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back to article Chester Cathedral smites net in Wi-Fi SMUT OUTRAGE

Chester Cathedral has pulled the plug on its free Wi-Fi service after a fearless Chester Chronicle investigation revealed visitors could tap unhindered into online porn. The Chronicle cruised the city in search of hotspots and found that "shops, restaurants and cafes with free Wi-Fi were unwittingly allowing shoppers and passers …

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Another technical fix for a social issue

Would the idiotard journalist read a paper porn mag in the church cafe or the childrens' section of a bookshop? Or a laptop or mobile device using mobile Internet?

Get off my Internet lawn.

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Re: Another technical fix for a social issue

Bummer, now I have to find another wifi hotspot for my porn and coffee mornings.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Another technical fix for a social issue

It's not often that my home city gets into the news, maybe that's why it was beaten in the UK City of Culture competition by Hull. Hull kept their wifi on!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Another technical fix for a social issue

If Internet porn had been available at the time, even the Three Wise Men would have checked it out, as for the Donkey..........

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Headmaster

Re: Another technical fix for a social issue

There were three gifts, not necessarily about three wise men.

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Boffin

Re: Another technical fix for a social issue

"There were three gifts, not necessarily about three wise men."

I think you'll find the whole thing was made up about 100 years after whatever events actually happened (i.e., a normal jewish woman had a normal jewish baby in completely normal circumstances and about 30 years later it became a very successful jewish preacher who ran afoul of the local government and got strung/nailed up for his trouble).

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Another technical fix for a social issue

Not only do we keep our wifi on but we used a porn star in our application for the city of Culture application.

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/Hull-porn-star-finds-surprise-role-City-Culture/story-20246147-detail/story.html

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Re: Another technical fix for a social issue

"And then about 2000 years after one man got nailed to a tree, for saying how great it would be to be nice to each other for a change..."

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Anonymous Coward

Shocker

In other news; intrepid reporter discovers that 100% of cars tested allow him to pick up prostitutes.

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Re: Shocker

That's it, I've decided my kids will never be taught to drive!

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Re: Shocker

Hear Hear and mine wont EVER venture into a church. Porn palaces as they are..

Shocked I tell you...Shocked....

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Happy

Re: Shocker

No, it's OK. You can always fill your phone and/or laptop with porn before you leave home. Then you can watch it wherever you like without having to rely on the generosity of free wi-fi to facilitate such activities.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Shocker

"In other news; intrepid reporter discovers that 100% of cars tested allow him to pick up prostitutes."

You sir, win the Top Post of the Year award! Have a thumb!

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Re: Shocker

Even Reliant Robins? That is surprising.

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I immediately thought of it as a bandwidth issue, not social

People will watch other people copulating, it seems to be hard-wired. But as we deny our wiring it has to be discrete. Free WiFi allows the most discrete downloading of said Frankie Vaughan, so is bound to be used for such. Which puts bandwidth cost and pressure on the providers, as HD thrusting groins is lots of data. Worth banning on those grounds, TBH, can't say the social grounds make as much sense.

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Re: I immediately thought of it as a bandwidth issue, not social

Can't you just take a few seconds and play it in a loop? That ought to save bandwidth.

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speed

Just restrict the access speef to a point where even youtube won't play.

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Re: speef

Er, do I want to know what "speef" is?

/kinda...

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Re: speef

"Er, do I want to know what "speef" is?"

Trust me, you don't. You REALLY don't.

But if you must, imagine a cordwangle with a REALLY big flange. At the top, natch.

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Childcatcher

Re: speef

For godsake let's keep natches out of this, things are bad enough already ...!

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Re: speef

Hint: what's right next to the "D"...

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Holmes

speed

Just restrict the access speef to a point where even youtube won't play.

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Devil

Pubeappocolypse

Surely looking at a close-up of a gonorrhoea infected gash is more appealing than inspecting the contents of a McDodgy burger; COME ON McDs!!!!!

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Yawn

Just change the DNS server to an opendns server that doesn't resolve porn. How stupid are these people?

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Re: Yawn

Would that be the one that spams you with featured ad's instead of a 404 for mistyped URL's?

The one when I was checking a content filter I proved utterly useless after 30 seconds (image searches resulted in about a 75% "success" rate)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Yawn

Would that be the one that spams you with featured ad's instead of a 404 for mistyped URL's?

Yup, not only that but because it responds with a web page rather than an error it meant that the "net lookup" command in my backup scripts was resolving to the OpenDNS web server rather than my backup server ... only discovered this when I did one of my periodic (but increasingly irregular since everything always seemed ok) scans of the backup logs to discover that my night backups for several weeks had been failing.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Yawn

Sounds like you need to improve your backup scripts to detect failure and email you when there is an issue.

The command used to do the backup or copy to the backup server must have failed, easy to add checks for the return status of each command and alert you if they fail rather than rely on luck.

The DNS issue just highlights that your backup scripts rely on everything working rather than been written to expect failure.

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JDX
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Re: Yawn

>>Just change the DNS server to an opendns server that doesn't resolve porn. How stupid are these people?

Why would you expect someone running a coffeeshop to know what DNS is, or have heard of OpenDNS?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Yawn

"Just change the DNS server to an opendns server that doesn't resolve porn. How stupid are these people?"

Really? Your questioning just how stupid the public are?

iPhones and Twat/Fake not enough proof positive for you?

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Re: Yawn

"Would that be the one that spams you with featured ad's instead of a 404 for mistyped URL's?"

That would be the one used by Virgin Media. Just confirmed by going to 'aosfiawre.com' - it resolves to a fake IP, which in turn redirects my browser to... er, long address, but it's on advancedsearch2.virginmedia.com.

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Re: Yawn

"That would be the one used by Virgin Media."

So go to the config page and switch it off. I did so when it was introduced. IIRC it based on the account settings but that was a few years ago now. You might have it hunt it down in the bowels of the VM website.

I get proper 404 errors.

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Must be a slow news day at the newspaper. Obviously a journalist somewhere thought that they had to do something to justify their continued existence.

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More like justify their surfing porn in work time...

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Joke

Ahhh... I'm just doing some research, boss. Honest...

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Ahhh, with the mention of kids for extra brownie points, I think the reporter is angling for a job with the daily mail.

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Turn the other cheek

> The site could be viewed ... in Chester Cathedral cafe

Sounds like a cheap and highly effective way to attract exactly the kind of people most in need of the church's "guidance" into their fold.

Afterthought: or was this just a case of a reporter who got caught viewing smut at work and used the tired old excuse "it's for an article I'm writing" and then had to follow through?

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Anonymous Coward

What about the poor Bishop ?

Where wil he get his fix ?

OH wait, there are many youngsters visiting churh. So no issues there !

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Re: What about the poor Bishop ?

Hey ! The whole point of the article was to try and stop people bashing the bishop !

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Silly reporting

Just stating the obvious (at least to anyone who thinks for a moment) and, as a bonus, letting many more people know about the existence of pornhub.com and where to access it from.

The only issue of note is the apparent failure of the Cathedral's IT provider to provide the agreed filtering.

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Anonymous Coward

Meanwhile, my two sons (17 and 13) are unable to do their history research (Korean War and WWII) on school computers because both wars involved weapons and sites describing weapons are now banned by the schools web filter.

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Childcatcher

But they're only thinking of the children!

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That's most of the History curriculum b*ggered, then...

Example from https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/national-curriculum-in-england-history-programmes-of-study/national-curriculum-in-england-history-programmes-of-study

*the development of Church, state and society in Britain 1509-1745*

Renaissance and Reformation in Europe

the English Reformation and Counter-Reformation (Henry VIII to Mary I)

the Elizabethan religious settlement and conflict with Catholics (including Scotland, Spain and Ireland)

the first colony in America and first contact with India

the causes and events of the civil wars throughout Britain

the Interregnum (including Cromwell in Ireland)

the Restoration, ‘Glorious Revolution’ and power of Parliament

the Act of Union of 1707, the Hanoverian succession and the Jacobite rebellions of 1715 and 1745

Try researching that lot with the filters for weaponry, racially insensitive language, political bias, religious intolerance and sexual misconduct switched on...

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A modest suggestion...

...Meanwhile, my two sons (17 and 13) are unable to do their history research (Korean War and WWII) on school computers because both wars involved weapons and sites describing weapons are now banned...

Get them to write an essay with all paragraphs describing weapons or fighting-related issues redacted.

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You can't google "huge nazi/asian weapons" from School computers

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On a side note

I didn't know Waterstones had free wi-fi, that means I can go showrooming in there, find a good book and download it onto my Kindle without leaving the store...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: On a side note

Feel free.

Waterstones sell the Kindle in store and also get a cut from Amazon for books bought via their wifi.

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Alert

Would nun porn be ok?

Can't think of a more appropriate place to watch it.

Or does the reformation mean that's even worse then normal porn?

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Coat

Re: Would nun porn be ok?

That'd be for when you get nun at home then…

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Filter?

My $250 draytek router has a "block sex related sites" check box that would pretty well block every porn site your average british churnalist (IQ ~90?) could think of (playboy.com, hustler.com ? that about it?) Can someone get this message across to the powers that be running any public wi-fi access point, before they get hordes of pathetic brain dead churnalists outing them across the country, for christ's sake???

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Anonymous Coward

The Holy Goatse

Three Wise men, One cup?

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