back to article Google Glass pics will BAFFLE admirers: Nudge nudge, WINK WINK

Expect to see Google Glassholes winking at you from across the street in the next few weeks as a new update allows users of the high-tech specs to take photos with nothing more than a blink of one eye. The Chocolate Factory reckons this innovation will allow Glassholes to "stay in the moment" since all they have to do is wink to …

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Anonymous Coward

Google Vowel shift....

The internet was the place to w*nk... thanks to google glass's A->I vowel shift it will soon be the place to wink. Bloody winkers the lot of them!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Google Vowel shift....

Actually, putting the vowel back where it belongs (if you pardon the pun) actually makes the marketing gumpf closer to the truth. Wink at your girlfriend. Wink at the cop about to arrest you. Wink at the building site and get chased by randy builders (etc. I'll be here all week :) ).

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Anonymous Coward

Let me know...

When #GlassPunch starts trending

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Face mouse

Why not go the whole hog and turn your entire face into an input device?

Scratching your ear could turn up the volume.

A cough could tweet your location

Picking your nose could act like a mouse click - depending on which nostril you choose

and when someone takes offence and smacks you in the mouth - well, that could be the signal to switch off.

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Joke

Re: Face mouse

"and when someone takes offence and smacks you in the mouth - well, that could be the signal to switch off."

Continuing the analogy, would that count as a five finger salute then?

(Yes yes, I know, four fingers and one thumb. Hey, allow a little artistic licence here please....)

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Joke

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/glass_trolling.png

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Happy

Please link to the actual web page so we can see the mouseover text, thanks. http://xkcd.com/1304/

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That's an awful lot of accidental purchases and lawsuits just waiting to happen

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Anonymous Coward

.. in the blink of an eye ..

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No no, it'll be ok because within a few more winks you'll have hired a lawyer, brought a case and settled out of court. Who knows what will happen when your eyes widen when you see the legal bill you run up without hardly knowing it...

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"Who knows what will happen when your eyes widen when you see the legal bill you run up without hardly knowing it..."

The phrase "core dump" will get redefined.

We need a toilet icon...

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Allergies?

A bout of hay fever could bankrupt the Glassy-eyed! I like the information-source ideas for Glass (my middle-aged memory is like a dropped Rolodex) so I can remember people's names, but some of the other apps border on the creepy. At least the Glass makes those obnoxious "selfies" impossible!

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M7S
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Blockbuster

Further functionality to be added soon, as predicted in the 1970's

"....She could kill you with a wink of her eye,

Oh yeah, it was electric, so frantically hectic......"

Sweet

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Re: Blockbuster

For a minute there I thought you were going to go all Orwellian on me. Sweet.

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Anonymous Coward

Bunch of w*nkers.

Glass is a pervos dream. X-ray specs next.

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Coat

X-Ray specs next.

The only bone I want to see in a woman is m.....

Why yes, that is my coat, is it time to go?

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JDX
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Camera-phones were/are a perv's dream too. So are mini-cameras you can fit in a coathook or your hat/lapel. So what?

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Anonymous Coward

So, we are in agreement that this product is designed for pervs then?

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So, we are in agreement that this product is designed for pervs then?

I'm sure even Fox Talbot had thoughts about secretly photographing the skullery maid when he was perfecting his process.

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All seems scary

Is it me getting old or is the prospect of sitting the room while people are winking taking pictures and getting a constant stream of information a bit scary.

I know you could argue that its no different to people using their smartphones but it just feels a bit more sinister.......

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Anonymous Coward

Great, so now an unfortunately timed sneeze will see some random clothing/shoes turn up at my house in my size. Marvelous.

"Darling why is someone delivering size 12 stilletoes?"

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And more importantly, how do you know your size stilettoes already? (Given Men's and Women's sizes are different)

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Facepalm

Actually, no they're not. Shoe sizes are the same for both....

Oh bugger.

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Shoe sizes

Mens' and womens' shoe sizes are not the same in the US. My husband and I are about the same size in shoes (we can borrow each others' muck boots to go into the garden) but our number shoe size is about two numbers off - I'm a 10, he's an 8 1/2. But the only way either of us would look at a pair of Jimmy Choos would be to blink at the price, or roll eyes at the idiocy of anyone who would torture themselves with them.

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POV

Just got more sneaky.

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Getting closer to Beeblebrox's problem

The requirement to sit absolutely still to actually *do* anything...

Although the google glass does strike me as having been foreseen in Brin's (no, not that one) 'Earth'.

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Anonymous Coward

Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

of a big fist about to strike the wearer of the dumb things when they try to take pictures of the fists owner without permission.

Don't forget that google will no doubt add them to their library of faces and fists that they supply to the NSA, ad men and other users of your data.

I am looking forward to the time when someone had F**k Google' tattooed on their fist just for this purpose.

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Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

Please tell me where you (roughly) live. I'd like to give away non-functional "Glasses" look-aliked to local

Skinheads

Punks

Rockers

....

and than wait for the funny videos showing the lone "defender of privacy" doing a "Danger Seeker"

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Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

"Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

of a big fist about to strike the wearer of the dumb things when they try to take pictures of the fists owner without permission.

Don't forget that google will no doubt add them to their library of faces and fists that they supply to the NSA, ad men and other users of your data.

I am looking forward to the time when someone had F**k Google' tattooed on their fist just for this purpose."

Of course, if people do start punching people for wearing glasses (Google or not), the ability to upload pictures of the attacker's face and fist to the Internet, maybe together with an automatic phone call to the police to arrest the person for assault, might be a useful app for them.

Edit: In general, I think committing a violent crime against someone who is recording the whole thing might not be the smartest move on someone's part, in which case we can expect to see more violent thugs, who attack people already but with relatively little consequence, to end up in front of the beak more often as the evidence is so overwhelming that the CPS cannot drop it for "insufficient evidence" (read: we cannot be bothered).

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Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

If you're mugged in London, the police don't even look at CCTV to see if they can ID them, why would they look at user produced footage?

This would divert them from important work, like entering the details of the next mugging in to the system.

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Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

DavCrav - The question you have to ask is 'What would Dick Jones do?"

Steven R

(It's a robocop reference, for reference. Remember how that film ended?)

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Anonymous Coward

@DavCrav - smartest move

Well yeah there is that, but on the other hand the kind of person who would punch you in the face for pissing him off won't care about the consequences anyway.

Of course you would then have the satisfaction of knowing the CPS won't prosecute because of insufficient evidence as they do now for CCTV cameras, (while you're having the bits of broken glass dug out of your eyeballs in the emergency room).

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

If you are the sort of thug who would punch someone for wearing Glass then you are the sort of thug who would punch someone "for looking at my missus", or "being a funny colour" or "don't like the way you dress".

A thug is a criminal and at least the evidence of them doing can start getting them locked up and taking them off the street.

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Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

I thought the "question you have to ask" was "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?"

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Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

Don't punch them, or break their Glass. Just get one person to hold them still while you apply *something* to the lenses.

*could be a sticker, jam, an angry bee, anything that wont cause an actual offence, but would be annoying for the wearer. Rinse and repeat every time they clean them.

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Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

Don't punch them, or break their Glass. Just get one person to hold them still while you apply *something* to the lenses.

*could be a sticker, jam, an angry bee, anything that wont cause an actual offence, but would be annoying for the wearer. Rinse and repeat every time they clean them.

I think you'll find that's still an offense.

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Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

Likely to presage the return of the Rabbit Punch...

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WTF?

Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

Skinheads, Punks and Rockers? Why don't you give them to some Teddy Boys too, Grandad?

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Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

A nice lapel pin with an IR LED should take care of Google's camera.

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Anonymous Coward

trouble already

I can't say too much because I'm not sure if the cops are going to pursue this matter.

Let's just say that in a certain pub a certain person was secretly recording someone and their phone got destroyed somehow. Allegedly.

With GG this is going to happen regularly.

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Re: trouble already

"I can't say too much because I'm not sure if the cops are going to pursue this matter.

Let's just say that in a certain pub a certain person was secretly recording someone and their phone got destroyed somehow. Allegedly.

With GG this is going to happen regularly."

It's mostly going to be people who already have a propensity to cause criminal damage who do this, but this time with the added bonus of their crimes being broadcast online, for easy pursuit in the civil courts if the CPS is the complete bunch of useless twunts that they were when my Dad's car got broken into and there was "insufficient evidence", despite him catching the guy who was doing it, and CCTV footage of him catching the guy while he was breaking into the car.

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JDX
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Expect to see Google Glassholes winking at you from across the street

I've yet to see anyone with them. Are they even in mainstream production yet?

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Anonymous Coward

So...

People with nervous tics are going to face financial ruin?

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Re: So...

well, at first just really large photo albums...

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whatever next?

phones that you can carry with you? with cameras built in? or some sort of global search tool where you can put in someones name and see all the dodgy websites they take part in?

shurely one can think of at least 50 potential scenario where this tech could overturn the very fabric of society?

Can you imagine what would happen if peadophiles got hold of desktop printers and started to carpetbomb every city on earth with cheaply printed child pornography?

Nothing bears thinking of anymore... any tech on top of what we have today will lead us into our own destruction.

PS. If someone wears their google glasses to bed, or sets up a camera on a tripod next to it; assume that they want to film you having sex, and either agree to be filmed in the heat of the moment or make your displeasure at the prospect known before the carnal activities commence.

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Re: whatever next?

My phone camera has a loud annoying shutter noise that can't be disabled. Every camera phone I have had does. I heard it was a legal requirement in either Japan/Korea and the phone makers all want that market.

Any truth to this?

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Re: whatever next?

Don't know about that, but have you tried SC-OS for Android? It allows you to automatically take pictures every couple of seconds with no shutter sound or screen display.

Or so I'm told. Oh, is that the time? Must rush

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Re: whatever next?

Well, my Galaxy Note doesn't make shutter noises when set to silent or vibrate only (using the Sound Profile app). I hate shutter noise (one of the reasons I was glad to see the back of film cameras), regardless of what the subject of the photo is.

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Re: whatever next?

Nothing bears thinking of anymore... any tech on top of what we have today will lead us into our own destruction.

Or perhaps this particular technology is simply a way for annoying people to become even more annoying, and that's bad enough.

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