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back to article Apple patents the super-soaraway selfie system of the future

Apple has embarked on a mission to allow fanbois to take the best quality mobile phone selfies in the history of humanity. As well as a new section in the iTunes store specifically dedicated to "Sharing Selfie" apps which allow fanbois to share pictures of their ugly mug, the fruity firm has patented a system to allow them to …

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Facepalm

So it's true

a new section in the iTunes store specifically dedicated to "Sharing Selfie" apps

This confirms we have long passed peak civilisation and it's all downhill from here.

I'm going to stock up with food and fuel as iPhone-wielding barbarians will be at the gates soon.

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Unhappy

Re: So it's true

Who would ever want to be seen out with a device dedicated to total rubbish like this? It must be the marketing equal of anti matter.

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Anonymous Coward

I'm going to stock up with food and fuel as iPhone-wielding barbarians will be at the gates soon.

Do you work in a Apple store?

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Re: So it's true

The game Neo-Scavenger actually follows this type of event. After the world falls from an unknown event, you awake in a post apocalyptic scene with nothing more than the dirt around you and you have to survive.

I-pads are used as lighting or their position sensors as early warning from invaders. :P

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Joke

Re: So it's true

I'm going to stock up with food and fuel as iPhone-wielding barbarians will be at the gates soon.

I wouldn't worry too much - once they reach the gates they'll start looking for a giant sling to fling birds at them with: as long as you don't have any of those around, you should be safe...

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Coat

Please bring the launch date for MarsOne forward.

I don't think I can wait until 2023 anymore . . .

Mine's the space suit.

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Re: Please bring the launch date for MarsOne forward.

Mine's the space suit.

Don't forget your camera . . .

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Re: Please bring the launch date for MarsOne forward.

Mars, wow, imagine the selfie you could take from there!

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Anonymous Coward

Available on Webcams everywhere.

So they've added hipster glasses, beards and pipes to those stupid apps that track your face then?

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Anonymous Coward

Hang on...

So what is a digital SLR or micro 2/3 camera but an electronic device attached by a bayonet connection to a lens?

On second thoughts, now I've actually looked at the patent, it's an attempt to find a way of connecting a mobile phone camera to an accessory lens so that if you drop it, the accessory lens falls off instead of breaking the tiny mechanism built in to the phone.

The problem is that having a great big cylinder attached to the top corner of the phone is a bit unwieldy anyway - you have to hold it so the screen is visible, it can't be used like a handgrip.

The Sony solution, a separate lens system with its own sensor and battery, looks an awful lot better.

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Re: Hang on...

I remember my Sony-Erricson T68i (or whatever) could get a separate camera to attach. :P

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Re: Hang on...

As Yogi Berra said; "this is like deja vu all over again". I thought I'd seen something similar and wondered why Apple didn't go the magsafe plug route. The answer is photojojo ate their magnetic lunch.

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Anonymous Coward

"looks set to render the next generation the most boring, vain and self-obsessed to date."

Unlike the thoroughly well-adjusted crew of commentards who frequent your web site, naturally, who are entirely free of societal peccadilloes and were certainly not regarded by their elders as having taken an unprecedented southward step in human development - just like every other generation since people figured out what generations were.

Seriously, the Reg is mocking people for being shallow - in an article that takes a patent for an add-on lens mechanism and turns it into a flailing, spittle-flecked rant about selfies? The only people I know who are obsessed with selfies are people feverishly railing about the end of civilization because they saw some 20-dumbest list on Buzzfeed. I think I'd rather dine with the boring, vain, and self-obsessed yoof.

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