[Winks seductively at Google]
I live in the middle of a muddy field surrounded by sheep. My nearest mobile cell tower is 20 miles away, hidden behind several large hills and a tractor, and my "broadband" operates at speeds roughly comparable to a 1980s fax machine. Apparently BT is scheduled to upgrade my exchange the year after my great grandchildren die of old age.
I believe this may qualify as third world conditions, even though I allegedly live in a modern, civilised country, so is there any chance you could gigify my Internets, thus allowing me to join the rest of the 21st century, stream pr0n at acceptable speeds, and other such essential activities?
If you do this favour for me, I promise to be your bitch forever.