Re: “can neither spell CONSUMER nor DEVICE”
I find the use of "verb" as a verb horribly recursive and jarring
That's rather the point (though "horribly" is, of course, subjective; as a shibboleth I have to say this one ranks quite far down on my list).
The use of "verb" as a verb in this sense was popularized by Bill Watterson in a famous Calvin and Hobbes strip. In the final panel, Calvin declares "Verbing weirds language", and Hobbes replies "Maybe we can eventually make language a complete impediment to understanding". The text and tone of the strip clearly1 imply that such usage is intended2 to be jarring ("weird").
Of course, Hobbes' objection in the strip isn't terribly persuasive either, since there's no evidence to suggest that English speakers are significantly confused by part-of-speech shifts, finding such neologistic usage perfectly cromulent.3
1Under the obvious, straightforward reading; counterinterpretations are left as an exercise for the reader.
2The myriad problems of intentionalist readings notwithstanding, we can speak of the intent of a rhetorical trope such as part-of-speech shifting without prejudicing the interpretive act or implying a privileged interpretation; rhetorical evaluation still leaves us plenty of interpretive margin thanks to uptake, etc.
3... he wrote, to forestall the otherwise-inevitable follow-up post by one of the local wags.