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back to article DEATH WATCH counts down seconds to wearer's demise

A self-described group of "designers, free-thinkers, lovers and life-aficionados" has launched a Kickstarter project for a new digital wristwatch that keeps time by counting down the moments until the wearer's death. Tikker, the watch that counts down to your death Last orders, please "Imagine someone told you that you only …

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Go

They need to put a little microphone in the watch...

"These stadium nachos are delicious!...Hey, my watch stopped!!"

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@ Marketing Hack - Re: They need to put a little microphone in the watch...

. . . and a GPS tracker. Every time you get onto the M25, it moves your die-by-date 48 hours closer.

<sarky>By the way: Isn't there already an app for that? What good is anything if it isn't on an iPhone?</sarky>

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How ridiculous, there have been countdown timers for Christmas, Birthdays etc in the app stores.

You might even be tempting fate, and fate does not like being tempted...

Watch out for that bu......s.

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Fabulous. Maybe they can tie this in to your insurance costs. Also fun would be if users shelf lives were automatically posted to Facebook, that way you could track the impending doom of your nemesis.

If you want a watch that will display a random number, I'll sell you as many as you like for $10 per. If you're involved in a doomsday cult I'll do volume discounts for multiples with synchronized times.

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Does it come with a death time guarantee?

'Cause if it hits zero, and I'm not dead, I want my money back!

And if I croak before it hits zero... Can my family get a refund?

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Pirate

@ Captain DaFt - Re: Does it come with a death time guarantee?

The watch is 100% accurate, due to the incorporated hypodermic cyanide injector in the back.

Skull. Guess why.

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Re: @ Captain DaFt - Does it come with a death time guarantee?

Nope, still inaccurate if I kick off early.

"Looking both ways before crossing is for wienies!" - Road Kill

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Re: Does it come with a death time guarantee?

Yes, what the artist's impression doesn't show that will have to be incorporated into the final design is the big fat law-suit avoidance disclaimer on the front. "This is bollocks," only in legalese.

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Happy

Re: @ Captain DaFt - Does it come with a death time guarantee?

I want one.

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Borrowed time?

So, if you have an accident and succumb, will you ever know that "your time is up"?

Of course, if I give one to my mom (who turned 95 last month) will it be accurate?

It seems to me that all one needs to do is have it count down form age of 100 years, and hope for the best. It would give me another ~40 years to go

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Anonymous Coward

I'm not smoking what these guys are smoking ....

What a great gift idea .... NOT ?!

Buy two get one free ..... DON'T ?!

One for Him, one for Her .... NO THANKS ?!

Or just watch "In Time / I'm.mortal" (2011) ....

I think I'd rather have Butch's watch from "Pulp Fiction" and a normal life ....

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Facepalm

Really...?

This "idea" dumb in 2007, when the IT Crowd mercilessly made fun of it in season two. It didn't get any smarter since.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Really...?

This "idea" dumb in 2007, when the IT Crowd mercilessly made fun of it in season two

Though there is earlier prior art ... as the idea is basis of Logan's Run

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Def
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This is basically asking to be sued:

"I'm suing you because I spent all my life's savings last week because your watch said I was going to die on Saturday but didn't."

"I'm suing you because my grandfather's watch said he had another three months to live, but he died last Thursday and I didn't get to say goodbye."

Ad infinitum.

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TRT
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You know that moment...

When you fill the form in and go to checkout your order and the "Pay by Cheque" and "Standard delivery" options are greyed out, leaving only cleared fund payment and same day / next day by noon delivery options...

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Seems mildly relevant.

http://futurama.wikia.com/wiki/Death_Clock

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Re: Seems mildly relevant.

prior art, I'd say!

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Needs development

The clock would actually make sense if it updated the estimate according to some reasonable observations. For example, if it finds the wearer is too sedentary (the clock does not observe enough walking or running motion), the time shortens. Likewise if it detects too much radiation, or smoke in the air.

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Re: Needs development

Except that that French woman who was, when she died, the oldest woman in history, sat around on her arse all day smoking like a chimney, while the man who introduced jogging to the UK died young of a heart attack.

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Pirate

Re: Needs development

Wrote :- "if it finds the wearer is too sedentary (the clock does not observe enough walking or running motion), the time shortens. "

Fine, except I had two relatives who have died because of taking excercise; one of them, previously fit as a fiddle, actually on a treadmill at the gym. Ditto a workmate (only 25 yo) who died during a lunchtime "keep-fit" run.

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@Squander Two - : Needs development

Wrote :- "the oldest woman in history, sat around on her arse all day smoking like a chimney"

She was one of what doctors call the "Indestructable five per cent". Churchill was another - overweight, lived on pork chops and champagne, smoked all the time, and lived till 91.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Needs development

Outliers on the standard deviation curve.

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Complete Anarchy

I would hate to imagine the pyschological effect that such a watch might have. It is just as likely to start instilling nihilistic thoughts in peoples heads. When they have eventually reasoned deeply enough that life really does not have any purpose and all that remains left is too die they might just start behaving a little "crazilly"....

Eary thought....

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I suspect that for the vast majority of buyers, the watch will die before they do...

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Angel

What? You mean it doesn't come with a lifetime guarantee?

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"You mean it doesn't come with a lifetime guarantee?"

Sure it does. "This watch is guaranteed to continue working throughout its lifetime." That is, until it breaks.

What? You meant YOUR lifetime? Ha ha, fooled you!

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Lifetime guarantee...

your life, or that of the watch?

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Very original idea

Not copying the film In Time at all

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Originality.

"In Time" was based on a subplot of the book "Only Forward" by Michael Marshall Smith.

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Wouldn't it be better to count how long you've been around? That way you can try and beat your personal best...

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Pointing the bone?

Er, no thanks.

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Market opportunity. Attach it to enterprise tech offerings.

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JDX
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What is the point?

What do you do when it gets to 0 and you're still fit and well?

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_Time_%28film%29

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M7S
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Do Sandmen still get to renew?

Only I've got this itching in my palms

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Local time

If local time is 12:76, I'm not sure I quite trust the maths in this thing.

Anyway, if it says I have 30 years to live and I fall under a bus, can I get my money back?

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Re: Local time

If local time is 12:76, I'm not sure I quite trust the maths in this thing.

It's just extremely local. What, you don't have your own personal system for representing time? Man, I didn't expect Register readers to be such sheeple.

(Geez, is it 15.4π already?)

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Happy

Prior art

Karl Pilkington: "I've come up with this idea of a wrist-watch that tells you when you're gonna die"

Ricky Gervais: "But how would it work?"

KP: "You wear it on your wrist"

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Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Behold, the death clock. Simply jam your finger in the hole, and this readout tells you how long you have to live.

Leela: Does it really work?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well, it's occasionally off by a few seconds, what with free will and all.

Fry: Sounds like fun. How long do I have to live?

[sticks his finger in the hole; the professor looks and whistles]

Bender: Ooh! Dibs on his CD player!

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Remember Douglas Evans?

He did try to point out the implications of believing that "digital watches are a pretty neat idea".

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Mushroom

@ David Pollard - Re: Remember Douglas Evans?

Adams. Douglas Adams.

Philistine.

;-)

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Anonymous Coward

It could just be me, of course...

...but I seem to have such an in-built clock running in my brain...

Human Condition?

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Anonymous Coward

incorrect by design

I bet the watch never estimates that you should have died some time in the past - it would be obviously wrong if it did - and not much use a death predictor watch. So it has to always estimate some time in future, no matter how old you are. Therefore, the watch must continuously adjust your death date forward the older you get (otherwise it may report you should already be dead).

So all the watch can predict with any degree of certainty is that you will die sometime in the future. Thanks.

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tweaks

The time on that watch is 12:76.

Sounds like more than 'a few tweaks' are needed.

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Damn!

I've only got 10 seconds left to post this messa

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Pirate

Death Clock Link

No-one seems to have posted a link to this yet :-

www.deathclock.com

It has been there for years.

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it blesseth twice

It seems to me that anyone giving the watch as a present might find that his down needs to be set drastically forward.

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Devil

Questions and Calculations

Does it ask you how much you earn, so it can calculate how many precious seconds you will have to spend at work to pay for it?

Does it ask if you are married so it can reflect your drastically reduced longevity after your significant other finds out how much it cost?

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Anonymous Coward

Pointless

What a pointless idea. Surely, we all already rely on our Lifeclock crystals (implanted at birth) to change colour when our time is up.

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