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back to article KRAKOOM! iPad Air EXPLODES in FIREBALL, terrified fanbois FLEE Apple store

Apple fanbois around the world are on red alert after one of the latest fruity fondleslabs caught fire and exploded in an Australian Vodafone shop. A demonstration model of the new iPad Air caused a fire so intense that the fire brigade were called. Although no-one was hurt in the fire, fanbois around the world will be sleeping …

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I thought fanbois were waving them around to annoy others

apparently is the only way to make sure they're cool!

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I though it was Amazon that made the Fire tablets?

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Anonymous Coward

No, no, that's a fire sale. Pay attention.

:)

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Facepalm

If its in the Daily Fail...

It must be 100% true. The phones could be taken from anywhere, not saying it didn't happen but i would prefer a more reliable source than the Daily Fail.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: If its in the Daily Fail...

How apt. Jasper Hamill is the Daily Mail of El Reg reporters, after all...

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Re: If its in the Daily Fail...

Really, Is it that hard?

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Re: If its in the Daily Fail...

Still looks fishy to me. The story happened a week ago, there seems to be just the single anonymous source, all the articles use almost the same words and it's apparently the wrong device in the photo. And it's the Daily Fail. I'm going with 'not true' for now!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: If its in the Daily Fail...

> Really, Is it that hard?

He is Guardian reader so everything has to handed to him on a plate. He is incapable of looking for himself.

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Happy

Air today, gone tomorrow...

At least it was a really THIN fire, eh?

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Re: Air today, gone tomorrow...

It was a shiny fire. And extraordinarily high-res.

However, several of the firemen commented that you could get twice the flames for half the price with an Android tablet.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Air today, gone tomorrow...

and the flames were rounded off

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Re: Air today, gone tomorrow...

It wasn't a fire, it was a screensaver

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Sorry about the flame

Similar flames were available on Android but they looked slightly different for legal reasons

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"therefore a bit rubbish when you remember how exciting the first one was all those years ago"

I have no fruity devices and no interest in an "fanboi" groupings, but that does seem a bit of a daft dismissal of a device that will sell millions. Surely that's true for just about anything ever - the first version is the game changer; everything that follows are merely refinements

The latest Ford Escort is just a bit better version of a Ford Model T, but plenty of people are still interested in them and certainly doesn't make them "a bit rubbish".

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Ford Orion

The latest Ford Escort/Orion was worse than a model T in oh so many ways. There was the steer by leaning function - the chassis flexed so bad it was like wing-warping without the wings. The seats had all the appeal of a damp kindergarten waiting room chair. And oh god the engines - CVH aka Clattery Vapid & Harsh or CVS aka Catatonic & Violently Smokey. The gearlever would have been more at home as the twist grip on an elephants colestomy bag. Then there's the body roll - akin to a greased up Hutt dropped off a skate ramp & the body panels that were a total loss if it rained hard. The only part of the bodywork that had any structural integrity whatsoever was the rear spoiler.

The Focus is better but many seem to have sourced their electronics from either Lucas prince of darkness or Renaults spare parts division - a bunch of people that make the coalition government look like Gods on earth.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Ford Orion

"The latest Ford Escort/Orion was worse than a model T in oh so many ways."

I recently had the opportunity to drive a model T. You are wrong in oh so many ways.

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Re: Ford Orion

I am inclined to agree

The only part of my Orion that ever worked was the Fuel Computer. Every other piece of electronics in that mobile pile of rust didn't work properly. Fuel leaks. Windows wouldn't wind. Interior and exterior lighting seemed to be some sort of optional extra. Never noticed the body roll at the time. But that could have been because my shocks were made from solid lumps of steel.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "therefore a bit rubbish when you remember how exciting the first one was all those years ago"

Splendid up to the minute deconstruction of the motor industry there. It's called a Focus these days Grandad.

Still, no fruitiness here either, nor did I ever have any liking for Madonna, so that analogy is perfect!

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Re: Ford Orion

"I recently had the opportunity to drive a model T."

So true. One needs to relearn driving to get one even crawling

But all Model Ts should be like this IMHO

http://www.2040cars.com/_content/cars/images/41/563441/003.jpg

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Re: Ford Orion

I've driven both and I'd still buy a model To over a series 5 Orion any day of the week. once you learn the controls the T isn't that hard - just be careful if it acts up on starting -handle kickback on that engine *hurts*. The number of people broke fingers or even arms using handle starts was why the big old engines used a flywheel clutch starter - you turned the flywheel and then clutched it - start a Tiger II on a direct handle and get it wrong and your entire arm would end up somewhere in darkest Wales.

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Remember the Ford Prefect

What a wonderful car.

The starter motor (As was common with many Ford cars) used to jam. A hammer kept under the drivers seat would 'unjam' it 99 times out of a 100.

Oh, and a Radio was an optional extra. :)

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Re: "therefore a bit rubbish when you remember how exciting the first one was all those years ago"

@Duncant You do know that 'The latest Ford Escort' is now a decade or so old don't you ? Other than pristine ones for vintage collectors and the Cossie variant, provided it's not been ragged, they are a bit rubbish compated to their modern equivalents, made by FMC or not.

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Re: Ford Orion

I had a Mk1 ('84) Orion Ghia and it was a nice car, like an armchair on wheels, the CVH engine was ok for the time and it had decent styling. Then the Mk2 came out, the soft plastics gave way to cheap hard plastics, the styling was blander, it actually had less equipment than the Mk1 and the CVH engines were being showed up by Vx's OHC engine and others. Then we had the complete and utter train wreck of the 1990 model Escort/Orions. It seems only Ford could turn out progressively worse cars with each new generation.

I actually have a Focus now and it's a decent car but I'm surprised Ford are still in business today considering some of the crap they turned out from the mid 80's up to the late 90's.

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Boffin

Re: Ford Orion^H^H^H^H^H:= Cheap Crap

Ford has always made cheap, crap cars ... the only reason model T was so successful was because it was way cheaper than anything else on the market at the time.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Ford Orion^H^H^H^H^H:= Cheap Crap

Don't entirely agree - I've owned a few Mondeos - and although they obviously lack the cache of German brands and arguably are not as long lived/reliable as some Japanese/Korean manufacturers - they've always been fine to drive and I've never had a serious problem. I have just bought a Fiesta ST - and that's great to drive. Tue, I'll have to see how well it lasts over the years - but for the money you pay - I think you get a good deal. Or maybe I'm just being defensive... If you've got plenty of money - or really care that much there are plenty of options available. If you've not - I believer that Ford is among the manufactures that deliver value for money.

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Mr Hamill complaining about blasts of hot air?

Usual lazy mash-up of outsourced stories and re-badged catchphrases. Must be soul-destroying writing this guff day in, day out.

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Happy

Re: Must be soul-destroying writing this guff day in, day out.

The article or your comment?

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Re: Must be soul-destroying writing this guff day in, day out.

Touché - well played!

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Devil

Some missing elements

They failed to mention that a bearded youth wearing a tshirt, with a evil faced green robot printed on the back, had been seen running from the shop just minutes earlier; holding some lighter fuel and a box of matches.....

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Re: Some missing elements

Linus TORCHvalds? Or Tim BURNERS-Lee?

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Re: Some missing elements

or maybe Richard Stallman was taking out his revenge

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Re: Some missing elements

@Just_this_guy - "Linus TORCHvalds? Or Tim BURNERS-Lee?"

I think he was referring to Jasper Hamill's beard. He's the author of this article.

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Terminator

Re: Some missing elements

No, I think it was a teenage boy, his mum and a Terminator

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Facepalm

DIAGNOSTIC CORNER...

Do you think it could have been fumes,from all the glue

they use to stick the thing together that ignited and

destroyed the unit?...i remember back in my day when

these contraptions were fixed together with screws....

mind you i am going back quite a bit now.

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Anonymous Coward

But only a small percentage.....

................of Australia went up in flames

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Anonymous Coward

Focus!

"iPad Explodes", blah, blah, ...

"Did I mention I think it's c**!? I now I did in a previous article, but just let me bring it up again because I can't make this article appear anti-Apple enough otherwise".

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Focus!

Oh no! Someone doesn't like iPads! Quick, get the appletards to post anonymously!!

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Re: Focus!

El Reg should implement commentariat's "team" flags.

"I'm on Team Apple/Android/Ubuntu" etc.

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Joke

I thought that was a lightning port, not firewire.

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Pint

I think you owe everyone a beer for that one...

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Get them while they're hot!

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WTF?

Good one…

"Weighs a bit less". Really? if the author of this piece lost proportionally the same [bit of] weight I suspect the last rites would be called for…

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jai
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Re: Good one…

Jasper's not one to let facts get in the way of a good piece of anti-Appletism

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Flame

So it wasn't...

... a Kindle Fire...?

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Mushroom

iED

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Happy

iED

Neat.

Fahrenheit 451. The temperature at which paper burns.

I wonder what Lithium is capable of?

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Obviously

The shop keep was demonstrating it wrong.

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Acme Products?

Was the charger and battery made by ACME?

Air Bender---Check

Fire Bender--Check

Water Bender--?

Earth Bender--?

New iPad is on it's way to becoming an Avatar to save us from our evils!

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Terminator

Re: Acme Products?

"ACME products? I'm 80% ACME products!"

iBender.

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