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back to article Apple Store workers' inner journey revealed

Australia's location close to the International Date Line and Apple's policy of putting new products on sale at the same time everywhere in the world mean The Reg's Australian office gets the world's first look at fanboi reaction to new kit from the fruit factory. We do so at Apple Store Broadway, an Apple Store about three …

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Alien

So, slightly less cultish than usual

But still on a par with the Moonies (or for those too young to remember, Scientologists).

Actually, Scientology is probably a better fit, because it too is really just a commercial scam dressed up as religion.

Although I suppose one could make the same claim about any religion, to be honest.

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Education

"Adam, at the head of the queue, figured his new tablet would help with his studies. "

He will be fondling the slab so much that he will forget about his work, instead will Facebook, play games, watch porn and wake up one day to find he has failed his exams.

They don't make you cleverer, they just distract.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So, slightly less cultish than usual

They would all be the first on the the spaceship Golgafrincham Ark Fleet, Ship B along with frozen telephone sanitisers, hairdressers, and advertising account executives.

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Bronze badge

Re: So, slightly less cultish than usual

Are you referring to the fanbois, or the iDroids selling them that crap?

Or both?

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Genius

I went to the apple store on regent street a few years ago. It was a memorable experience. Firstly, because it was my first of two visits I've ever made, but mainly because of the encounter I had with a shop "genius". Not only could he not tell me if the intel chips in their mac book airs supported virtualisation, but he also tried to suggest OSX was the first 64 bit OS, a title which iirc belongs to Solaris. More droid than genius.

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Silver badge

Re: Genius

Genius is overstating the case somewhat - if they're the 99.8th percentile the human race is fucked.

I think 'salesperson' is the correct term.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Genius

Compared to the average computer sales person I have encountered the Apple variety are certainly a lot better.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Genius

Compared to the average computer sales person I have encountered the Apple variety are certainly no better.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Genius

At least they are pretty happy / pleasant to deal with. Even the ones that did not know the answer to the question were happy to find out.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Genius

Sorry, just read that back, to clarify, I'm talking about general pc sales staff, not Apple's.

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Re: Genius

First 64-bit OS? I was using a Cyber (CDC) 64-bit system in the 70s but I think that IBM had beaten them to the punch (pun intended...) Probably the first full 64-bit OS would have been from Cray but my memory may be faulty.

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Re: Genius

As the old joke goes...

What's the difference between a used car salesman and a computer salesman?

The used car salesman knows when he is bullshitting.

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Devil

I don't know if i should blame Marketing or Religion

... Actually i will blame Human Nature. We seem to like dividing ourselves into tribes and social groups and it seems most if not all have a core group of fanatics (religion, phones, sports team... i could go on and on) who shout louder and want to force their belief down another person throat, because there are either insecure in their choice and must convince everyone else they made the correct one or they are so blinded by the choice they cannot see the wood from the trees, of course there are many companies out there who love to exploit this fact.

Well I will say this for the group of technology fanatics at least there not burning anyone at the moment.

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This trolley with sweets on it... I bet there weren't any Kitkats on it.

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"Anthony, third in line, was a position or two back from his usual Apple launch slot and had the most cogent explanation for his intended purchase: he's out of memory in his 64GB iPad"

£579 for 128GB iPAD vs £48 for extra 64GB SD card to plug in to an existing tablet

Yep, most cogent explanation yet for why Apple don't include expandable storage

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Silver badge

Indeed. Now if only we could work out why Google don't....

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Anonymous Coward

Most tablets that take micro SD cards have up to 16Gb base (of which a lot is lost to the OS). So how many other tablets can take 128Gb internally or internal memory plus an internal micro SD card slot?

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Anonymous Coward

Apple charge £80 extra for the 128Gb model over the 64Gb model - so if you can buy a generic / 3rd party Micro SD card for £48 it's not really all that expensive. Yes I appreciate a micro SD you could remove and possibly re-task if you replace the iPad but most of these iPads are going to last 4-5+ years anyway.

So you may believe the iPad is expensive but over it's lifetime it's not so bad and the extra for 128Gb over 64Gb is not that bad either. I guess putting micro SD cards in / out of a device is a point of failure and is 128Gb of media not a pretty decent amount to carry in the size of a small magazine.

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Anonymous Coward

" these iPads are going to last 4-5+ years anyway."

except in this case, where it's lasted probably a year before becoming redundant.

Of course, another minor thing... £80 extra? Buy a 64GB version, £659. Fill it, buy a 128GB version, that's not £80 more, that's £739 more. Resale value, you cry. Last year's model, second hand, you won't get full price back, so your £80 is still a pipe dream.

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Anonymous Coward

just how little self-respect do you need to have in order to do that? If someone offered me a job, but, I had to wave my arms around and whoop and scream and clap a piece of electronics, I'd throw their crappy blue t-shirts in their face and walk out.

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Gimp

@AC 13:02

Don't get a job in an Apple Store then. It's not for me either (I don't think I could bring myself to whoop and cheer for any product, except maybe a pocket sized nuclear fusion device that also cured cancer), but we're all different. Apple employees seem to have more enjoyment in their work than many in retail, so good for them. Have you worked in retail? I have, and it can really suck. So don't criticise people for having no self respect when they are doing a perfectly reasonable job and by all appearances having fun hamming it up. I'll bet you that 9 out of 10 Apple Store employees think the whooping is all a little OTT but still genuinely enjoy these launch days.

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Anonymous Coward

Whooping an a hollering

Seems to be an american thing.

I worked for a now defunct US Company and there were a number of times where everyone but us ex-pats would whoop and a holler at the smallest thing. My manager pulled me aside and said that I was not a team player because I didn't join in the whooping with everyone else.

I told him politely that if there was something that I found worth 'whooping' I'd gladly join in. Ms Perks in Sales meeting her targets was not IMHO something worth going overboard over.

Needless to say that I didn't last long in that position.

The company went into Chap 11 about 9 months later. Far too much whooping an a hollering to get any real work done.

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Anonymous Coward

re - Seems to be an american thing.

Common Sales tactics to make you 'belong'.

A bit like being cheered in the school cross country. Its wanting the team to win.

Here, the Apple team is cash pile situated off-shore out of the tax mans hands.

I'd really boo as loud as you can. That tax man is our team and the likes of Apple will bankrupt the economy!

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Anonymous Coward

yep... the latest fruity fondleslab, for the same unwashed lot of people who can't think for themselves

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