back to article Pint-glass-flashing FISHNAPPERS strike at Firefox daddy Mozilla

Tupac lives!* Aspirant mobile phone software provider and Firefox browser-maker Mozilla nearly lost its "golden staffers" just before Christmas, when Tupac and Biggie Smalls, the two goldfish from its reception, were fishnapped. Mozilla has a cool space at its Covent Garden offices which gets lent out to friendly companies and …

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  1. Natalie Gritpants

    Fishnapper was right

    "Tupac actually died" a few days after being returned. But that's OK, Mozilla got some fish back and they can now replace them. What's the half-life of a Tupac?

    Suggest they get an aquarium screensaver.

    1. John Gamble
      Alert

      Re: Fishnapper was right

      But who's to say it wasn't the ride in the pint glass that did them in?

      I suppose we can be glad the fishnappers didn't resort to duct tape and rope.

    2. ElReg!comments!Pierre

      Re: Fishnapper was right

      Fish acclimatation is notoriously the most risky part of the game. Being moved back and forth between different environments is probably what killed the fish (the capture and transportation in pint glasses can't have helped either).

    3. Euripides Pants
      Joke

      Re: Fishnapper was right

      "What's the half-life of a Tupac?"

      One third that of a six pack...

      1. D 13
        Headmaster

        Re: Fishnapper was right

        It really should be exactly the same as a six pack.

    4. xperroni

      Re: Fishnapper was right

      Suggest they get an aquarium screensaver.

      Indeed. "One day I came back home and found it floating titsup in the bowl" – that's what I heard from everyone I know who ever owned a goldfish. Never had one myself, it's too damn work for a pet that is either untouchable or dead.

      1. ProperDave

        Re: Fishnapper was right

        The issue I always had as a kid was the bloody things kept jumping out of their tank... surprisingly they survived the experience though, but it happened a good dozen times from about 3 of 6 different little blighters.

        Ended up having to put a plastic top on the tank!

    5. Cryo

      Re: Fishnapper was right

      I'd hardly say the fishnapper was right, since it was more likely the act of transporting them around in glasses and other conditions associated with the move that did them in. If they really thought there was a problem with the fish's accommodations, they'd have been better off discussing that with whoever was in charge.

  2. Eponymous Cowherd
    WTF?

    Taken for a Ride?

    "A Mozilla marketing source told El Reg: "Have you seen the film Taken with Liam Neeson? This whole thing played out in almost exactly the same way. What a roller-coaster." ®"

    A Mozilla hitman located the missing fish on a sheik's luxury yacht (after leaving a trail of corpses halfway around the world) and blew the his brains out before rescuing them?

    Bit extreme for a couple of goldfish, don't you think?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Re: Taken for a Ride?

      Not if they're large enough to bake.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Taken for a Ride?

        Not if they're large enough to bake.

        A few months ago one of the large Koi Carp in my pond died. My Sicilian father in law was shocked that we didn't grill and eat it. There again, I shouldn't really be surprised at what he'd consider eating, having seen people in Sicily rush out when it rains to collect snails that have been brought out of hiding by the moisture. They then boil them up to make a horrible looking soup ("ghiotta di babbaluceddi" in Sicilian dialect).

        1. Mage Silver badge

          Re: Taken for a Ride?

          Carp are a traditional if rather lacking in flavour fare for hundreds if not thousands of years. Some supermarkets have them live in the tank (though I only saw this in Foreign places). But I wouldn't eat anything that up and died on its own. I'm not a Rook*.

          (*UK Rooks found to be as clever with Tools as famous Caledonian Crows. Boffins surmise that normally they don't bother showing off such technological skills due to prevalence of Road Kill and other free nosh).

      2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Taken for a Ride?

        Not if they're large enough to bake.

        I prefer poaching in white wine or a good fish stock

        Mine is the one with Rick Stein's "Seafood" in the pocket

      3. Charles Manning

        How to cook carp

        1. Take one carp and one horse shoe and put in a pot.

        2. Boil until horse shoe is soft.

        3. Discard carp and eat horse shoe.

        Same recipe works for coot.

    2. Fink-Nottle

      Re: Taken for a Ride?

      > "Have you seen the film Taken with Liam Neeson?"

      More to the point; have you seen the film Lord of the Rings with Gollum?

      Fissssh, my preciousss.

  3. Simon Rockman

    Two fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this thing?".

    1. Pedigree-Pete
      Happy

      I wonder where that came from....

      ....one of my favorites in the great Jokes in two lines forum.

      http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2012/11/08/Charles_Calthrop_Jokes_of_no_more_than_2_lines/

      Happy Friday lunch everyone.

      1. imanidiot Silver badge

        Re: I wonder where that came from....

        Your link is incomplete, and I can't find any reference to it on the Reg at large or the forums.

  4. ukgnome
    Coat

    Hmm sounds a bit fish flakey

    Something definitely fishy.

    I mean cod you believe it?

    The fishnappers were probably well meaning angels, or perhaps a clown.

    Of course this could be a load of pollock. Or haddock you thought of that?

    *the one with the Grimsby Evening Telegraph in the pocket

    **we only sing when we're fishing

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hmm sounds a bit fish flakey

      You're a dab hand at these puns, so I wont carp about how bad they are.

      What the article omits though, is that a snapper was on hand to take a picture of the thief. It shows him sporting a mullet hairstyle, herring-bone twill trousers with eel-asticated waist and sharks-tooth patterned sweater. He made a clean getaway on a pair of skates.

      1. Swarthy
        Coat

        Re: Hmm sounds a bit fish flakey

        It's obvious the fishnappers did it for the Halibut. That they were angling for better treatment for the fish is simple cod-swollop. Altho I do hope they feel mahi remoras-full about the fate of the wrappers in the news. Seeing the arrow of their ways, they will be beta behaved next time.

    2. Mike Moyle

      Re: Hmm sounds a bit fish flakey

      @ ukgnome

      I coelacanth resist making horrible fish puns. I have a tench of that, myself, although I find that it seems to be cichlid in nature -- some days I can hake it or leave it; other times it has me walking around in a dace.

      1. Chris 171

        Re: Hmm sounds a bit fish flakey

        There is a time and plaice for jokes like this.

        That said, small (ish) tanks are fine and will happily support life, with the big if being how the water is looked after.

        Never clean the filter sponges under tap water (take a bowl full from the tank instead) and keep the fish hungry, tiny amounts and often is preferable to a cloud of food in the tank too.

        The moving stress did likely do the fella fella in however, from the Twitter pic they are (were?) ranchu goldfish which are essentially selectively bred genetic freaks. Handle with care.

  5. Glad all over

    Presumably...

    ...Microsoft also have a fish tank in the lobby. This one of course is populated with piranha, and it's crossed by a stylish but collapsible bridge.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Presumably...

      Nah, that's the tank in Oracle's lobby. Microsoft haven't got any fish in their tank - it's so badly made that all the water seeps out of the holes.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Coat

        Re: Presumably...

        "Microsoft haven't got any fish in their tank - it's so badly made that all the water seeps out of the holes."

        Yep. Of course the big mistake was to convert it to an enclosure to keep Komodo Dragons in, who promptly escaped through a series of well-known but unpatched holes in the tank and proceeded to consume the previous Windows Marketing team alive.

        And lo, Windows 8 was born.

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