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back to article Developer unleashes bowel-shaking KILLER APP for Google Glass

If the success of any mobile device platform depends on the quality of the apps available for it, then Google Glass developer Hung Truong has just brought Google's high-tech headsets one step closer to being on par with devices from mobile heavyweights like Apple and Samsung. A recent convert to Glass and Android app development …

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Forget farts, this is the app that should be made:

I'm crushing your head!

with the followup

I'm pinching your face!

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Further proof that these things are childish toys.

::shrugs::

Do grow up, gookids. The adults in the room are not impressed.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Further proof that these things are childish toys.

QED - the number of downvotes prove you're right

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Re: Further proof that these things are childish toys.

'Adults' are comfortable enough to laugh at the absuritities of the world. It's the children who haven't yet grown up and are in over their heads just managing through life who take everything seriously. I will laugh at the silly bullshit and it will have zero impact on my very serious business or my bank account.

It's a fairly significant fundamental failing to be unable to seperate the silly from the serious. If you can't handle that, then you certainly can't cope when things really do turn serious.

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@jake Re: Further proof that these things are childish toys.

It's nothing of the sort - if it were, you'd have to brand pretty much every personal electronic device a "childish toy" (although now I think of it.... but, no). Pretty much every mobile OS you can think of has fart apps - iOS, Android, Windows Phone, even Blackberry OS - they have become a sort of Hello World app for them. Yes, of course they're childish, but you really can't use it as proof of anything except perhaps your own bigotry.

You might hate GoogleGlass (you seem to) which is fine, entirely your choice, and you may consider anyone who touches one an idiot - although that seems simple-minded to me but is very much 'on trend' - but one person developing a fart app to test out the SDK really backs up none of that. I mean, did you actually read the article ? ... or even his posting about what he was doing and why ?... and his opinion of the device ? You probably have more in common with him than you think.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Further proof that these things are childish toys.

@Thegreatwhazoo - I suspect a fair portion of the downvotes are not for the sentiment but because it's Jake.

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Exactly, Nicho (was: Re: Further proof that these things are childish toys.)

I'm an evil-meany-poo-poo-head who has been around the block a few times, and the children in the audience seem to think that sticking their thumbs somewhere will somehow make me go away.

Sad, that.

Thumbs in this forum, as implemented, are completely meaningless.

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Re: Further proof that these things are childish toys.

@Nicho - or because it's someone daring to speak badly of their beloved Google...

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...meaningless........

I miss Eadon.....

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Re: Further proof that these things are childish toys.

I for one like playing with childish toys.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Further proof that these things are childish toys.

Jake,

Please do try and look up "Kids in the Hall" a Canadian comedy show from the 80's. You might improve your humor quotient somewhat. It would certainly help your understanding of obtuse comic references.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Exactly, Nicho (was: Further proof that these things are childish toys.)

You do youself a great injustice, jake.

Nobody believes you are evil.

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Fart app graph please

After 8 years the rate of release really ought to be reaching an asymptote on iOS. Unless there is something really weird going on. What kind of thought processes are involved in a developer now deciding that a fart app is the way to go?

Unless of course there are new challenges and frontiers in the field of fart apps that my blind prejudice has prevented me from appreciating. Any aficionados out there who can ... Ahem.... spill the beans?

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Boffin

Re: David Glasgow Re: Fart app graph please

".....What kind of thought processes are involved in a developer now deciding that a fart app is the way to go?....." It seems that fart apps have become the new "hello world".

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Coat

Re: David Glasgow Fart app graph please

" It seems that fart apps have become the new "hello world".

That sound like the wrong kind of follow through up.

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Boffin

Glasshole killer app involves dog turds

The killer app for Glassholes will be the dog turd spotter - as you walk around your glasses scan the terrain and identify potential piles of turd that it can then highlight on the display, thus allowing you to avoid the embarrassment of getting crap all over your shoes. It's about the only useful app I can think of for Google Glass.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Glasshole killer app involves dog turds

If that's the only useful app you can think of for Google Glass, then you have all the creativity of an xfactor contestant.

Even off the top of my head I can name 10 really useful apps with no prompting or searching. I'm really excited about what Google Glass could bring. There is a massive social barrier, and posts like yours have the clear intent to build that barrier.

1/ Turn by turn directions.

2/ Scores and stats for fans in the crowd at live sporting events i.e. lap times and places in F1/MotoGP

3/ Places of interest nearby popups.

4/ Recognition of music /movies on in the room and displaying information on that artist.

5/ Live translation of spoken foreign language onscreen.

6/ Sports stats, for example worn whilst skiing it would show you what run you were on and how far to the lift, current speed etc.

7/ Musician app that showed lyrics or sheet music whilst playing and scrolled as you played.

8/ Shopping price comparisons "did you know this is cheaper across the road?"

9/ A really cool modification to Google Sky that labelled the stars you were looking at

10/A augmented reality view that labelled creativity lacking mungnuts that automatically have knee-jerk reactions to new technologies like the wheel and fire.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Glasshole killer app involves dog turds

@ac 15:34 tsk. This is your idea of creativity ? The OP at least described something that would only really work with a HMD. Every single item on your list apart from the obvious turn by turn directions, can be done satisfactorily with a handset app.

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Re: Glasshole killer app involves dog turds

And adverts, lots and lots of adverts - it is Google after all.

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Re: Glasshole killer app involves dog turds

"Every single item on your list apart from the obvious turn by turn directions, can be done satisfactorily with a handset app."

^ What he said.

Glass does however present a very realistic set of new opportunities for the budding criminal, which are not so satisfactory on a traditional handset.

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Coat

Re: Glasshole killer app involves dog turds

1/ ... with adverts between directions based on previous places you have visited

2/ ... with adverts for products from sponsors of teams in said events

3/ ... adverts for anything nearby that fits in with your profile

4/ ... with adverts to download this and similar artists

5/ ... so even if you are abroad, you can still be targeted for local adverts

6/ ... (see 2)

7/ ... (see 4)

8/ ... (see 3)

9/ ... with adverts for Milky Way bars

10/ ... with adverts for "[insert Google approved technology here] for Dummies" downloads.

Mine's the one with the "do not track" cookie in the pocket.

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@RyokuMas, Re: Glasshole killer app involves dog turds

This suggests the killer app for Google Glass is AdBlock

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Stop

Re: @RyokuMas, Glasshole killer app involves dog turds

... dont' Google block that?

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Re: Glasshole killer app involves dog turds

I am intrigued... Can one of the downvoters please explain what is incorrect (and why) with this statement: "Glass does however present a very realistic set of new opportunities for the budding criminal, which are not so satisfactory on a traditional handset."

Thank you :)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Glasshole killer app involves dog turds

> This is your idea of creativity ? The OP at least described something that would only really work with a HMD. Every single item on your list apart from the obvious turn by turn directions, can be done satisfactorily with a handset app.

Or with laptop with 3g/GPS built in. If anyone ever invents smartphones or tablets we'll predict failure, shall we?

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Terminator

HOW ABOUT A "ROBOCOP" APP?...

...you know, the set-piece (in Robo one) where Robo storms the drugs factory and targets the crim's with a red reticule, highlighting their outline and logging their position before fucking them up with that kickass gun of his....obviously the app would be none lethal, but it wouldn't be great, when wearing The Glass, that whenever someone came in to your field of vision they would be 'targeted' (sorry) 'highlighted' in this way?

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Austin Powers App

Anyone remember Austin Powers 3, when he was sitting across the sumo wrestling ring and with a touch of the side of his glasses was able to zoom in really nice and tight on Fat Bastard?

Well, being legally blind myself, I saw those glasses and immediately thought, "I WANT!!!!" I'd love to be able to zoom in on something far away to be able to see it close up without having to whip out a pair of binoculars or a monocular that just makes me look like a total prat. For that matter, if my Android Phone can have a magnifier app that just makes use of the camera, then the same principle could apply to Google Glass right?

Although....as much as I would love to have that ability, the social awkwardness of walking around with that strapped to my head and the $1500 hole it would burn in my already burnt pockets become two major roadblocks I just can't see being lifted any time real soon.

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Re: Austin Powers App

Brilliant idea stephajn but with one fatal flaw, i and every other bloke, would end up using it for "ZOOMING IN" on women's "TITS" and after a while would end up "Legally Blind" like you.

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Re: Austin Powers App

"...I and every other bloke would end up using it for "ZOOMING IN" on women's "TITS"..."

Even Graham Norton?

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Go

Re: Austin Powers App

Well, Ted, i for one would not prohibit him from "ZOOMING IN" on women's "TITS" if that's what he wanted to do. But a good point well made none the less...just out of curiosity, "ZOOMING IN" on women's "TITS" are you for or against? While you mull that over, have an upvote.

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@stephajn (was: Re: Austin Powers App)

The only problem with your comment is that so-called "digital zoom" doesn't work very wellat all. It's the reality of light and optics. The gookids glassticles don't have enough lens and linear space to zoom in on anything.

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Wow, what a complete waste of CPU cycles.

That is all.

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Go

Re: Wow, what a complete waste of CPU cycles.

That is NOT all Pete!!

I don't think that you fully appreciate the "creativity" that is going on here. My "Robocop Targeting Reticule" app, certainly has traction but Stephjn's "Austin Powers/ZOOMING IN ON WOMEN'S TITS for legally blind people" app has "Winner" written all over it and has certainly fired up my interest in GOGGLE GLASS. So come on Pete be part of the solution not the problem....GO BRITAIN!!!

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Happy

Re: Wow, what a complete waste of CPU cycles.

I'm a bit slow today, I actually got as far as 'creativity' before I realised you were taking the piss! ;)

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Go

Re: Wow, what a complete waste of CPU cycles.

i admire your candor sir and give you an upvote.

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Facepalm

"The public acceptance of the device is another."

And he believes fart apps help in their own small way to make the public accept Glass that little bit more?

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Becoming normal

I think the point is that this device category is in transition from science-fiction nonsense to just a normal thing - granted, a normal thing that you're currently not allowed to use in a car or in a restaurant. And the price still isn't normal either, and I don't know how well it works with real spectacles. But we can see from here the time when a gadget like this is just something that you buy in a computer store if you want it, if there are still computer stores. Maybe all you have to do is watch a TV ad for it and nod. (Now -there's- a bad idea, one that Douglas Adams already had in his novel [Life, The Universe, And Everything].

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Here's the IT connection

I don't understand the popularity of "fart apps." Their simulation, being only auditory, qualifies them as "crippleware."

Who needs expensive high tech? The only "fart app" that the human body needs is a bowl of chili. Unike its cyber equivalent, it implements the stench feature.

Moreover, a skillful human can supress the auditory component, escaping blame for the odoriferous component and possibly shift the blame onto someone else.

Why be a Glasshole, when you can be an asshole?

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Re: Here's the IT connection

My chili is flavo(u)red partially with epazote, resulting in minimal to no gas. Use instead of Bay/Myrtle/Laural, in similar quantities, when cooking beans/legumes.

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Anonymous Coward

They could try and do it properly.

Does that bone-conducting sound thing on the GoogleGlass have the frequency range to produce "Brown Noise"?

Obviously I'm only suggesting this as an aid to the removal of constipation and not any other possibly nefarious "doings".

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