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back to article Rare BLOWJOB-GIVING APES 'face extinction from interacting with HUMANS'

The rare Bonobo ape - formerly known as the pygmy chimpanzee - faces a serious menace to its continued survival due to the activities of humans, scientists say. The bonobo is perhaps most widely known for being one of the few species apart from some humans (and as it turns out, fruitbats) to routinely perform fellatio as part of …

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Coat

Humans routinely perform fellatio?

Someone ought to let my wife know.

Sorry, I'll be on my way...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Humans routinely perform fellatio?

I did, and she concurred.

Diagnostics appear to indicate user error.

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Re: Humans routinely perform fellatio?

Reminds me of that joke that was doing the rounds a (long) while back..

Neill Armstrong was once asked why, after landing on the moon and finishing up his historic "one great leap" speech, he finished up his report with a hearty "Good Luck Mr. Gorsky!". A reporter asked him about it once, and after a slight pause, Armstrong recounted the story to him. As a child, he used to live next door to a Jewish couple. One day, while he was playing in the yard, he could hear the neighbours arguing loudly. All he could hear was Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

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Mushroom

@AC

You'd better not be hiding in the wardrobe when I get home.

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xyz
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Things you wish you didn't know

It is distinguished by relatively long legs, pink lips, dark face and tail-tuft through adulthood, and parted long hair on its head.

she has a clitoris that is "three times bigger than the human equivalent, and visible enough to waggle unmistakably as she walks

Female bonobos rub their clitorises together rapidly for ten to twenty seconds, and this behavior, "which may be repeated in rapid succession, is usually accompanied by grinding, shrieking, and clitoral engorgement

two bonobo males hang from a tree limb face-to-face while penis fencing

Thank you Wikipedia...sort of like Clacton on a Friday night then

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Things you wish you didn't know

You Sir owe me a new coffee free keyboard!

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Paris Hilton

Re: Things you wish you didn't know

Female bonobos rub their clitorises together rapidly for ten to twenty seconds

LESBIAN BONOBOS!

I think I have to lie down now.

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Go

Maybe it's African women hunting down the apes?

Setting unrealistic examples of relationships and whatnot....

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Least understood?

...“Bonobos are probably the least understood great ape in Africa...

Given the stories about their habits, I would have thought that there would be naturalists and social anthropologists queuing up to film them.

Then again, given that a lot of the expenses from this kind of work are paid by selling the US television rights, and the resultant shots are probably not suitable for the average US audience, this might explain the dearth of research...

(Edit Addition) - Having looked at the Wiki, I'm not sure that there IS a dearth of research... :)

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Re: Least understood?

There is quite a bit of research, most of it on captive populations.

Researchers in the Bonobo's natural habitat are in about as much danger as the Bonobo is.

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Pint

the science...

I seem to remember that the Pan paniscus is a closer common ancestor than Pan troglodytes, genetically that is. The bonobo is also observed to be a maternal , social grooming and tree living rather than paternal, territorial and ground living as the common chimp is observed.

The upshot is, our ancestors survived living in the trees, apparently somewhere in shallow water, and that lead to current humans (via a very complicated and unknown path...).

The whole sexual favours thing (yes we giggled in class too) is perhaps a trait selected along the lines of "make love not war".....? I also remember it was not just hetero more omni ....

Oh and I think the common chimps can be canibalistic too...?

Beer, because that levels the difference between humans and chimps...:-)

P.

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Anonymous Coward

"Humans just want to eat them"

And not that sort of eating either.

Having personally seen a baboon on Table Mountain (Cape Town) jerk himself off I am not at all surprised it is common in apedom.

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Headmaster

Title Change?

I thought I read RARE FELLATIO-GIVING APES ‘FACE EXTINCTION FROM INTERACTING WITH HUMANS’ when I saw this at work but didn’t have time to read, I mean, I am at work.

Awwwh, it’s only Wednesday, and my mind could be playing tricks

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Sounds like they BONE-OBO species needs to

BONE-UP on its sir-vive-ulllll skillz.

But, don't refer them to District 9... Wickers might be accused of "interspecies prostitution".... Hehehehe...

Maybe the US government has some cash on hand (despite the sequester) to fund a study "On the understanding of the use of human-originated, electrically-powered and end-ducer powered, hand-held Bone-Obo-suitable vibratory, vulvacular-stimulating devices"

Maybe "Lesko" will scream that there exists a US Research Grant sum for that?

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Re: Sounds like they BONE-OBO species needs to

"Maybe the US government has some cash on hand (despite the sequester) to fund a study "

Erm, you really should climb out from under that rock more often. The sequester is long over and Congress is back to whoring around as usual.

Still, we in the US won't want to fund that. The religious types would get all up in arms about studying fornicating apes, undermining social and family values and all sorts of other bullshit.

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Re: Sounds like they BONE-OBO species needs to

> Still, we in the US won't want to fund that. The religious types would get all up in arms about studying fornicating apes, undermining social and family values and all sorts of other bullshit.

Why would the religious nutters be threatened by ape sex? It's not as if it is in any way related to humans after all...

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Happy

Bonobo intelligence outclasses humans

Well, maybe not all humans.

Actually, bonobos are amazingly, gob-smackingly intelligent, and can demonstrate it in the right environment. See the links here: http://www.iowaprimatelearning.org/ and check out YouTube and TED.

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Linux

Reading this article literally blew me away.

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