back to article Fancy a little kinky sex? GCHQ+NSA will know - thanks to ANGRY BIRDS

Some of the world's most popular smartphone applications are telling British and American intelligence agencies everything about you – from your location to your politics or whether you're part of the swinging set. That's according to classified documents leaked by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden. The dossier, published today …

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Anonymous Coward

"I'm still alive and don't lose sleep for what I did because it was the right thing to do," he added.

With nine+ million people on El Reg, one of them might be Mr. Snowden.

Thank you sir.

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I'd install it too.

There's one thing worse than disinformation, dysinformation.

And I can be astoundingly difficult when I wish to be.

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...applications are telling British and American intelligence agencies everything about you – from your location to your politics or whether you're part of the swinging set.

And even more shocking new research shows the pope is be a Catholic...

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Pint

Why don't the NSA just put out their own App?

I'd install it.

But not because I'm one of those ding-dongs that believes "If you've got nuttin' to hide..." etc. It's more subtle than that.

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Re: Why don't the NSA just put out their own App?

That's like Winston Smith buying a HDTV - so Big-Brother could spy on him better.

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Re: Why don't the NSA just put out their own App?

But 'twas all legal! Ingsoc has all the paperwork to prove it.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Why don't the NSA just put out their own App?

It already has. WhatsApp makes message intercept *much* easier. Instead of having to co-opt telcos for SMS taps, they get it delivered on a US server.

To me, it's one of the smartest global intercept programmes ever.

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Re: Why don't the NSA just put out their own App?

I thought they did. It's called Google.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I thought they did. It's called Google.

Shush!

The rubes aren't supposed to know about that. If they figure out they've volunteered to use the most effective [redacted] data collection program ever ....

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Anonymous Coward

Here's the problem

The intelligence agencies and the people they manage (the governments) seem to have forgotten that being within the letter of the law doesn't mean you're right and normally when someone falls back on "the things we're doing are within *xyz loosely written law*" it means they likely know what they're doing is morally and ethically wrong... bankrupt... corrupt... and probably downright evil.

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Re: Here's the problem

being within the letter of the law doesn't mean you're right

If it's not illegal it cannot be wrong; that's how they sleep soundly in their beds at night. They wilfully choose not to make any moral judgement on whether it is right. The legal test substitutes for a moral test.

Once that's understood it becomes crystal clear how government ministers and the like can stand there, with straight faces, telling us that something others consider bad is the right thing to do and can genuinely believe that.

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Pint

Re: Here's the problem

Nah. It's for the children; think of the children.

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Re: Here's the problem

Either they ignore morals and stay within the letter of the law and feel they are therefore justified or they break the law to do what is morally right and feel they are therefore justified. It's all good to the those with psychopathic tendencies who gain power and think the end always justifies the means.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Here's the problem

Nah. It's for the children; think of the children.

So, what you're saying is that the children are the problem?

Which suggests in turn that we need to remove the children from the equation...

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Re: Here's the problem

"being within the letter of the law doesn't mean you're right"

So, from my old AD&D gaming days (I hate angry birds) that would make:

NSA --> Lawful - Evil

Snowden --> Chaotic - Good

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Here's the problem

Probably more likely Neutral-good as chaotic good is more the "well sure 10 people died but I saved 11, now where's a good brothel" mentality.

but yeah Lawful Evil for the security forces, the most dangerous kind of RPG enemy.

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Roo
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Re: Here's the problem

"something others consider bad is the right thing to do and can genuinely believe that"

"That depends on your definition of genuinely" to paraphrase the head knob of the NSA.

Please note: An innocent tax paying citizen (ie: someone who is subject to the rule of law) would likely end up facing imprisonment or worse for perjury and/or treason for trying that stunt.

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Re: Here's the problem

NSA --> Lawful - Evil

No, NSA -> Lawful Neutral.

Lawyers are lawful evil.

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Neurotic Firefox User

Surely a user of a cross-plaform browser is aiming to be platform agnostic, right? But neurotic?

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Black Helicopters

Re: Neurotic Firefox User

Who says I'm neurotic? Why are you all talking about me? It's perfectly normal to use Firefox isn't it? I'm so worried what people will think about me - especially as I've installed Firefox for a bunch of my friends. Now people will think the people I've installed it for are neurotic and then my friends will be annoyed with me because I made other people think they're neurotic and also think that I'm neurotic becuase I installed it and...

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Big Brother

Re: Neurotic Firefox User

Since I changed to Chrome I am much more relaxed. I have nothing to fear. So I shall not fear. Becasue I have nothing to hide, Because I have nothing to fear, I have hidden nothing. I am much happier now that I have learned to relax and let go of my data. I love Big Brother.

It's good to be alive in 1985!

You silly, twisted boy you...

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Black Helicopters

Maybe the NSA/GCHQ should put out a jihad app....

CONGRATULATIONS!!! You've just completed level 4 by recruiting a suicide bomber in 5 minutes, 37 seconds.

To move to level 5, "Escape from the rendition squad!" you need to press "continue" within 10 seconds, so pay no attention to that black van pulling up behind you!....9....8...7....

(Maybe they could call it "Angry Kurds"?)

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Paris Hilton

A new kind of scratch monkey

But the question is how logical is it that she's the only one who was monitored, how likely is it that she was the German person the NSA was watching?

I misread that as "mounted", I hope I am not the only one.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: A new kind of scratch monkey

seems like you're the only one

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Re: A new kind of scratch monkey

Taking rendezvous with doctor Sigmund...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: A new kind of scratch monkey

Not Angie the Frump, surely.

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Anonymous Coward

Dove from above

"Internet Explorer users scored.......highest in.......conscientiousness"

Yeah, right. Define "conscientious". 'Malleable'? 'Shit scared'? 'Users of Norton or McAfee (or - wait for it...wait for it...MSE'?)

(Now, down-voters, we really want to see those fingers, we really want to see those fingers!)

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Re: Dove from above

Only one finger to see, though it's not one for polite company.

Just ignore the wink.

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Re: Dove from above

I don't even know what value such information has to the intelligence services.

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Trollface

Re: Dove from above

C'mon... seriously? You really think they don't want to know who uses the exploding bird most often?!?

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Meh

So once again the advertising companies s**t over your privacy

Angry birds --> Mildly amusing game

Angry birds + advertising code ---> 24/7/365 spy tool.

Google spies on people for it's customers who are also advertising companies.

Are we seeing a pattern here?

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Re: So once again the advertising companies s**t over your privacy

24/7/365 - so that will be seven years then (actually not quite seven years because of leap years)?

24/7 = "all the time", 24/365 = "all the time", but 24/7/365 is just silly!

</pedantry>

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Re: So once again the advertising companies s**t over your privacy

Agreed. As any fule kno it should be 24/7/52.17857142857143.

Rosie

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Re: So once again the advertising companies s**t over your privacy

Yeah, that always gets on my nerves too.

24/7/52 would be accurate.

Edit: or, like the above, you could get into the tiny portions of the year which add up to leap years!

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Re: So once again the advertising companies s**t over your privacy

Yeah. I'm actually more upset with the company that introduced the vulnerability than the NSA. The NSA was only doing what came naturally. It was the idiot company that left the screen door unlocked.

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Re: So once again the advertising companies s**t over your privacy

But why is it always 24/7 which is "24 divided by 7" so about three-and-a-half? Why not 24x7 ?

I've always been perplexed by that.

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Re: 24/7 or 24x7

24/7 is read as 24 by 7 as most people so that does make the meaning clear to most people ..

24/7/365 is overkill n preferably should not be used ..

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Dig

Just monitoring you purchases

Ready for whoever buys catcher in the rye.

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Re: Just monitoring you purchases

It was mandatory reading at school. We had a whole box.

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@Destroy All Monsters

Zoom! Right over the head.

I guess you missed the Mel Gibson movie.

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Re: Just monitoring you purchases

After watching that movie, my friend discovered that she had several copies of that book (including one in her bed's headboard shelf), but she had never read it. It kind of freaked her out.

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Big Brother

So, of course...

... we're going to get full control over what data the Apps we install actually gets access to, aren't we?

"Our pissy little game needs access to your e-mail, your location, your contacts list, your photographs, your fingerprints, your blood group..."

"No, FUCK OFF!"

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Re: So, of course...

"Our pissy little game needs access to your e-mail, your location, your contacts list, your photographs, your fingerprints, your blood group..."

You missed the iris pattern and DNA sample.

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Coat

Re: So, of course...

I think that's deliberate omission, only because Apple hasn't implemented necessary phone sensors, yet.

What, you thought only Android is suitable for spying?

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Re: So, of course...

No, iPhones are pretty good for spying as well.

As long as you're the NSA.

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Unhappy

"The Angry Bird Seasons" app, sold currently in the Amazon appstore requires the following permissions:

- Your location

- Full Network access

- Storage (SD card access)

- phone status and identity

- monitor network communication

- development tools (test access to protected storage)

- access to accounts

I have no idea, if the game play is good or not. No way I would give a game such permissions without a good reason.

Oh, and did I mention that is the "ad-free" version!

I suppose their company slogan is something like "We make money, so why should we care"...

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Stop

Development tools? Good grief!

I admit I'm several years out of date on Android, but if I saw an app asking for permission to use developer resources on a production device, I'd run a mile.

If you're just skimming through, with limited knowledge of the system (as I currently would be), that just screams "SCAM!!!1111!!!!!ONE!!1ONE!!!" in twenty foot high iluminated letters!

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Some of those permissions are justifiable.

Network access? Movies (not just for ads anymore)

Storage? To record progress.

Phone status? To pause on a call.

Accounts? To sell the addons.

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Remember the birds are very angry.

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FAIL

The Fourth Amendment says: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

The Fifth Amendment says: No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb, nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Between these two amendments, there is no room for an NSA! They can claim the contrary all they want, and they can cite the Supreme Court as much as they please, but I can read well enough to understand what The Contitution of the United States intends! I say, that what they are doing violates the intention of our Founders.

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