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back to article Devs write 'film my shag' sex app for Google Glass

It's difficult to imagine anyone wanting to get down and dirty with a partner who would willingly wear Google Glass. Yet one group of app developers is betting that Glassholes not only manage to get lucky, but also have a partner willing to film the whole sordid affair. The Sex With Glass app was created at a Wearable Tech …

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This entire article is missing the "Joke Alert" icon.

At least, I hope it is.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: This entire article is missing the "Joke Alert" icon.

Sadly this is no joke, Google Glass was after all invented by a German

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zb

Why?

Why would a glasshole need a woman? Surely Glass provides all he needs.

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Re: Why?

I most strongly agree... after all you end up having "sex with glass" not with your partner !

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Paris Hilton

Re: Why?

Nah - the next logical step will be to link it to the Internet of Thingies with the GoogleDoll (TM) that communicates with the Glass and responds to the voice commands. It might even respond to the sound of the Glasshole's panting with some appropriate noises.

They'll need their own protocol though, as IP might be open to misinterpretation and trigger a reminder to refill the doll's bladder at an unfortunate moment.

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Re: Why?

Woman - doubt it. Mirror - maybe if the mirror hasn't any standards.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Why?

No no no. This article is about Glass users, not Apple users

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Re: Why? How about a low-tech accessory for that Glass, hahahaha....?

http://m.koreatimes.co.kr/pad/news/view.jsp?req_newsidx=150046

En(d) joy!

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Re: Why?

Oh, that's absolutely brilliant! That even gives them an "avenue" to accidentally "slurp" more data.

They can collect vast amounts of "DNA".

Get my patent lawyers on the phone.

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Well thats the ......

...... virgin and gonzo porn demographic sorted.

Time to start printing t-shirts with QR codes for lemonparty and blue waffle on them :)

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Paris Hilton

Re: Well thats the ......

What are you saying I don't even.

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WTF?

"We asked ourselves: 'How can we make sex more awesome with Google Glass?"

You can't help but envisage this being said by someone with more knowledge of the theory (and theoretical research from certain mags/DVDs/websites) than actual practical "hands-on" knowledge?

Aside from that, I'm unsure whether the article would merit more from a "Joke Alert" icon than the "WTF?" one, as the latter is equally appropriate to the thinking described...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "We asked ourselves: 'How can we make sex more awesome with Google Glass?"

Who are we to judge what Google Glass users do by themselves....

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Paris Hilton

Glass half full

I assume this will provide single handed operation. There will definitely be a need for image stabilization. Could lead to a whole new social media platform - F**kbook or twatter.

I foresee a rapid spurt of development around this app. Perhaps leading to the adoption of a new programming language C-men.

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But shirley

Glassholes carry their partner around with them, they've only go to take their hand out of their pocket and they can re-live the whole experience all over again, although maybe not straight away.

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"Simply swipe to a new perspective. And enjoy the new view. When you connect your phone, you can even see what it's like from any angle"

Google Glass can bend light from behind an object so you can see it from another angle? Really? Or total bollox? You decide.

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@Stephen Gray

If a google glass user really did get the chance of a shag he'd probably invite all his friends round to watch otherwise they'd never believe him, hence multiple points of view. On the other hand, how many friends do google glass users have? More likely they buy five pairs and put the spare ones on mannequins.

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JDX
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Re: @Stephen Gray

Ah, nerds on an IT site making fun about how other IT nerds don't get sexy action.

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Re: @Stephen Gray

But not all nerds are professional nerds some of us are nerds when we need to pay the rent others take it a bit too far.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: @Stephen Gray - @Chris W

This needs to be written in big letters on the El Reg masthead.

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Facepalm

I think the idea they have in mind is to use the camera on your phone, routing the video feed to your Glass screen. Or just get a big mirror on the wall/ceiling, then you can BOTH(*) enjoy the different perspective(s) thus afforded.

* - Ah, I see I made the mistake of projecting my personal experience of carnal pleasures, where-in the experience is a SHARED one.

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@JDX

Well we keep appearing on the planet so at least one of us is getting lucky enough to breed more.

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JDX
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Re: @JDX

If "nerd" was a gene then yes.

Many IT folk are fairly normal, but the El Reg forum community is decidedly at the deep end.

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Re: @JDX

Now is that the deep or the shallow end of the gene pool?

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Coat

this is so sad ...

need to go, do not want to keep someone waiting

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Anonymous Coward

Re: this is so sad ...

Ah, so you're my date on chatroulette tonight

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Coffee/keyboard

Oh god - I can't get rid of this image

So i am going to share it with you

Both partners wearing glass and sharing the view they are getting with each other in real time

Barf

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Joke

Re: Oh god - I can't get rid of this image

Could be funny though, if the man gets to see the woman's glass view and see's that she's doing the online shopping, playing Candy Crush or something similar at the time too.

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Rob
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Re: Oh god - I can't get rid of this image

The film Strange Days springs to mind, 'nuff said.

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Re: Oh god - I can't get rid of this image

I am eagerly awaiting Google Squids.

That movie was spot on on "current trends in cop behaviour" though.

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Re: Oh god - I can't get rid of this image

"...she's doing the online shopping, playing Candy Crush.."

o we now have a hi tech variant on the old 'If I'm asleep when you finish, pull my nightie down - it's cold'

On the other hand, when a man is in the 'heat of the moment', imagining that he looks a little like a cross between a stallion and Brad Pitt, does he actually want to know what he *really* looks like?

More to the point, does he want to be reminded of what he looked like in his glass replays?

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But

Remember to wipe it clean afterwards

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I wear glasses (real ones)

And most of the time I'm glad I can take them off. It's bad enough for my self esteem while it's happening, but to be able to see it clearly afterwards, wearing my real glasses, no thanks.

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Anonymous Coward

If you say so, it must be true

"Footage is stored for on the cloud for five hours before being deleted forever."

Hahaha... yea... hahaha...

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Anonymous Coward

Re:Footage is stored for on the cloud for five hours

Only five hours!

That means the foreplay scenes will be deleted before I even finish! :-)

Also - sort of reminds me of "Brainstorm" - the bit where the man is experiencing an looped orgasm.

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Re: Re:Footage is stored for on the cloud for five hours

Exactly.

Five hours, or forever. Depending on whether you've paid the inevitable hackers their fee.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Re:Footage is stored for on the cloud for five hours

There was a report last week of an unfortunate woman who experienced a continuous orgasm that lasted so long she had to go to A&E, though they're not saying what the treatment was.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: If you say so, it must be true

Don't think I've heard of a better attraction for hackers. Is someone really doing this to get maximum pen [ahem] testing of the cloud?

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Re: Re:Footage is stored for on the cloud for five hours

I have the perfect cure for female orgasm.

apparently

It's all right, I'm going

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Re: Re:Footage is stored for on the cloud for five hours

that's it I was desperately trying to remember that film

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Thumb Up

Brainstorm (Re: Re:Footage is stored for on the cloud for five hours)

Exactly! Watch the 1983 trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNiZP2G-nEM

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Paris Hilton

The human condition

This is somehow so sad, but at the same time so predicable.

Has there ever been any invention that once created somehow has not thought hmmm how can I have sex with/on/in it

Paris because I bet she will be buying one soon

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@ hammarbtyp

"This is somehow so sad, but at the same time so predicable."

That's all the comment that's necessary. It is not possible to upvote you enough.

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Re: The human condition

You do know what the first profitable application for the Daguerreotype was, don't you?

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"It allows Glassholes to film their "entire night" of lovemaking, which may be a bit optimistic."

I'm sure the batteries can last for whole 5 minutes...

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Pint

Automatic point scoring.

I see little stars exploding in your view with "5pts" written on them..

Bonus boost scores for position changes and variation.

then your score is automatically posted to Google+ where nobody will see it.

Of course your mates (if you had any) would down the pub, "Only 400pts last night! hehehe"

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Re: Automatic point scoring.

One Up!

mario_dogs_princess_loop.gif

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Coat

Optional

I didn't see that one coming

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iCondom

Just a matter of time. Or has it already been done?

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