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back to article Chinese gamer plays on while BMW burns to the ground

A Nanjing man was almost burned alive in his BMW because he was so engrossed playing a mobile phone game, according to local reports. This latest in a long line of “crazy Chinese gamer” yarns for once doesn’t involve murder, physical abuse or other tragedy, with the BMW owner escaping with his life. A passer-by, surnamed Wang, …

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One wonders if the story would have garnered as much interest if the BMW owner had simply been engrossed in a book when his car caught fire.

Come now, you know the answer to that one. Books don't require batteries, so therefore don't run on Devil Juice. Computer games on the other hand, are powered by lost souls and Satan. How else do you think they get the little people on the screen? Poor buggers, condemned to an eternity of war so that you can play CoD.

Repent!

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"Books don't require batteries" - Today, some do, don't they?

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People who become engrossed in books may not notice something like a fire under their car but once alerted would take action to get out of the car.

Some people (and I am in no way thinking of my sons) who become engrossed in a video game would either not even notice someone shouting at them that the car was on fire or they would reply 'I'll just finish this bit...." and not get out of the car.

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Go

People reading books can become equally engrossed. I used to get into a lot of trouble as a kid for tuning out when reading an enjoyable novel, to the point where my Dad would have to throw something at me after shouting at me for 2 minutes.

So dont think that only video games can engross someone, people have the ability to become absorbed in almost anything if they choose to...

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"People who become engrossed in books may not notice something like a fire under their car but once alerted would take action to get out of the car."

Perhaps the guy was in a dodgy area and at first thought the passer by was simply trying to get him to exit the vehicle so he could steal the car?

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Apparently the driver didn't hesitate in exiting the vehicle, he merely had a bit of tunnel vision and didn't notice the car was burning prior to it being brought to his attention. Given the BMW drivers I am regularly forced to deal with on the highway it comes as no surprise the driver ignored the rest of the world revolving around him.

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Or maybe ...

Please use only genuine BMWs. Imitation beemers constitute a severe fire risk ...

(but thanks to Bing translator for the classic phrase "Wang .... suddenly saw BMW ejected beneath the Martian")

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Re: Or maybe ...

> Imitation beemers constitute a severe fire risk ...

Ironically enough, this is actually true...

http://blogs.automotive.com/audi-recall-s6-and-s7-models-called-back-after-fire-risk-154389.html

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Joke

He needs medical care

To cure him of his addiction to BMW's

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Anonymous Coward

Re: He needs medical care

BMW's what? Come on. Finish the punchline.

Or did you think apostrophes make things plural?

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Headmaster

Re: He needs medical care

Of course, sometimes it is acceptable to use apostrophes to show the plural of abbreviations, but only in difficult plurals. For example, there are two i's in addiction. This makes things easier for the reader. That said, in this case, there is no confusion writing BMWs, so the apostrophe usage here is grammar Nazi manna.

http://www.grammar-monster.com/lessons/apostrophes_show_plural_of_abbreviations.htm

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Re: He needs medical care

" with the BMW owner escaping with his life."

So, no happy ending, then?

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Headmaster

Re: He needs medical care

That said, in this case, there is no confusion writing BMWs, so the apostrophe usage here is grammar Nazi manna.

Mythical jewish grammar nazis from heaven?

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Surely this is just natural selection working it's will? The passerby clearly prevented natural selection from working and now this guy who is clearly too stupid to survive without assistance will end up spreading his DNA and creating more stupid people. This is why I keep arguing that computer viruses should be more explosive / deadly. We'd be rid of almost all malware in a few years - because the idiots who don't know any better - wouldn't be around to click on "your media player is out of date, click here to upgrade it" or "while you were sitting here innocently surfing the web, we scanned your computer magically without installing any software to do it, and we discovered you had 99 bazillion problems, but because we are so nice we are going to let you click here and download our super amazing virus exterminator 2099 software to clean up your machine, aren't we nice? We have absolutely no ulterior motives for getting you to download this!"

While we are at it actually, we should also have a cull on ANYONE on Facebook who reshares crap that a quick Google will reveal to be bollocks. Like "if you cut an onion in half and leave it in your room overnight it will absorb all the germs in the air and stop you getting sick, but because of this magical property of onions, you must never eat an onion that has been cut in half for more than a day - or you will die" or my personal favourite "blah blah blah, dire consequences, look snopes.com has confirmed this to be true" - with an included link to the article on snopes.com that confirms it to be false, but everyone still bloody reshares it anyway!

GAH!

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Facebook - solution

Idiots reshare idiot stuff, and to make things worse they think you're also an idiot who needs educating about pork and coca cola, magic onions etc. Unless you are masochistic, are those people really your friends? You mention the self selecting nature of virus targets, perhaps Facebook membership is also self selection into the idiot pool?

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Re: Facebook - solution

"Unless you are masochistic, are those people really your friends?"

In my case most of them are family, mostly over 60 and just share any crap, but you can't really block family can you? (although you can hide them from your news feed.)

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Re: Facebook - solution

Although I hate to defend FaecesBook, this problem is not limited to - and did not start - there. The same people that 'share' this crap on FaecesBook, if they didn't have that site, would share it by emailing it out to every single one of the people in their email contacts.

And some people do both - sharing it via FaecesBook if that's where they received/saw it, and by email if that's where they received/saw it. And no doubt by other means, as well.

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Anonymous Coward

"we discovered you had 99 bazillion problems"

...but a bitch ain't one?

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Do you feel real ill when you start to chill?

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This is why we should stick with safe and clean electric cars. These newfangled liquid hydrocarbon contraptions are just fireballs waiting to be lit.

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Mushroom

Never seen a lithium battery go bang then?

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Try google with the following three little words

Tesla Fire NHTSA

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Yup - if it had been a Tesla rather than a BMW he would have been safe in the car while it burned!

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Loud whooshing sound

Several commentards get stiff necks from looking up

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Yooof ?

"it will still add weight to the argument of some hardline commentators that video games are destroying the nation’s youth"

Where in the news report does it say anything about their ages? Anyway, with China's over-population it sounds like a few less yooof would help things, especially by Darwinian selection.

Is China so crowded that parking in the street is the only place you can find to play a game? China must be a lot more liberal than the UK in this - park in a UK shopping street like the one in the photo and you'd soon either have a penalty sticker or a few earfuls from other drivers.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Yooof ?

Overpopulation not really an issue, an aging population is...

But even scarier is the male/female imbalance.. there are way too many boys and not enough girls... And that is in a country where openly being homosexual is very rare, I think their government should encourage it, a great way to keep the population under control and provide stable homes for orphans....

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Re: Yooof ?

A question that will inevitably be asked:

"What can we do to stop the rise of these evil video games?"

A question that almost certainly won't be asked:

"Why are these people so unhappy that they have to obsessively play games and how can we make their lives better?"

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Re: Yooof ?

Traditionally one way to deal with an over-population is to take someone elses' land- using any excess males to do so.

hmm.

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Coming soon...

"Lazy yoof sleeps through house fire"

As much as it's enjoyable to take the piss out of someone not noticing imminent danger the presumption seems to be that they should have noticed the fire. There's no evidence that they, or anyone else in the same situation, would have at that point.

Would they have died in their car, obsessed with completing the level they are on, while flames engulfed them? We can only guess but it seems unlikely, despite that being the spin put on the story.

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No-one has provided the most important piece of information yet....

What game was he playing?

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Trollface

Re:What game was he playing?

... or wether this BMW was petrol or Diesel. What model? (My guess a 525...hard to tell from what's left). Also, was it equipped with a "Lotus" style alarm system?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmpBYcM06Sk

Probably a cheap knock-off of this system.

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Not just games

When I was young and even more of an idiot than I am now, I noticed that my bean bag had caught fire while enjoying 'relations' with my girlfriend. I decided not to act immediately, as my mission was not quite complete. Happily, we both survived (unlike the bean bag, or indeed the relationship).

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Re: Not just games

Cheating on you with your own chair? What a hussy!

It is my impression, by the way, that "bean bag" is or was Barbadian slang for part of the male equipment...

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Re: Not just games

I could make all kinds of jokes about hot sex or the heat of passion here, but I'll refrain out of propriety.

Ok. That's a lie. I just can't choose which of the cheesy puns that jumped through my heads as I read your post to use.

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Re: Not just games

I'm one of apparently 3 people on the planet that remembers the name Duffy Moon. I've lifted some heavy rocks with his inspiration...

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Re: Not just games

You can do it!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Not just games

Had a similar problem once, but it was the girls hair that caught fire (from an errant candle). Pausing for a moment to extinguish her seemed prudent.

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Anonymous Coward

Fire! Fire!

FFS i am! but the bugger moves too fast, I'll get him this time...

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To be fair it's rather difficult for someone inside the car to know that the undercarriage is on fire until the flames are licking their feet through the floor boards (or the gas tank, in which case the people inside the car likely still won't know the car's on fire as they pass into the great beyond).

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Anonymous Coward

BMW...

a.k.a. Burn My Wireless ;)

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Re: BMW...

Oh, do they fit wirelesses in BMW these days? They certainly are moving up market.

Phil.

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Anonymous Coward

No BMW driver has ever read a book...

... unless it was titled 'How to drive too fast like a twat up someones arse'

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Zot
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A stationary BMW catches fire? How?

That's the biggest mystery here.

And that second to last paragraph, shouldn't it say makers of video games are like drug dealers, not the people playing them?

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Re: A stationary BMW catches fire? How?

Round these parts, the most common way for a stationary car's undercarriage to catch fire is the hot exhaust pipe (and very hot catalytic converters) setting fire to long dry grass. Drivers who regularly go off-roading know not to park over long dry grass, some city folk don't.

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Hilarious

This is funny. Like folks with no larynx due to tobacco, smoking through the hole in their neck. The whole concept is funny. And would be if the guy had been engaged in sex, or any number of notoriously engrossing activities. Not because there's anything funny about injury, but just because.

Ruining those who do it? WTF does that mean? It's voluntary, so doing it can't ruin anything. Ruin is when you want a house, but it burns down. Ruin is not when you set fire to the house intentionally to roast marsh mellows.

No one's business how people spend their time or their money. If someone would rather finish their chapter and burn alive, instead of losing the book and getting out, it's their choice. Where do these tyrants get off claiming a right to restrict smoking drinking gaming etc.?

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Bah!

So the Chinese yoofs are addicted to pointless video games. Excellent.

Now if we can just get their bankers on the same page as ours the playing field should level out nicely once more.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bah!

We need our bankers on the same page as theirs.

http://www.thomhartmann.com/forum/2011/11/chinese-fund-managers-sentenced-death-after-cheating-investors-out-1-billion-usd

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Seems to me...

...BMWs are now so boring and ubiquitous nobody takes a second glance even when one is ablaze.

Congratulations on your new euro box toaster.

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to inform you of a fire...

No no, too formal.

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Look forward to hearing from you.

Maurice Moss.

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Flame

The article doesn't mention it, but I bet the guy was sitting in the car with the engine running and eventually the catalytic converter overheated (without a moving air flow to cool it) and it got hot enough to set the car on fire.

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