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back to article Apple CEO Cook breaks YEARS OF SILENCE, finally speaks to El Reg hack

Tim Cook has broken a decade of fruity silence and finally exchanged a few words with The Register. His famous, dead genius predecessor Steve Jobs famously stopped talking to us after one of our hacks took the mickey out of his bizarre pre-baldness hairstyle*. Many years of total silence, prohibition from briefings, etc …

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Holmes

What's an iPad?

Is that some cheap knock off copy of an Android tablet?

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Hairstyle

No doubt this retro hairdo will become the de rigueur style of Fanbois wishing to emulate their hero.

Much like the Kevin Keegan perm or the Bono mullet.

Now the Jobs Comb Over.

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Re: What's an iPad?

If it says 'Sent from my iPad' then its a signature added by most a lot of people to their android setup. Its a bit like having to set you browser to IE to get some stupid government site to do something really simple.

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Re: What's an iPad?

Is that some cheap knock off copy of an Android tablet?

No. It's not cheap.

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Re: What's an iPad?

What's a Bob Vistakin? Is that some sort of cheap knockoff of a human being?

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Re: What's an iPad?

No Steve...it's a upgraded model of a Steve Todd...but till cheap. :-)

Best,

Tim

Sent from my iPad

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Devil

Re: What's an iPad?

You seem to confuse "cheap knock-off" with "expensive ripp-off" ... <BFEG>

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not well inspired hack, then

"His famous, dead genius predecessor Steve Jobs famously stopped talking to us after one of our hacks took the mickey out of his bizarre pre-baldness hairstyle*."

Hmmm, link ? Whoever that hack may have been, he was certainly not well inspired that day ...

I'm not bald nor pre-bald, but I certainly know tons of folks who would take pre-baldness jokes from anyone else quite badly (or baldly :-).

Then, as Jobs didn't seem to be the very tolerant kind, he banned El Reg company wide for a decade, which is indeed quite overkill.

Hack lesson: don't mess with baldness.

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Coat

Re: don't mess with baldness.

OK: keep your hair on...

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Re: don't mess with baldness.

For some of us, that doesn't appear to be possible without the use of glue. Mine is vanishing, and based on observing my father's progressive hair loss, I might have to become a manager if I end up looking like Dilbert's PHB. In the meantime, I can't see it so I try not to let it bother me.

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Facepalm

So, lemme get thtis straight...

...one of El Reg's intrepid reporters made an offhand wisecrack about the Saviour's hairstyle, and that was all it took to get the corporate cold shoulder for all this time?

Wow...just wow! Words fail....

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Meh

It's not that bizarre, he just looks a bit like Richard Whitley

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Coat

he just looks a bit like Richard Whitley

They look even more alike today. What? Too soon?

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lookalike

Richard Whiteley? Well, if you squint and don't look at the screen.

Jobs looks exactly like George Costanza. Google it.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: lookalike

More like George Costanza's slim brother.

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WTF?

I always thought it was Jagwire wot did it

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2002/06/18/apple_announces_first_rack_servers/

Commentards demand an explanation.

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Re: I always thought it was Jagwire wot did it

A glimpse of a silver case was all we saw of this, which for the first time brings Apple consumer design talents to the most utilitarian of backroom computers: the rack.

It's kinda funny to read this now, a good ten years later, and remember how Apple went through the trouble of establishing itself as an enterprise vendor – just to waste it when it became clear its consumer-aimed iStuff would seize the day, leaving the poor folks who bet on the Fruity corp stranded.

Tech comes and goes, but Apple's disregard to their customers is timeless.

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Coat

What about Tim Cook

Tim Cook was even worse, he tried to "emulate" steve by wearing the jeans and the turtlenecks.... Steve was bad enough with his haircuts etc but it is even worse that someone would want to copy the whole look.

Windows/DOS = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop ( debateable with TIKAM).

MacOs = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop.

Android = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop.

Digital/Dec Vax = A true outsider.

Therefore MacOs, Android and Windows are step brothers/sisters.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What about Tim Cook

Windows is a variation of UNIX with a nicer desktop, but vax (by which I presume you mean vms) upon which NT is based is a true outsider?

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Re: What about Tim Cook

Huh?

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Re: What about Tim Cook

>Huh?

Have a look at the little icon on the right hand side, there might have been a little bit of tongue in cheek involved.....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What about Tim Cook

VMS was also the inspiration for EPOC32 (Psion) which then become Symbian.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What about Tim Cook

"VMS was also the inspiration for EPOC32 (Psion)"

Really? Anyone got sources for that (other than unreferenced assertions in Wikipedia)?

Both quality OSes, both doomed by their unfashionableness and by the lack of a revenue-generating ecosystem to promote them (no need for an ecosystem, those two were mostly fit and forget, unlike some other more fashionable OSes which were seen as ongoing revenue opportunities by an ecosystem of dependent traders).

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Amusing.

I note that Hamill does not quote his own words to Tim Cook that prompted this terse reply that is being paraded around like a Native American's scalp.

Judging by the thanks in the reply however it must have been THE MOST Bum-licky, two-faced, sycophantic crud yet from the bullshitmeister. Nice that he takes the time to regularly message somebody he has such contempt for though with such praise though.

Please sir can we see your message so I can laugh at your pathetic journalism career some more, please, please?

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Re: Amusing.

Those who can, do.

Those who can't do, teach

Those who can't teach, teach teachers

Those who can't teach teachers, become journalists

Those who can't do, teach, teach teachers, or become journalists, become politicians

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Amusing.

The butthurt is strong with this one

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Re: Amusing.

Dear Fruity CEO, I would just like to drop you a fruity message to wish you and your fruity firm all the fruity best for the fruity New Year. Jasper

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Amusing.

Those who can't teach, inspect

FTFY

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Coat

Re: Amusing.

Those who can't teach, teach gym.

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Anonymous Coward

Smacks of desperation, on both sides!

Apple are now so desperate, they have to rekindle severed relationships. Reg, is your tongue brown?

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Re: Smacks of desperation, on both sides!

Of course. Apple are desperate to get in The Register's good books. Because that would mean that The Register would carry stories about Apple. Unlike now, where it's never mentioned on the site.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Smacks of desperation, on both sides!

That is not quite true. I do recall several fashion articles relating to keynote speeches by Apple execs. Thanks to the Reg Fashion Pages - We all know that Steve invented the turtleneck.

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Anonymous Coward

"Best" is not just a word

...it's a fucking sentence. I have never understood the origin of "Best" when used to close an email. Best what??? I understand "Best regards", but just "Best"?

Urban Dictionary shares my frustration, but I still don't understand the origin:

(1) An elitist assholean method for signing email

(2) An email signature indicative of a laziness too pervasive to finish what one started (by simply adding the word 'regards' followed by a comma).

Answers on a postcard, please.

Best,

R Tape

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "Best" is not just a word

Pedant.

Or is that not sufficiently sentencey for you?

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Gimp

Re: "Best" is just not a word

No words from Mr Cook about of the release date of the Mac Pro then?

All the best!

Dick

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Re: "Best" is not just a word

Interesting... I would have mentally autocompleted "Best..." with "...wishes". Kind regards, if the regards need an adjective, shurely?

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Gold badge

Re: "Best" is just not a word

No news on the new Mac Pro, no.

But there is a new model due soon - the Mac minipro. However this one needs a Thunderbolt to Ethernet cable, a collection of Thunderbolt to Sata cables, and a Thunderbolt to PCI enclose to come close to a Mac Pro, but still won't even support the amount of RAM that a Mac pro from years ago supports :(

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Re: "Best" is not just a word

"Pedant. Or is that not sufficiently sentencey for you?"

You realise that "pedant" is one of the highest accolades a commentard can receive?

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Trollface

Re: "Best" is not just a word

Best is a sentence because internet.

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Vic
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Pint

Re: "Best" is not just a word

> Best what???

Bitter, of course :-)

Vic.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "Best" is just not a word

> All the best!

Who you calling a dick?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "Best" is just not a word

> Who you calling a dick?

Sorry, I didn't notice your name is Richard. :-b

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Re: "Best" is not just a word

I use "Best" all the time. It's as redundant as all the alternatives are but it saves precious bytes allowing me to avoid Virgin Media's bandwidth throttling for just that bit longer...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: a collection of Thunderbolt to Santa cables

That'll be for Donner and Blitzen's interconnect to the Lightning wotsit?

I'll get my coat. Red, with white decorative parts.

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This is...

The clearest sign of the impending apocalypse ever. Hell just froze over.

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The title of the article should be...

"Technology Site Duped By 10 line script into thinking that the Apple CEO replied to them"

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Re: The title of the article should be...

Nah it's legit.

If it WAS Siri, it would Shirley have pointed out some nearby coffee house.

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Alien

Be careful what you ask for...

...you might get it.

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Isn't that one of the seven signs or something.....

...And the gates reopened for the vulture, and the journey began anew. Where Eve had left the Apple(Insert Trademark Symbol Here!), the Vulture seized upon, and hell followed suite.

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WTF?

Whaaat?

This comment thread has managed to start at the bottom of the barrel and work it's way steadily downwards!

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