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back to article Apple's Hacker Princess really needs to stay away from Idaho cops

Apple has given a job to a "princess hacker" in a move that potentially opens the fruity firm up to police raids... that's if its new employee ever visits Idaho. Kristin Paget tweeted pictures of her Apple business card yesterday, which clearly showed her bizarre new job title. But Paget risks attracting the unwanted attention …

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because a US district court has ruled that anyone calling themselves a "hacker" forfeits their Fourth Amendment protection against unreasonable searches and property seizures.

hack·er

noun

3. Computer Slang.

a. a computer enthusiast.

b. a microcomputer user who attempts to gain unauthorized access to proprietary computer systems.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hacker?s=t

judge

noun

1. Slang. a public officer authorized to hear and decide cases in a court but lacks common sense.

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Joke

Not that sort of hacker ...

... no, your honour, I don't know anything about computers ... I'm just very bad at golf ...

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Re: Not that sort of hacker ...

Or an unskilled news reporter?

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Anonymous Coward

So She was once a man called Chris? So I am assuming He had his nuts hacked off to become a She.

Princess Hacker seems apt.

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In Idaho...

If I call myself chairman, I'm legally obliged to let people sit on me

If I call myself Colonel, people are permitted to tell me I sound like a nut

If call myself Bill Gates, people can walk through me, but I can charge them a fee

If my name is Jobs, people can do me

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Re: In Idaho...

In Idaho, three quarters of the population are still puzzled by the absence of a dial on their cell phone.

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Coat

Re: In Idaho...

We don't want to know about Idaho. That sort of thing should be kept private.

(I know, I know...)

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Anonymous Coward

Back in the day

(Yes, I'm old)

To hack something was a positive thing. Usually to fix a driver, performance issue, or piece of code. A hacker was a term of endearment for a talented person who could fix things quickly. That term has been maligned over the years by mass media who don't know what the heck they're talking about and hacker is now a negative thing.

Personally, if someone does a malicious thing with a computer, they are not hackers in my mind. They're simply criminals.

For someone to take away your fourth amendment rights simply because of what you are called is a dangerous and slippery slope. Today it's hacker. Tomorrow, it could be democrat.

America. Circling the drain since 2007.

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Re: Back in the day

Worse, they will simply remove the 4th amendment..

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Re: Back in the day

America. Circling the drain since 2007 September 11, 2001.

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Re: Back in the day

It's already Republican. Or was the IRS just ahead of the courts?

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Pint

Re: Back in the day

Circling the drain since January 20, 2001...

C'mon El Reg... where's my wine glass?

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Anonymous Coward

With this name the only title appropriate for me at Apple would be CEO.

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Anonymous Coward

"What snazzy name would you pick if you worked for Tim Cook and co, commentards?"

Chief Hater.

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Hammock compliance officer

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Hacker v Cracker

Hackers HACK, because they "get it", they take it apart.

Crackers CRACK, because they inappropriately access systems they are not permitted to.

That was how I was taught to distinguish the act and the terms. We were taught about "blackhats" and "whitehats".

These idiotic, STUPID bureacrats are destroying the terminology and imperiling millions who LEGITIMATELY are hackers, but not crackers.

WTF should anyone acknowledge the legitimacy of a district court or ruling if it cannot with better precision distinuguish UP FRONT the people it will prosecute, instead of fucking around with time-honored industry terminology.

INT WTF. I support legitimate HACKERS, not illegitimate CRACKERS. I'm neither a "hacker" nor a "cracker" -- I cannot program or do anything dangerous or illegal with the code. Nor am I a lawyer, but, in this case, DOJ/State/Fed lega "experts" just do not "get" it. WAFS.

Come after me. I DARE you -- I DOUBLE DARE you.

Word to the wise of you justices -- go back to the sysadmin schools and ask the curriculum creators, the instructors, and the industry pros.

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Anonymous Coward

My Corporate Job Title

Head Twunt.

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Re: My Corporate Job Title

Best possible job title: HIM and other variations of this pronoun. Examples - "Oh no, it's HIM!" "Get to work, HE's coming!" "Don't sit there, that's HIS chair!"

Or for the ladies, HER and other variations of this pronoun.

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Choose your own job title

Janitor. Because I'm always cleaning up other people's messes.

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Anonymous Coward

Instead of "Princess"...

Maybe Pontiff Hacker ...

Courts can't touch a Pope.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Instead of "Princess"...

Courts can't touch a Pope.

But you risk having underlings who are a tad too enthusiastic about the whole "think of the children" idea.

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Re: Instead of "Princess"...

"Pontiff hacker"

Ah, you'd only work on bridged networks?

Apple's policy on titles was that you could have what you wanted on your business card as long as your boss approved it, and (when I was there) they usually did unless it was offensive (I had a fairly staid "Senior Software Engineer", but only because I had to get them at short notice, and couldn't think of anything clever). I can't remember many of the odd ones now, but there was definitely a "Network Test-Pilot", while a friend's card had him as "Chief Morale Officer".

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"'What' ain't no WORD I ever heard of. Do they speak 'what' where you come from?"

"You said you started this out with the 'best of intentions'.... WHAT does Marcellus Wallace look like?"

"What?"

"I said, 'What does Marcellus Wallace LOOK LIKE?'"

"Well, he's Black."

"Does he look like a bitch?"

"What?"

.... More 'whats'...

"'What' ain't no WORD I ever heard of. Do they speak 'what' where you come from?"

"EEEEGLISH, mothe**Eer! ENGLISH!"

"What?"

"Say 'WHAT' again! I DARE you. I DOUBLE-DARE you, mothe*&%#er!"

Someone needs to play the Samuel L. Jackson Character to the Butch Character on the contemptuous use of "hacker" instead of "cracker". Well, that is, assuming the press hasn't screwed this up, again.

OTOH, in the USA, the use of the term "cracker" doesn't go over very well politically, as historically, in contemptable US historical race relations, "cracker" long ago was a racially derogatory term slured at whites by blacks or others mistreated by or seriously disliking of certain or all of whites.

So, for those of you outside of the USA and deprived of this criticial distinction, you may now be let in on why the USA mainstream PC, namby-pamby press is reticent to or wary of using the term "cracker", even though it was, in the context of computer programming, most likely coined by a USA Caucasian software developer or co-opted by one from another used not tied to race relations.

And now, a measly, pliant, word-munging US district court is threatening to imperil developers the world over because of "minor semantics".

Sheesh!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "'What' ain't no WORD I ever heard of. Do they speak 'what' where you come from?"

Thanks for that explanation - never came across that before.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "'What' ain't no WORD I ever heard of. Do they speak 'what' where you come from?"

*

"What country are you from?"

"What?"

"What ain't no country I ever heard of, they speak english in what?"

"What?!"

"ENGLISH MOTHERF*CKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!"

Apologies good sir, but if you quote a Tarantino, please quote it correctly.

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Ahh, Frak!

Ahh, Frak!

I misnamed the character. It wasn't "Butch", to whom Julius was speaking. Also, lest the gov hounds mistake me for inciting insurrection or some planet-busting event, the stuff I posted in semi-discombobulation is to be taken in relative context to the lopsidededness of the implications of basic silencing of software developers.

Besides, whatever happened to "innocent until proven guiltly" in the USA? Moreover, what gives the Court the right to unilaterally reassign the meaning of "hacker" to a term meant to fast track the discontinuation of legitimate, non-crime-involved hackers/developers from proudly, legitimately calling themselves 'hackers' should they choose to.

In this case, I wholly back Apple if it goes to trial with $500M in laywers to stomp and squish this heinous piece of misguided legislations/judiciary wordplay, if indeed, again, the press has not misstated words in an attempt to currry vibrant news discussion in forums.

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Anonymous Coward

An alternative approach?

I think it may be more educational to call a black hat hacker a "judge". If we all adopt that standard, this specific judge may attract the disapproval of his peers for having been a total tool, and this may prove far more effective than yet again having to explain that a hacker is simply someone who enjoys exploring limits, usually of technology. All that explaining has produced zero results, so (as good hackers) we test a different approach.

Let's try a few examples. Your software or website has been judged. A judge has damaged your corporation to the tune of $x millions. A judge is wanted in the US for judging into military computers etc. etc.

You get the idea. Judge the language.

Oh, you cannot tel the difference between a judge and a judge? That's easy. A judge who judges a website is a black hat judge. One that sits in a courtroom is a white hat judge. Even though many wear black hats.

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Re: An alternative approach?

Or at least a white wig judge?

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Don't say "hacker", say "reverse engineering".

'nuf said.

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Reverse?

Then, some legislator or DA will call it "Preverse", and then another will amend it to be "Perverse", and then, THEY will say, "nuf said", and we STILL will be on the perverse, loosing and losing end.

Well, I'm thinking dark/too far ahead permaturely and prematurely, hehehehe...

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Apple has a long and storied history of letting employees choose the titles they put on their business cards. This page from Folklore.org, a website run by some of the company's former employee who where there from the beginning, has one story:

http://www.folklore.org/StoryView.py?project=Macintosh&story=Software_Wizard.txt&sortOrder=Sort%20by%20Date&detail=medium&search=business%20card

There is also a rumoured story of one engineer who had the title CEO printed on his Apple business card.

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Pint

CEO

Chief Easychair Occupier.

Chips Enjoyment Officer

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Job title

"My Corporate Job Title"

Wanker

Just make official what my colleagues have been saying for years, behind my back!

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Joke

Re: Job title

I used to describe myself as a Constantly Under-valued Networking Technologist.

The other guys just used the acronym!

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Reality Distortion Field Generator Maintenance Supervisor

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Since when does anyone, including hackers, forfeit their 4th amendment rights?

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Go

Please check out the linked article in the story. A guy had his rights forfeited without his knowledge because he called himself a hacker on his website.

Hence this article...

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Anonymous Coward

The obvious...

Chief Cash-Pile Manager (answerable to no one)

Where manager = spender.

Next question:

How many terahertz and petabytes can chipzilla squeeze into a nice unobtrusive wearable device for $100 billion? That leaves plenty of change still for Mars Bars and Guinness.

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Headmaster

hacker princess...

...is fairly straightforward, but "princess hacker" raises the question of how someone would go about hacking one.

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Re: hacker princess...

It seems that she has already hacked herself. She used to be a "prince hacker".

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Joke

Title??

God

Oh, sorry, that one is already taken.

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A title and a bit of prehistory

My job title should be 'Mushroom', because I'm always kept in the dark and fed bullshit.

As for misusing 'hacker', why doesn't everyone just call them what they were called back in the bad ol' days before internet? Phreaks.

*Phreak: A phreak is someone who breaks into the telephone network illegally, typically to make free long-distance phone calls or to tap phone lines. The term is now sometimes used to include anyone who breaks or tries to break the security of any network.

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Re: A title and a bit of prehistory

Or what they were called back in the bad ol' days before internet?

Snoops. Or journalists.

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Idaho, land of Napoleon Dynamite

The only way this ruling could affect her in any way is if it applies to Idaho airspace as well. The definition of flyover country is a state like Idaho.

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Code Monkey

Pass the peanuts, please.

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Otaking, King of Brains.

Nuff said.

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My current employer let me choose my own title, and I’d be pleased to have the same one at Apple: Minister of Propaganda.

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Linux

That's an easy one:

"iDiot". There's not enough money in the world that could convince me to work for them, ever. Same goes for Microsoft.

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Anonymous Coward

WOW, she's pretty!

Another lost soul.

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