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back to article Salesforce boss Benioff foretells grim, unrelenting hyper-capitalist future

Salesforce chief Marc Benioff seems perpetually surprised that the world doesn't recognize him. He is furious that bookstores fail to remember him when he buys a new book. He is angry that his former university doesn't blast his phone with a jingle when he walks on campus. He is perplexed that companies the world over are not …

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Anonymous Coward

Thanks for this article

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

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Re: Thanks for this article

Yeah - first person for a while that's made Larry Ellison seem vaguely sane....

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How does this make them different from Google?

Or Microsoft? Or Sony? Or...

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A classic Register article. Keep up the good work.

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Indeed. I am absolutely in awe of Jack for this one. In. Awe. Unbelievable work.

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Unhappy

I will steal some of these phrases and shamelessly pass them off as my own.

I particularly liked the ". . . orgy of naked, thrusting commerce . . ." and the ". . . lobotomized cheering of Salesforce's acolytes . . ."

In Benioff's world, we, (and our data) are all the proverbial grist, the aim being to throw as much of us into the Salesforce mill as possible.

Where's the 'life is depressing' icon?

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Go

Since im actually at dreamforce

I thought it was a pretty effective keynote. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a future where I get location-marketed by my alma mater every time I step on campus, but the ideas around a better integrated customer management suite and smarter marketing is certainly welcome. Just as long as their is customer buyin, I am ok.

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Re: Since im actually at dreamforce

and most of us would like to be left alone. If ${BIG_CORP} wants my \$ to be offered up willingly, dump the automated hell of call management systems and put humans who speak standard ${LOCAL_LANG} on the telephone.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Since im actually at dreamforce

and most of us would like to be left alone

The key issue is that we are totally overloaded with crap, and have been for some time. I have a sticker "No junk mail" on my postbox, and a stack of envelopes that I use to send back stuff that is left in there regardless (without stamp, of course, the whole point is to make it costly for them), but you cannot avoid the crap you get thrown at you as soon as you make the mistake of clicking on a link (which typically happens to me when I'm too impatient to wait for a slow page to load - ironically caused by all the advertising that needs to be pulled in).

I understand the role of advertising and marketing, but I want the online equivalent of going into a shop and politely saying "no thank you" when sales people offer me help, and then left alone to form myself a picture of what is on offer and if that fits with my needs. Only after that will I engage with sales staff for advice, choice, whatever (and I buy on principle in a shop if I asked their help instead of then buying online - to me, that's a bit unfair otherwise). What you get with Salesforce and others is relentless pushing of the kind we used to have in the 90s where some sites loaded up both pop over and pop under windows and started a whole series of "are you sure" screens the moment you tried to leave, a sort of hostile take-over of your browser.

Well, f*ck that. The viagra spam gets filtered out, but not a day goes by where someone used my domain data to try and sell me SEO from an outfit that has by that method automatically barred itself from ever getting business from me (it's quite a list by now), or reputable companies that have someone bought my email address from someone else and refuse to tell me where they got it from, leaving me to play a game of whack a mole until I find the people who are selling my unpublished address.

The only notable exception was Oracle, maybe because I pinged a complaint to their legal copyright department and someone there took it personal (sharing my dislike). Turned out their provider wasn't refreshing their "do not contact" list as per contract, and I ended up with profuse apologies. It's so rare I think it deserves mention in this context, and we adopted the same aggressive stance for any of our mail runs - we actively keep track of permissions and default to opt out when clients join. Quite simply, we treat clients like we want to be treated ourselves.

Last but not least, given the, umm, "flexibility" with which US companies treat *any* information entrusted to them, there is not a hope in hell I'll provide them with intelligence on who my company's clients are and what our sales funnel looks like. Not a chance.

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Meh

Oh i dunno

is Microsoft considering him for a position ? Sounds no different to some EDS or CSC PHBs over the decades

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It's not in my world

I don't want satisfaction surveys, I don't want telemarketing, I don't want more bulk for the recycling bin, I don't want text messages coupons, I don't want e-mails of new product catalogs, and I don't want creepy product recommendations made by AI systems covertly analyzing my personal habits. I don't read billboards, I skip TV commercials, and the radio is turned off at the first advertisement. I do want a product that does what it claims to do, and does it well. I do want the product to come with a URL that leads to a well-designed web site showing me what other solutions are available for purchase. I do have money to spend.

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Re: It's not in my world

arrPost = split(strPost)

For Each strWord in arrPost

strReply = strReply & "Amen! "

Next

Wscript.Echo strReply

(Don't hate on the mighty VBScript . . . )

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Pint

It's a sad life ...

Some of the funniest days I've spent, over the years, have been in (forced) attendance at various Group-Huggathons.

You would not believe how exciting kitchen taps are. Honestly, I've seen people more wired over the latest multi-function spray-tap than it's possible to get on crack, without dying of the OD shortly afterwards.

I've seen CEOs - not to mention Heads of Sales - gush themselves to tears, wibbling on about how the feel of their latest human-interface-device reminds them of holding their mother's hand.

I've seen people employed in the financial services industry with a look on their face that I reserve specifically for the occasions when Miley Cyrus has been stood right in front of me, following a particularly serious wardrobe malfunction (hers, not mine ... the door hinges on mine failed years ago).

I envy Mr Clark (who - if he isn't, already - should almost certainly be starring in some bestselling paperback; involving subermarines, alien life, the CIA, terrorists, some chick in a bikini, explosives and a very big aeroplane) for his couple of days spent pointing and laughing, from the back of the hall.

Life on the inside, viewed from the outside; truely hilarious (providing you don't get caught sniggering at the back).

... And free beer - There was always free beer. Cheers!

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Who?

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Doesn't know when he's lucky

If everyman on the street recognised Benioff as "That guy that keeps pushing companies to ram more ads down our throats", he might find his lifestyle becoming much less sedentary.

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Mushroom

But salesforce forgets about ITS OWN CUSTOMERS!

Benioff may (or may not) be right about the importance of connecting all things social to business CRM.

But as a heavy user of Salesforce (an AMAZING cloud platform with extraordinary customisation potential before you even start trying to write code) what bothers me is that for all the talk of THE ERA OF THE CUSTOMER or whatever and social bla bla.... Salesforce has yet to make a responsive, user-friendly mobile app for goodness sake.

And the user interface is slower than it should be, unattractive and can't be "skinned"... and I think Salesforce has generally failed to explain to the world that it's more than just a CRM package - way more - you can pretty much run your whole business on it - even if you don't give a monkeys about social media.

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