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back to article Does 'Star Wars' casting call hint at DEATH of LUKE SKYWALKER?

An open casting call for "lead roles in a Disney film" is rumoured to be the search for unknowns to lead the new Star Wars movies. Star Wars: The Complete Saga Disney is holding open auditions for an unnamed film in the UK and Ireland over the next couple of weeks looking for a male and female lead, according to @UKopencall …

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Bronze badge

Unless they're going to abandon canon (as all Star Wars extended universe books are, by diktat of Lucas), this won't be the death of Luke.

Alternative theory:

They're the younger versions of Mara Jade and Talon Karrde to give them backstory for the films. Which would actually make sense.

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This is JJ Abrams. He's likely to blast that canon in to tiny, tiny pieces and wee all over them.

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If it does turn into a Disney film we should expect a young Hannah Montana style story with a happy ending surrounded by sparkly fireworks and even the occasional moments when the cast begin dancing and singing.

Whoopee.

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That sounds exactly like the end of ROTJ.

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Yep

It will be Ewoks as as the eye can see from now on.

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Anonymous Coward

Canon was only enforced as long as Lucas was in charge. Without him at the helm we now have Disney accounts execs overseeing with their focus groups and statistics who will sell their souls to make a buck.

"According to our survey, if we want to get 18-35 year old women in the cinema, they want to see a strong, confident, independent heroine."

"Oooo, that's good, we'll put one in."

"Women who've had hard pasts always track well. What do you think? Orphan or personal tragedy?"

"Hmmm, we'll revisit that. There may not be room after the ball room dance segment for the 35 - 55 females."

"They'll want a good romance too. Romeo and Juliet type relationships always skew positive."

"Mmmmm, I'm loving that."

"14-18 year old males love fighters in space. You know, pew-pew"

"Great, we have time for two of those if we keep them short. What about the tweens? What are they into today?"

"The usual, My Little Pony, texting, selfies, unicorns, ..."

"Unicorns! Let's get creature effects onto that. Will look good on the lunch pails. Can we work in texting in some way? AT&T would pay through the nose to get some product placement."

"Will talk to props. Now, 18-35 year old men are likely to want more in-depth dialog about the force, mysticism,etc. You know, cheap Buddhist knockoff stuff like the Matrix."

"We'll get the writers on it, but keep it short. We still need time for the big lightsaber battle."

"No, we cut that remember. The special effects budget was slashed. Now it's the female leads discussing their feelings for twenty-five minutes."

"So that only leaves the 55 plus year old bracket unchecked."

"What's Angela Lansbury doing right now?"

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Joke

AT&T?

Wasn't there enough product placement for those in Empire Strike Back?

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Re MJ & Karrde

Which would work if their first meeting hadn't already happened in canon. Not to mention MJ was hoicked away from home by good ole uncle Palpatine (think social services in Zeyd cloth) at somewhere round the age of 2 or 3 & spends the rest of her time on an Evil Willow kick..

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Bronze badge

Re: Re MJ & Karrde

Just because they've met in canon doesn't mean they can't do it again on the screen.

This is why there's novels for all movies so far.

True about the whole Palpatine thing, but she didn't have the nicest of childhoods. I could let them get away with living by her wits in a mean city instead of coming right out and saying training as a courtesan assassin with telepathic and telekinetic powers while simultaneously being imbued with deep loyalty conditioning.

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Anonymous Coward

No, after market research revealed that the main target audience is teenagers who like to have stories based around people of there own age then Disney are launching the new "Star Wars: The Teenage Years" franchise.

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Coruscant 90210?! please by all that is holy; No!

If its not bad enough that Disney of the one dimensional character got a hold of it - now were going to be subjected to a live action mash up of Aladdin & X Wings?

All the reboots and remakes were bad enough - then it was Jar Jar & Padme "alt. die.die.die." Amadala - ye gods but the girl was as dim as a 40w bulb. Not to mention "she's lost the will to live" - "but we're in a starship medical bay!" "shut up and maybe the rednecks won't notice" scene. I mean REALLY? Even Colchester NHS could manage better..

I think the song "past the point of no return" from Phantom is soulcrushingly apt here.

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Of course they'll ignore the fact that most teenagers are withdrawn moody souls, zit faced, clumsy, part formed adults who think they know everything and that the world owes them whatever they want.

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Pint

The Only Way Is Endor!

As anyone who's been there will testify, TOTS-2000 in Saaaarfend on a Saturday night bears more than a passing resemblance to the Cantina scene from Episode IV. Even the description Obi Wan gives of Mos Eisley is appropriate for that particular town!

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Twilight Under Two Suns

It could be worse. Just think about teenage vampires on Tatooine.

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Re: Twilight Under Two Suns

...or Disney re-hiring Miley...

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Gold badge

Surely the world is now ready for: Star Wars! The musical!

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This is what happens when you put Abrahams at the helm

T&A red goop destroy all we know and love crap with rock and roll blaring in the background.

You'll be begging for jar jar

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Re: Twilight Under Two Suns

" Reply Icon

Twilight Under Two Suns

It could be worse. Just think about teenage vampires on Tatooine."

So basically we're going to be looking at "The Intergalactic Hunger for Blood Games in Sp-a-a-a-c-e (with lensflares)"?

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Devil

This is Disney

They hate parents name one major disney charactor that had both a survining Mother and Father because I can't think of any..

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Unhappy

Re: This is Disney

I was going to totally dispute this with you, until I sat down and started going through all of the Disney kids films I've seen. I was kinda shocked to realise you're right! I cant think of a single main character in a any Disney film I've seen who has both a mother and father (or doesnt at least end up having one of them knocked off in the first half of the film - aka Lion King).

Freaky!

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Bronze badge

Re: This is Disney

I cant think of a single main character in a any Disney film I've seen who has both a mother and father (or doesnt at least end up having one of them knocked off in the first half of the film - aka Lion King).

Counter-example: Wendy in "Peter Pan". Although her parents don't appear much in the film. This might be the only one, I think you are right in general.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: This is Disney

Freaky Friday.

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Re: This is Disney

Not just Disney. The same applies to a lot of children's stories.

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Re: This is Disney

Didn't the kid in Up have parents?

I don't think we ever saw them, but I think they existed.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: This is Disney

Mary Poppins charges

though not the greatest family

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Re: This is Disney

Rapunzel (in the Disney film 'Tangled')

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Happy

Re: This is Disney

The kid in "Up" only has a Dad if I remember correctly. Or at the least film implies that because it basically says he was raised by the maid who kept telling him to stop bothering his father.

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Re: This is Disney

Aurora (Sleeping Beauty for those of you without 7yr old daughters obsessed with Disney Princesses)

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Re: This is Disney

Emperors new groove sorta... I mean true he has to have no parents to be emperor but. ... I always thought it didn't have a MAIN character persay.

Love that movie

LILO and stitch fits your analogy tho

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Re: This is Disney

Mulan has both parents, and a grandmother living (and even more ancestors kicking around, even if they aren't exactly alive).

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Han Solo

this could be the early years of Han solo (he was an orphan) and Bria Tharen (who had parent issues) his early love interest.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Han Solo

Umm, sequels, not prequels.

Glasgow eh? So they're going for the genetically disadvantaged offspring of Luke and Leia then?

"You dole scum" :)

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Re: Han Solo

> Glasgow eh? So they're going for the genetically disadvantaged offspring of Luke and Leia then?

Um, according to the canon, Leia marries Han. Luke has multiple failed marriages before his courtship with Mara.

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WTF?

Why the requirement for smart?

Surely they're looking for actors who can play any intelligence level?

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Re: Why the requirement for smart?

They probably want to wheedle out the idiots before the casting day, its no good casting someone who is beautiful and athletic if they are as thick as two short planks and can't hold an interview... The smarter actors/actresses make better long term cast members...

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Calling beautiful people

You too could have the onscreen charisma to be the next Natalie Portman and Hayden Christiansen.

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I am your father

Two of my offspring match the age & gender criteria. I hope they don't already have anything planned for the open casting day in London because they'll have to drop it.

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Re: I am your father

These aren't the offspring you're looking for....

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Just great, another franchise goes to hell, thank you Mickey Mouse.

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Gold badge

What do you mean goes to hell? It already went to hell with the Phantom Morass. There were a couple of big dumb fun set-piece fights in the second one, which raised it above the dire, but the third one was absolutely dreadful. I guess that's what comes of casting an actor who can't. And giving everyone rubbish dialogue.

I doubt Abrams can make it any worse. Although you never know...

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Silver badge

I wouldn't blame the actors for what happened in Revenge of The Sith.

Plenty of good actors in that film, hampered by a shitty script, and a director with no ability to draw decent performances from any of them.

Ian McDiarmid seemed to be enjoying himself, mind (a bit like Raul Julia in Street Fighter!).

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Anonymous Coward

I'm waiting for the underwater spaceships, running from savages for no stated reason, and lensflare all over the place.

He destroyed the Star Trek franchise with his reboot. What odds do I get against him doing it again?

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Trollface

Ricardo Montalban he's not !!!

There is a rumor that JJ Abrams was so impressed

by Benedict Cucumber's ' Hatchet Job ' on the Trek

Baddie, Khan, that he's offered him the role of a young

Jar Jar Binks as he thinks he can make him more

' Hateful ' just by playing himself...if i was cucumber

i would bite his hand off..........then i would go for his throat...etc

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Bronze badge

FTFY

If director JJ Abrams is planning on any kind of familial links to the previous films, they may only get to show up if you can see past the lens flare.

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