Re: First they have to last more than a year.
"Almost all microSD cards I've used in my phones have not lasted over a year. I've not skimped on quality/price BTW. They all seem to be shit."
I upvoted you because the downvotes are not entirely justified.
I had the same experience when I used a USB flash drive for work. With constant daily usage (read AND writes), I couldn't get more than about a year out of them. Considering they were high capacity units, I was sick of spending a couple of hundred bucks every time one failed.
So I pissed them all off and replaced with a 2.5" drive in a USB case. Four years later I'm still using that very drive.
Some brands are better controller-wise than others, they really do help with the write tolerance. Also not filling the flash device to the brim helps the controller do it's job in shuffling data around.
So, if you're using a flash storage device ON THEIR TERMS, it most certainly can last many, many years. But let's face it, we're dealing with Real Life (TM) here, and that's what the downvoters don't seem to see.