back to article We've invented the FONBLET, says Samsung

Samsung has thrown an analyst day in Korea and the deck of slides shown to the rune-casters has found its way onto The Reg's hard drive. The deck contains pretty much what one would expect, including a pledge to make Samsung the world's “most beloved company” in part by making sure its products are seen to be used by the …

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Anonymous Coward

invented you say ?

Fonblet is obviously a contraction of 'Fondle Tablet' which has clearly been cribbed from Fondle Slab ..

Perhaps a polite letter suggesting licencing terms ?

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Re: invented you say ?

I think fondle / phone tablet

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Yes, Invented.

What's a better marketing word for "everyone in management is confused that this utterly ridiculous and moronic market segment exists, but it does so we're shipping product"?

I think Fonblet is fine.

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Re: Yes, Invented.

5"-7" tablets are moronic? Ridiculous? And utterly so?

Explain.

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Re: Yes, Invented. @ M Gale

I would say 7" fonblets are *slightly* ridiculous, yes. Too big for my pocket, so why limit the screen size to only 7"? If it must remain outside my trousers anyway I'd much rather have a more useful 10" (said the bishop to the actress).

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Re: Yes, Invented. @ M Gale

Oh I dunno. I've had 7" tablets before, and they always seem to fit perfectly in a jacket pocket. Ten inch tablets will always need an extra bag or backpack, unless you have pockets like windsocks. I say this as current owner of a (battered, old but still functional) Asus TF201, which sits nicely in the netbook-size padded compartment of a laptop backpack.

Granted, maybe a seven incher won't fit down the front or back of a tight pair of Levis (insert lewd joke here), but then who with any sense puts anything breakable in the pockets most likely to break them?

Plus a seven incher is still passable as a phone if on the very large side, whereas a ten incher really does start looking Dom Joly-ish. That's assuming it even comes with a phone chipset and dialler app.

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Re: trouser pockets

Is it time for the thigh pocket ('sadlebag') to escape from the hill-walking fraternity and make it to high fashion and saville row? One of these monster phones is not unlike an OS map, after all.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: trouser pockets

One of those survival type trousers will do.

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Re: Yes, Invented.

ChrisInAStrangeLand,

I think it speaks well for Samsung management that someone came up with an odd idea, for the Galaxy Note, which probably seemed a bit odd, and they made it. And it turned out to be a success. So they went with it. I'm sure plenty of their phone models have failed, but given their profits from the phone division, they're obviously doing something right.

Apple's rigidity makes them vulnerable to someone doing to them exactly what they did to Nokia, if at any point they fail to adapt in a timely fashion, and someone else comes out with something even shinier than current top-end smartphones. In the meantime though, it probably maximises their profits - as Sammy and Apple basically hoover up all the profits in the industry between them.

As happens, it's not a moronic market segment either. Just because you don't want one doesn't mean it's not a valid product idea. I hate on-screen keyboards, but don't get on with the Blackberry style ones either. Therefore a stylus would be ideal for me. Although I don't send many texts or mobile emails, so have a smaller screened smartphone and do without. My phone is primarily for voice comms.

My friend who's a designer now has a Galaxy Note II. Because it allows him to photograph on site, sketch information on it, and email it to the office (or clients), all from one single device that's costing him about £300. A separate smartphone and 7" tablet for sketching would have been more flexible, but he preferred one thing to rule them all. For perfectly valid reasons.

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Re: trouser pockets

Is it time for the thigh pocket ('sadlebag') to escape

I think they're called "cargo pants".

I'll chip in with a previous poster and mention that my Nexus 7 fits in my front jeans pocket just fine.

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A $4 billion ad budget

The company with $4 billion ad budget came up with FONBLET? The same company that copied an iWatch rumor? Vision du jour.

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Facepalm

Re: A $4 billion ad budget

did you not realise Samsung had smart watches before their latest foray into the field?

If they had followed the iWatch rumour it would have taken them longer to get to market than it did... if anything I would suspect Apple found out about Samsungs new watch, realised they had no time to get to market first and claim they 'invented' the smart watch, so they released a rumour to make it look like it was a Samsung reaction to the iWatch....

Oh and I actually think Samsungs watch was a response to the pebble, btw the pebble is a better device for its purpose I think than Samsungs charge me every day watch...

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How do they do it?

I always find it slightly odd that a company which produces amazing components (when I build a computer, a lot of Samsung parts make their way inside - memory, hard disks and SSDs, and big OEMs seem to swear by Sammy's CPUs. They're a safe pair of hands, you can trust them.) makes such amazingly shitty finished products. I've had a Samsung TV, and a Samsung Washing Machine. Both crap. They lie about their performance and the build quality sucks sweaty balls. Same with their phones - cheap for a reason. It's weird. They've proven that they can make a good product - now they just need to deliver on more than just components.

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Re: How do they do it?

"They've proven that they can make a good product - now they just need to deliver on more than just components"

Try one of their cheap vacuum cleaners before you call any other product of theirs crap. But there is a reason, and that is simply that Samsung are a conglomerate. There's no meaningful link between the divisions that make white and brown goods and the semi conductors businesses, and some of the poorer products are coasting on the name of the better products. I don't expect that to change.

Having said that, I'm more than happy with the high end Sammy phones (mid to low end ones are indeed pants), and my Sammy TV has been excellent - far better than any competing products amongst friends and family.

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It'll fail

The 'phablet' genie is already out of the bottle. This attempt by Samsung to differentiate itself and take control of terminology is doomed to failure (phailure?). Just like MSFT's pathetic attempt to call their tablets 'slates', which has hopelessly failed as the word 'tablet' was already in common usage by then and continues to be the dominant term used in the market today.

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Anonymous Coward

Used by the beautiful, famous or especially athletic.

So Samesung think the rest of us are scum and not fit to use their product.

Nice to know our place :-(

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Re: Used by the beautiful, famous or especially athletic.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As you slob out on your sofa, and munch a burger, remember that being fat used to be a sign of male success or female attractiveness (because the poor and thin starved). Change your world view, and you are beautiful.

Likewise, the word athlete is derived from the Greek for one who participates in a competition or contest. So Lotto will qualify you. You beautiful, athletic person, you!

I can't help you on the fame angle, though, short of suggesting you commit some heinous crime.

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Re: Used by the beautiful, famous or especially athletic.

"I can't help you on the fame angle, though, short of suggesting you commit some heinous crime."

-just stop posting anon and at least (some) people will know who you are... a known, beautiful, athletic person (you, not me, I don't play lotto) :)

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Re: Used by the beautiful, famous or especially athletic.

They're using the strategy used by the fashion business.

If you use the same fondleslab as someone famous for being famous then some of their glamour will rub off on you (in a nice way, not a slightly sweaty moderately disgusting sort of rubbing).

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Anonymous Coward

Trying too hard to be 'cool'

They could have gone the whole hog and called it a FONZBLET.

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Happy

Re: Trying too hard to be 'cool'

Anonymous Sir or Madam, for that comment I salute you.

Reading excellent comments on El Reg... Happy Days...

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terrible 'name'

phablet was bad enough.

I quite like fondle-slab.

I tend to use 'slab' or 'slate' for all devices. Slate if it has a stylus, i suppose.

As for prior art...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wax_tablet

"tabula rasa" - a clean slate!

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Il fonblet

3rd person singular of 'fonbler' - to talk out of one's arse over the phone

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I'm skeptical about tablets bigger than 10"

But if this report and rumors that Apple will introduce a 12.9" tablet are true, I guess I must be wrong because both Samsung and Apple doing something means there probably is a market for it after all.

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Re: I'm skeptical about tablets bigger than 10"

I had a Tablet PC, back before the iPad came out. It was about a 13" widescreen - so a decent sized, but still portable, laptop. And it was wonderful, but very heavy. OK if you could support your elbow on a table, and tuck it in the crook of your arm, but otherwise tough for long periods. And you needed quite strong arms and hands for prolonged use.

The screen size was nicer - although Apple's 4:3 is better than widescreen (in my opinion). The weight not so much though. Having just played with the new iPad air, that hundred and something grammes they've just shaved off is a massive difference compared to my iPad 3. It really is huge, if your reading on the sofa for a couple of hours. Also they've made the bezel smaller. Having not been remotely tempted to upgrade, I now really want one. But if Apple or Samsung did a 12" iPad of about the same weight as my current one, I'd also be tempted. Chuck in a stylus too, and I'd dance a happy jig while handing over my credit card...

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