That's no volcano.
"Hey, you'll never believe this"
"you know the old Death Star mark 2s?"
- "before my aeon"
"yes you do. It was before we even knew how to goose stars into nova so we sent a ship instead"
- " oh. Vaguely. Wasn't that the one where we spent loads yet it got blown up with one fighter?. Good job guys."
"No, that was the Mark 1. Just too small so a bit vulnerable. The DS2s were chunkier."
- "yeah, yeah. Is this going anywhere?"
"Oh yes. Sorry. Well they should have all been decommissioned at least a galactic turn ago. But we lost a few. One's just come online."
- "crikey! It's still working? Where is it?"
"it says it's in the Sol system. The manifest says it was put there in a failsafe tech-detect mode. Apparently they were worried that the pond scum on planet 3 was getting organised. We missed it because we thought it was a duplicate."
- "oh yes, I'd seen a report on them. Trilobites or something. Didn't the rock get on the blitz list for asteroid impacts though?"
"yes, looks like the tough little critters survived. Now they've landed on the DS with some tech. Which set off the alarm."
- "well, surely it's slagged them then?"
"nah. Shut down. Control system went offline. Lost the atmos buffer so the old girl's taken a pounding. As soon as the power goes you lose the big storm system over the primary weapon and the rest goes with it. Main armament seems to have overheated too. You know what that does."
- "oh. filled the dish with magma! Blimey. What are we going to do when the Trills discover it's not a real geology? We'll be sacked!!! Goose that star quick, I don't care that it's not on the schedule. This is worse than that Andromeda cock up."
"Oh, don't worry. I've got a big old DS3 next orbit out. they'll think that's a natural storm. That bad boy's hot and ready to cook. Let me just...."*click*
And across the universe, billions of voices cried out and were suddenly silenced.