said....

"The iPod's not been seen for a few days with zookeepers telling the Herald they suspect it's been tossed into the moat surrounding the monkey enclosure."

Obviously another tosser with an iPad.

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