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back to article Vladimir PUTIN officially HARDER than CHUCK NORRIS

Russian prez Vladimir Putin has been awarded a taekwondo ninth-degree black belt, which means he's now officially toppled Chuck Norris from his muscle-bound position as the hardest man on the planet. The ninth-degree belt is as high as you can go in taekwondo. Norris is apparently an eighth-degree killing machine, but he's no …

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Heresy! Burn him!

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I read that as "bum him" :3

He could have been such an icon, martial arts hero, doing the tiger conservation thing, fighting off bears, riding around topless.

But he's a bigot and no one likes him.

I do think it's about time that any organisation with any shred of social responsibility stand up to this.

This means you IOC and F1 management .

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re: bum him

I'm sure I'm not the only person who suspects the homophobia stems from the usual place -- repressed homosexuality.

Ob. Chuck Norris Joke:

The FORCE feels Chuck Norris

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But he's a bigot and no one likes him.

Whereas Chuckie just wants creationism taught as science in schools.

Putin is a bigot, yet Chuck wants to indoctinate the minds of future generations into the desert dogma. In the long run, which will do more damage to either society?

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Re: which will do more damage to either society?

Only one of them is running a country, unless I've missed a recent update to the Chuck Norris Facts?

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Anonymous Coward

No pals Putin

Sad :(

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Re: No pals Putin

yup, protesting too much, much?

some boy should just give him a kiss.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: No pals Putin

He should make friends with a certain other ronery dictator who claims to be the greatest badass on the planet.

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Chuck Norris could whoop Putin blindfolded

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. after three days of excrutiating pain, the cobra died

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Chuck Norris could whoop Putin blindfolded

Putin is a KGB trained killer, he probably has some of those fancy poisoned daggers in his shoes.

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Re: Chuck Norris could whoop Putin blindfolded

"he probably has some of those fancy poisoned daggers in his shoes."

That's okay. Taekwondo is a practised barefoot.

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MnM

Re: Chuck Norris could whoop Putin blindfolded

"Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. after three days of excrutiating pain, the cobra died"

I think he might even have seen that punchline coming.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Chuck Norris could whoop Putin blindfolded

Venomous snake. Poison is when you eat it.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Chuck Norris could whoop Putin blindfolded @ ganymede io device

They are very cunning shoes designed to look like bare feet.

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Go

Re: Chuck Norris could whoop Putin blindfolded

Is that so?

Well, Vladimir Putin has no CTRL key on his keyboard. He's always in control.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Chuck Norris could whoop Putin blindfolded

> Putin is a KGB trained killer,

Ermm... no. Regardless of how often the Western media love to quote that snippet, he was just a relatively low-level operative. Essentially another bloody civil servant.

Bush the Elder on the other hand was Director of the CIA and that never seemed to bother anyone. I suspect through sheer ignorance of the fact more than anything else.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Chuck Norris could whoop Putin blindfolded

Come on, Putin even looks like they guy who gets killed by the poison shoes in "From Russia With Love"

http://www.alexsegal.net/photo/KronsteenVsPutin.jpg

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That's nice.

Substituting physical strength for say, compassion, empathy or mercy. Being strong doesn't mean you aren't an asshole.

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Poor Chuck

Front punch+reverse punch+side kick+spinning kick+step back+change legs -> beats roundhouse kick all the time ;-)

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Ah rubbish

None are a match for the power of Ecky Thump.

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Re: Ah rubbish

Llap Goch is the true ultimate martial art: http://www.llapgoch.org.uk/

I propose a new standard measurement to gauge the force of a stare; the Putin Metre (PM) the rate at which a nervous diplomat will back off from a Putin stare with 10 PM/s being average that is about 22.5 MPH, a good sprint for most humans.

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So ... is this just some honourary title cos he's the President, or something genuine like Kim Jung Il's golf prowess?

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Please, please, Please let us see the match!

goes to fetch popcorn

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Joke

Norris can't get the ninth-degree black belt

...because the ninth-degree black belt self-evaporated in fear of Norris.

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Wrong Art - Chuck's 9th Dan too.

Chuck earned his way in Tang Soo Do, not TKD. Sure, he got graded in TKD too, but TSD is what he's known for, and he's a 9th Dan in that.

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Re: Wrong Art - Chuck's 9th Dan too.

Tsk. Friday afternoon journalism and it's not even noon. I suppose at least the Reg is better than if we commentards were writing.

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Re: Wrong Art - Chuck's 9th Dan too.

What can I say, I was a at a loose end while my coffee brewed :)

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Windows

@Ledswinger "Friday afternoon journalism" - was Re: Wrong Art - Chuck's 9th Dan too.

I'm all for Friday afternoon journalism. In fact I'd like it all week long.

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Re: @Ledswinger "Friday afternoon journalism" - was Wrong Art - Chuck's 9th Dan too.

Why stop there? I want Friday afternoon all week long.

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Nork

Kim Jong-un will have to announce that a 10th degree belf has been invented especially for him

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What a lot of rubbish

We have seen Chuck get totally pwnd by Bruce Lee.

Putin = pussy (and not a cat, either)

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Anonymous Coward

Equivalent of

A UK Honary Degree

piece of paper worth less with the ink on

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Anonymous Coward

Staring?

I thought the standard KGB method of method of extracting information was more physical (and possibly intimate) than that.

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Anonymous Coward

"I'm not sure if I deserve this."

clearly a mistranslation, given the... ehm... circumstances. He certainly would have said:

"I'm sure I deserve this."

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Childcatcher

And yet...

Neither hold a candle to the late, great Peter Cushing.

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Yeah, whatever...

I'll bet he couldn't put a Rowntree's Fruit Pastille in his mouth without chewing.

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New web game features chuck norris and Vlad the sad pooter.

I can see it now, Vlad tries a sniper shot but chuck eats the bullet and spits it back at him. Kick punch, bam crunch. It would be as cheesy as the old Batman TV show.

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Meh

Bleah

They're all at it. So-called world leaders trying to be all ruffty-tuffty, just end up looking pathetic.

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Technoviking could kick both their asses

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-ig2l83Fag

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Chuck? Chuck Norris? As in "Technicolour yawn"?

You'd think his Mum would've chosen a more inspiring name for him.

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Coat

How many Norris' would a Putin Chuck if a ... I think you know where I am going with this.

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Does this mean an amendment to the Reg SI unit for force?

SD

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Is he a cyborg or why do it read this on a so called "tech site"?

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Technoviking

apparently a bit of a douche

http://www.dailydot.com/news/technoviking-matthias-fritsch-lawsuit-ruling/

but then again so is Norris and Putin too

If you are apparently "as hard as nails" ( funny because when I am hammering them, the bloody things always seem to bend quite easily) you also have to be a bit of a stroppy a$$hat too.

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Coat

I'll just leave this here...

Seems someone has been quick off the ball...

http://vladfacts.com/

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