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back to article Steve Jobs statue: Ones and ohs and OH NOES – it's POINTING at us

Apple godhead Steve Jobs was known for his love of superb but pricey design and flawless aesthetics. So why on Earth has the fruity firm decided to immortalise him with a monstrous statue that's been described as a "huge dildo" for fanbois? Twitter critics have erupted in rage and disbelief after the statue was unveiled on the …

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Flawless aesthetics?

Uh ... no.

In the early days, I always sat upwind of Steve.

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Is that how you remember me?

First impression: Swiss army knife

Second impression: A nail that was messed up in production and discarded in QC

Lasting impression: If that's how you want to remember me, please forget about me ...

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As someone else has noted...

It's a Pez dispenser - only it spits out iPhones

Still fugly though

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Bill Gates' bottle opener

I imagine he is commissioning a batch right now.

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Anonymous Coward

Where do I enter the catchpa?

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Angel

It's crap

The artist forgot to put one of the horizontal bars in the € sign, and the $ sign is entirely missing! This isn't the Jobs we all knew!.

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Re: It's crap

Not to mention the * and # used frequently in his outbursts...

Actually, maybe not the latter, he couldn't find it on the keyboard!

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RDF

The reality distortion field still hard at work, I see, if they really think think that's the best of the bunch.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: RDF

In fairness, has anyone seen the other ones? ;)

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Facepalm

Re: RDF

Yeah, a urinal cake could beat that thing...

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I now know where

to hang my coat.

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Inspired by the classics

It's a Herma.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herma

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Re: Inspired by the classics

I never seen a Herma before, those cheeky Greeks! I want one.

Thanks for the link

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Trollface

Re: Inspired by the classics

Isn't the penis supposed to be at the front, rather than on top?

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Re: Inspired by the classics

He's holding it wrong

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Inspired by the classics

Herma - originally used to mark boundaries and dedicated to Hermes who, among other things, was Greek god of boundaries .... so see why Apple have gone for it - it aligns directly with the whole ethos of "we get you to buy one device from us and then you're trapped in our walled ecosystem"

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Re: Inspired by the classics

It's a Herma.

An iHerma ?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Inspired by the classics

Isn't the penis supposed to be at the front, rather than on top?

Yup - see here. Warning: may be considered NSFW, but who gets their rocks off on that (pardon the pun) really needs help IMHO :)

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Re: trapped in our walled ecosystem

That's serendipitous. I suspect the artist was going more for the idea of Hermes the messenger.

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Re: Inspired by the classics

Thanks @EddieD. Now I know what a Herma is, and what apotropaic magic is. I'm sure I learn more from El Reg (usually commentards) than from any other forum.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: trapped in our walled ecosystem

Not serendipitous ... Hermae were originally boundary markers

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Trollface

Re: Inspired by the classics

"It's a Herma.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herma"

Look, this is Apple. Stop pointing out prior art, because if it existed before they (or someone on their behalf) did it, then it clearly did not because they did it first.

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Apple.....

...needs to look at the slate statue of Alan Turing over at Bletchley.

Now that's how to make a classy and fitting memorial.

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Re: Apple.....

Thats a good one.

Also the Turing statue in Whitworth Gardens is simple but good. Similar to the Roosevelt and Churchill statue on Bond St. Gets people interested and interacting.

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Trollface

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you....

The Human CemeteriPad

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Finally! Apple shows some innovation!

It's just a shame that "There's not enough statues of Steve Jobs" isn't really a problem that needs a solution.

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FAIL

WTF

What the fuck is it? It frightens the crap out of me!

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Re: WTF

It's like that rotating beam out of Hellraiser, with random body parts and torture tools nailed onto it.

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The statue works for me...

Everyone is just looking at it wrong.

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If that's the best entry...

I don't want to know how the rest looked...

Frankly, that... thing... is uglier than an Xbox...

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Linux

I've seen a lot worse: http://www.flickr.com/photos/zoetnet/2802207351/?rb=1

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Anonymous Coward

Haha, love it, even though a tad NSFW. Apparently that is supposed to be an Xmas tree - as if anyone over 14 would believe that...

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TRT
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My immediate thought? A lamplighter's ladder. Then a freaky matchstick. Then just pure and simple WTF?

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I like it!

And it's provoking a reaction, so it MUST be art!

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Glad you do

So if it provokes a reaction, it is art ?

Shit provokes a reaction, does that mean it's art ?

On the other hand, that would explain a lot about Microsoft....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Glad you do

Explains a lot about Tracey Emin too.

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Stop

@ notauser

That's a tad harsh.

There are half a dozen pieces of her work scattered around my home town, and they are interesting, unexpected, and thought provoking. (If they haven't been stolen / vandalised since I last saw them).

She's not all bad.

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Well if nothing else, at least they got the disapproving expression down well

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Art for Art's sake

Artist's eh! don't you just love em? You can always rely on a sculptor to be so arrogantly fixated on their own idea of 'Art' that the subject matter gets completely ignored. I'm surprised he managed to remember to put Job's head on the top of it; which probably explains why it looks like it has been stuck on at the last minute just before the approval committee arrived.

I can sum it up with two words "bloody dreadful".

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Re: Art for Art's sake

>You can always rely on a sculptor to be so arrogantly fixated on their own idea of 'Art' that the subject matter gets completely ignored.

That's not really a problem if you have lots of sculptors submitting proposals for the same commission... it is then the selection panel that chooses the final piece.

Infact, one would use a sculptor *because* they have their own idea of art (you wouldn't expect them to fixate on somebody else's idea of art, surely? It's not as if there is a public consensus on what art is, either); otherwise you'd just use a 3D scanner and a 3D printer to create a mold for casting.

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Since its supposed to be Art as opposed to a a functional device (like the iPhone), it certainly seems to tick all the right boxes.

As with any art, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm not a fan of most modern art, but that doesn't stop it being art. Unless it's Tracy Emin, in which case it's shiteart.

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Pfft, It's Apple

No need to worry, just wait for the next keynote and the iSculpture 2S

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That's horrific.

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Anonymous Coward

This Is Medieval Times!

It looks like he's been executed and had his head stuck on spike.

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TRT
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Re: This Is Medieval Times!

I like that the post has rounded corners...

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Seems like I'm alone here

I actually quite like it. But then I generally enjoy a bit of modern art, and sculptures, so maybe it's just me...

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Re: Seems like I'm alone here

I like it too! But I think art enthusiasts would deny that this is Modern Art. Far too conservative.

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Hmm

I think it's brilliant how they clearly used Windows Paint to design it on..

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Different

Either a skeleton key or a device for opening bottles and cans. But I can definitely see a market for replicas with sharpened ends, to play mumblety-peg with.

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Hellraiser

That reminds me of a prop out of the horror film 'Hellraiser' series that pinhead and mates would mess about with.

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