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back to article Qatar whips covers off giant footballing vagina

Qatar has unexpectedly delighted international pundits by unveiling the design for its 2022 World Cup Al Wakrah stadium, whose roof is designed to represent "the sails of the Arabian pearl fishing boat the Dhow", but actually bearing more than a passing resemblance to a woman's nether regions. Artist's impression of the Al …

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Great, now we can simply call footballers a bunch of overpaid Qatari stadiums.

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Needs a name

I vote Fa'ni Stadium.

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Anonymous Coward

As is customary, it appears to have been circumcised.

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Joke

Stadium like a vagina?

Only fitting really since it will be full of cocks.

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Re: Needs a name

You cannae call her Fa'ni.....*drinks from can of irn-bru*

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Facepalm

don't they know any anatomy?

It's a vulva, not vagina.

Jeez.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: don't they know any anatomy?

Nope they are IT professionals and footballers, one group will be too polite to investigate such a question and one group has only one thing on their minds.

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Re: don't they know any anatomy?

"...and one group has only one thing on their minds"

Playing with their balls?

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Re: don't they know any anatomy?

Seems everyone is confused. The apparently wide ignorance of the distinction does say a lot... different parties using the same term to reference different things and carrying on an endless conversation that doesn't seem to have much traction. Head-shakingly sad.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: don't they know any anatomy?

Not heard footballers described as polite before :)

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Re: don't they know any anatomy?

It's ok, they don't know boats either. A Dhow is a lateen rig and it's pretty clear that building has a wishbone boom and I do believe that's a whisker pole on the genny.

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Any discerning human...

Callie Beusman, down at Jezebel, declared: "Any discerning human will be quick to recognize that the building looks exactly like an enormous vagina."

...needs to have seen one to know what they look like, and in that part of the world they may not have.

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Laughs aside, I'd be interested to know how they are going to manage that rather impressive feat of cooling. My understanding was that the stadiums would be air conditioned. The very open nature to the design implies that is not the case so I wonder how they'll drop the incoming air temperature 24 degrees.

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Hot air rises, cold air sinks; my guess would be air conditioning at pitch level wouldn't be affected by the open top.

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Windows

Never mind that,

image the size of the tena-lady if it leaks!!!!!!

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Maybe, but the air-conditioning requirement would be for the comfort of (international) spectators too and unless I'm seeing things, it looks like the areas behind the seating is open too. Also, how would you cool the center of the pitch without compressors so strong as to generate interesting air conditions and, by extension, unduly affect the flight of the ball?

Whatever, there's cricket on today.

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Happy

@dan1980

Dan, I'm reliably informed that a giant ladies sanitation towel is in the works to prevent air from leaking.

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Angel

Can't wait to see some of the aerial views when they're actually playing on the pitch; with all those little running figures it'll look like it has a really bad case of crabs.

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Paris Hilton

Can't wait to see a zeppelin enter the stadium!

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Anonymous Coward

I want to come..

..and enter this. Truly I do.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I want to come..

I think there may be a nasal spray to help you. Your sequencing seems wrong to me.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I want to come..

LOL you're absolutely right mate!

-Original AC

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I want to come..

You might want to try it the other way around.

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Coat

A penetrating run in to the box......

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Conversly

Bloody 'ell luv you've got "the sails of the Arabian pearl fishing boat" down 'ere!

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Expert on womens' genitalia

Don't be so hard on Ms. Breswell. I would hardly expect a woman to be an expert on womens' genitalia [1] in general. Most have rarely seen more than their own, which, even then, they probably don't know all that well. [2]

Can the heterosexual male readers of El Reg talk at length and with expertise about other men's penes? I didn't think so.

Men (or lesbians) are real experts on women's genitalia and what they look like.

[1] Unless, of course, she is a gynaecologist or in a similar line of work.

[2] Quick test if you think I'm joking: if shown a picture of your vulva along with pictures of other vulvae, would you know which one was yours?

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Re: Expert on womens' genitalia

I suspect Ms. Breswell was being modest.

Anyone viewing porn will have seen hundreds of examples of both forms of undercarriage so, yes, male readers of the register probably can talk about the length and expertise of other men's penises if they could drag their concentration away from the screen.

As for recognizing your own bits, I wouldn't even know my own hands unless the picture showed the chainsaw scar on my right palm.

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Joke

@Natalie Gritpants.

Given up the juggling act then?

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EC

Opening ceremony

Kristen Schaal would be an excellent director for the opening ceremony.

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Windows

And he's

dribbling nicely on the outside of the box......

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I bet

The Qatari authorities now wish they could draw a veil over the entire thing.

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Re: I bet

The 7th veil I presume...

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Anonymous Coward

It's deliberate, it makes drawing up the plans easy - you can just use Notepad --> ({})

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Merchandise

I'm guessing a quick repackaging and one could sell "authentic replica" cememorative fleshlights?

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No doubt designed to reflect the See You Next Tuesdays running round on the pitch...

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Facepalm

Once seen

Never unseen.

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Anonymous Coward

Obviously designed

By a Consultant in the Use of New Technology

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Anonymous Coward

In parallel to the muff diving concept.

Goal area to be known as the "G" spot.

Alternatively, when a player scores, the location scored from to be the "G" spot, especially as notoriously

difficult to fix the location.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: In parallel to the muff diving concept.

I wonder if the whole stadium will shudder when someone scores ...

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Pride and joy

Now the local team can rename themselves to "Vulvarines"

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Anonymous Coward

it doesn't look like a camel toe :(

never mind, it would still be fun if it were retractable / closable, given the dreary, wet climate in Qatar. And with light beams of appropriate colours... truly spectacular shots of the opening (chuckle) ceremony, immortalized in google earth. Well, ok, not in the UK, such mind (?) stimulating images would have to be censored, naturally!

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Re: it doesn't look like a camel toe :(

Maybe French wrapper Christo could provide a lycra cover create that effect...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christo_and_Jeanne-Claude

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I hear the Cambridge University Netball Team are looking for a venue. It looks quite inviting to me...

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How are they...

gonna stop sand getting in there?

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To complete the picture all that's needed is for the airship providing aerial coverage to suffer some sort of malfunction that causes it to dive in nose first.

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natural air con

Perhaps this is the secret of the cooling as in use it "should" become somewhat damp; and the evaporation of said dampness should act as a coolant!..Lets hope that there is not gushing dampness at climatic moments.

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The Flight of the Vaginator!

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I bet...

I bet £10 one of the England players will try to shag the stadium now, but only if it's already married to another England player

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*smirk*

A fitting stadium indeed for an England team that generally gets fucked in these types of competitions.

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