back to article Wanna be Zuckerberg's neighbor? Tough luck, he bought the block for $30m

How much would you pay to live next door to Mark Zuckerberg? Answer: Probably not as much as Zuck himself has paid to make sure you don't live next door to him. The San Jose Mercury News reports that the Facebook founder has shelled out more than $30m to buy four houses adjacent his five-bedroom residence in an upscale …

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Paris Hilton

How very ironic of him.

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How very ironic of him.

Bitch

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Megaphone

Re: How very ironic of him.

Hell! I'd write a cheque for 30 Million to NOT have to live next door to Mr Z.

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Re: How very ironic of him.

Well as it happens I might just have property that you might be interested in. Now if you will send me 7 million as a deposit I am sure that I can guarantee that you wont be living next door to El Zuck...

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So, what's he gonna put in those houses?

Hookers, perhaps?

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Re: So, what's he gonna put in those houses?

It says at the end of the article.

I dare say the families' defamation lawyers will be in touch shortly.

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privacy

I wonder how he would react if someone started a facebook page to pay 'homage' to Zuck by employing facebook users to record and share every thing they can gather about him.

Will probably be deleted real soon.

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Re: privacy

You mean...

https://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Hate-Mark-Zuckerberg/164023133648837

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"market it to buyers who liked the idea of being Zuckerberg's neighbor"

Is there a fetish equivalent to "rule 34"?

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Is there a fetish equivalent to "rule 34"?

Actually, that one's waaay older than the internet:

"Anything that can be imagined is somebody's fetish."

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Re: "market it to buyers who liked the idea of being Zuckerberg's neighbor"

>>>developer planned to build a large house on one of the properties and market it to buyers who liked the idea of being Zuckerberg's neighbor.

That's one canny developer, clearly it was a brilliant bluff to get the antiprivacy king to spaff his money on paranoid privacy.

We all know no such person exists, but apparently Zuck thinks he's bait for the unwashed. Be a good call for the next con man to play on his ego and paranoia, clearly a weak point.

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Re: "market it to buyers who liked the idea of being Zuckerberg's neighbor"

Still makes me wonder what would've happened if some other rich (if not richER) person made a counteroffer over the top of Zuckerberg's and got one of the properties instead. THEN turned out to be the kind of untrusting person who spied on his/her neighbors...

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If you're on Facebook, you're a whore

And Zuckerberg's your pimp. It's crass, but it's not incorrect.

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Re: If you're on Facebook, you're a whore

In Zuckerberg's on words, your a 'dumb fuck' if you trust him with your personal details.

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Anonymous Coward

Why stop at one block?

He could just buy up all of Palo Alto and start charging everybody a fixed rent. He'd get his own police force, too. Turn the city into a subsidy of Facebook Inc. and use all the rent to subsidize his employee's comfy connected lives. After all, Palo Alto is too expensive for mere engineers these days, and he's probably not paying them enough to live right next to the old Sun campus.

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*Please* don't give him ideas. Next thing you know he'll call himself Larry Ellison too :)

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All of Palo Alto? Uh ... no.

~30,000 houses @ 1.3 million (average) each?

Not even Zuck's only-on-paper, not really real-world money would cover that ... And I'm not selling the twit my house in the Johnson Park neighborhood, regardless.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: All of Palo Alto? Uh ... no.

Jake, I understand that you recently bought all the houses in your neighborhood because you heard Mark Zuckerberg wanted to be your neighbor!!

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What a dim-witted plonker.

He could have spent less than half of that & moved up Page Mill road, and had a couple dozen acres of elbow-room.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What a dim-witted plonker.

Yeah, but then he would have to deal with some Bay Area traffic.

And that's for the little people... not El Zuckerino.

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@AC: 06:51, Re: traffic (was: What a dim-witted plonker.)

Yeah, maybe fifteen minutes, considering he defines his own schedule.

Also, considering he defines his own schedule, commute time is immaterial.

Also, considering he defines his own schedule, working from home is an option.

Also, considering he defines his own schedule, well, he defines his own schedule.

He's a dimwitted plonker, regardless.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: @AC: 06:51, traffic (was: What a dim-witted plonker.)

No dispute over your conclusion ;-)

Actually, @Cliff nailed it.

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Re: What a dim-witted plonker.

"Yeah, but then he would have to deal with some Bay Area traffic."

Helicopter?

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@ Charles Manning (was: Re: What a dim-witted plonker.)

What? Drive to PAO, fly out of PAO, land at PAO, drive to work?

Oohh-kayyy ...

Granted, I have a friend who commutes to PAO out of Pescadero via helicopter ... But for that kind of commute, it makes sense if you have the money. Even if the total distance isn't all that far. Shaves about 40 minutes off his round-trip commute, when you include pre-flight checks.

(I just looked ... Mapquest is deluded as to route, as usual. Pescadero to Loma Mar, right turn on Alpine Road, over Skyline/Hwy35, down Pagemill, and you're in Palo Alto. Helps if you know the roads and know how to drive ;-)

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Sad

What a sad, lonely and shallow life these mega-rich people live.

I spent an evening in the grubbiest bar in a grubby fishing port and the craic was so good that I nearly split my sides with laughing. Beat night out for a cost of £20. The rich would never dare go into such a place for fear of being robbed or just regular paranoia.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Sad

Indeed.

To be fair, though, if Zuckerberg were spotted slumming in a grubby fishing port he might get his face bashed in.

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FAIL

Re: Sad

Did you even read the article? He didn't buy the houses to keep away from the "little people " - he bought them because someone was planning on building big on the sites, and marketing the properties as "be Mark Zuckerbergs neighbour"

It also goes on to say that the residents of these houses will continue to live there.

The problem with inaccurate posts from obviously biased people, is that such posts dilute and detract from any possible legitimate critisism.

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You never home alone

with a drone.

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Oh, fuck you Mr Z...

I would happily pay £19bn not to live anywhere near Zuckerberg...

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Re: Oh, fuck you Mr Z...

Personally, for $19 beeeelion I'd be more than happy to live next door to Zuckerboig. Hell, for that money I'd live in his bathroom.

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Oz

Re: Oh, fuck you Mr Z...

But then he might shoot you, thinking you were a "burglar"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Oh, fuck you Mr Z...

My house is for sale and nowhere near Zuckerberg.

Only asking $1bn as it's next to the gasworks.

Bootnote, I'm using FF with Brit spell checker dictionary and I kid you not that it recommends changing the spelling of Zuckerberg to cocksucker - made me chuckle.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Oh, fuck you Mr Z...

@ Pen-y-gors

"Personally, for $19 beeeelion I'd be more than happy to live next door to Zuckerboig. Hell, for that money I'd live in his bathroom."

you're cheap bitch, stooping so low, etc.

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Facepalm

A Zucker...

... sorry, Sucker and his money soon are parted...!

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Dread to think...

..what the T&C's of living in one of those houses is... or the conditions around leaving..

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Re: Dread to think...

For the above post 'is' = 'are' ;-)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Dread to think...

Presumably, it's the same deal as using Landlord Zuckerberg's web site: your contract says that every personal item you put in the house belongs to him, he can sell reproduction rights to the highest bidder, and you have no ownership claims whatsoever because he's the landlord.

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Re: Dread to think...

Presumably also, they aren't so onerous that Zucks can't find millions of people willing to sign up. There's no indication that any of the nearest neighbours were actually short of cash at the time and yet the first 4 out of 4 jumped at the deal on offer.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Dread to think...

Yeah, I was just sitting in my 1-million dollar house on the right side of the tracks, minding my own business, not giving a toss about my rich neighbor Zuckerberg — he's always at FB HQ so never see him anyway — when suddenly my estate agent at Engulf & Devour Properties phones up...

Mr. Engulf says: "hey, I know you are there happy as a clam, but I told Mr. Zuckerberg that you are going to sell your house to some goon who wants to sidle up to him all neighborly-like. Not true, but what does he know? Of course, Zuckerberg can peer into others' lives but would never tolerate others peering into his, so he offered to buy you out for 14 million. As your estate agent, I will collect my usual 6% commission — a cool 840K — whereas you, sir, will reap 14x market value on your crumbly 50s Eichler tract house. What say you to that, sir?"

Naturally, I told him I'd sell.

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Re: Dread to think...

Hi..I thought your comment to be extremely bloody amusing!!...heheheheheh...I also noticed it seemed to have the rythm of that old stones song...'the girl with far away eyes....'

I write to provoke people to research into New Order events to try to do me over...and learn in the process that they may not be quite up to speed with their world ..so it sounds always very serious however lighthearted I make it.......Notwithstanding that I have a really good sense of humour and the ridiculous....and always write with a smile, your comment gave me a real smile...best for days ....Voila, Thanks...Jaques.

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That's what you call un-friending, and they weren't even friends yet.

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Actually I don't call anything "unfriending". Can we add crimes against the English language to the list of crimes against privacy?

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And this is what's wrong with "Post Privacy"

You can always buy yourself privacy.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: And this is what's wrong with "Post Privacy"

And tough luck if you DON'T have 14 million dollars to buy yourself privacy.

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WTF?

a tony neighborhood of San Francisco

A what?

An acronym maybe? Tits Out for New York? Too Old, Not Young?

Or is it just near the zoo and the tigers?

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Windows

Oh how clever

Clever, clever developer.

Made a profit and didn't have to build one single stick.

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Anonymous Coward

inception

= a clever plan by a developer to sell the plots to Mark Z. by planting an idea in his brain that the plots are to be sold to somebody else.

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Anonymous Coward

So the neighbours wanted to sell, but now Zuck's going to buy the houses, they want to stay, and lease the same house from him? Does that not seem a bit weird to anybody else?

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hah

Zuck's not so clever. For a start he doesn't employ me.

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it'd be interesting to know...

for all the negative comments on here about the motherzucker, how many of you have ever logged into facespacetweetg+? i know i never have. then again, i also don't utilise the uber-secure services of dropbox, SEN and/or g-mail. You may not agree with the zucks way of doing things, but he got there before anyone else and made a bucketload of $$ that none of you would knock back if it was offered to you.

Bootnote, I'm using FF with Brit spell checker dictionary and I kid you not that it recommends changing the spelling of Zuckerberg to cocksucker - made me chuckle. <-- even if it's not true, it's very funny....

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