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back to article Fan whips out own pair of iPhone 32Cs, 'unlocks' mobe using breasticle

A pair of fanbois in China have exposed their chests to the world in a bid to prove the iPhone 5S fingerprint scanner can be tricked into accepting nipples. The internet has been ablaze with rumours that toes, penises, noses and even the paws of a pet cat can be used to trick the iPhone 5S fingerprint detector. However, …

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Trollface

*holes

I wonder if they have tried using their arseholes yet, it would appear that there enough of them around.

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JDX
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Re: *holes

If you can talk out of yours, they can probably use theirs as fingers.

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Re: *holes

Let me guess , JDX just bought an iPhone 5S and was currently considering alternative security measures but now the plot has failed. .... The secret is out

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Anonymous Coward

Re: *holes

Your getting confused with glasholes

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Joke

Re: *holes

Khaptain, that reminds me of something.

"Mum, can someone get pregnant from anal sex?" - "Of course, where else would all the arseholes come from?"

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JDX
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Re: *holes

Diddums, so it's OK for you to call people names but not for people to call you on being an obnoxious jerk?

PS: I've never owned an iPhone.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: *holes

So the mugger will not only cut my fingers of, he will take my nipples as well?

Time to sit on my phone, let him have a go at that!

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Re: *holes

Then why not let them take offense on their own behalf instead of stepping up to the plate?

And for Azathoth's sake turn your joke detector on.

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Re: *holes

"I wonder if they have tried using their arseholes yet"

Well, I have heard that it will work if you use your elbow, and everybody knows at least one 'winner' that can't tell their elbow from their... :)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: *holes

:-) well it offers an alternative excuse to *slipping* in the shower while using the phone...

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It seems that you can buy an iPhone, but you can't buy classy.

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toes, penises, noses and even the paws

Not lips? I can't believe that fanbois (and fangurlz) wouldn't love to be able to kiss their iShiny awake.

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Re: toes, penises, noses and even the paws

Nah, much more arousing to rub it against your 'personal areas'. That's always been the dream anyways, hasn't it?

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Waterproofing is pretty cool though

The fingerprint thing on the iP5s may have been cracked already, and nippleprints is a bit of fun, but the waterproofing powerdown is rather innovative, truth be told.

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Re: Waterproofing is pretty cool though

You left out the joke alert icon ;)

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Re: Waterproofing is pretty cool though

What odds that Apple will shortly register a patent on water-detection powerdown?

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JDX
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Re: Waterproofing is pretty cool though

I was thinking the same... add a feature that was a joke and get all the media coverage.

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Re: Joke alert icon

I figure the readership here are capable of telling if I'm joking about the nipple scan.

The waterproofing is still damn cool, though.

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@ Cliff - Re: Joke alert icon

. . . The waterproofing is still damn cool, though.

Not half as cool as the way of unlocking any iPhone with the thermodescram method: It unlocks not only the fingerprint scanner, but also older iPhones that need a passcode, bypassing the security features by simulating the manufacturing conditions during the final checks.

It takes quite careful timing not to lock it into factory test mode, though, so you must be quick.

You put about a pound of sand onto a double sheet of aluminium foil and heat that up in a conventional oven (not a microwave!) to 235°C (450°F, Gas mark 5). You can fold the foil over to keep the sand in better, 15 minutes should do the trick if the oven was preheated.

When it's ready, prepare a good, watertight (iPhones are, of course, not really waterproof!) plastic bag by putting 4 cups of freshly crushed ice and 1 cup of salt into it and mix that thoroughly.

Now comes the tricky bit. put the locked iPhone onto a chopping board and then the aluminium foil pack on top of it. Careful, quite warm, use oven gloves. This simulates the soldering bath to the chip and switches off the security features for testing; leave it on there for about 2 minutes. The Apple CPUs expect a factory test now, if the temperature drops slowly. This is where your ice bag comes in. That cools it down before the lock can kick in again. So, aluminium-and-sand bag off, plastic bag on (a few dew drops aren't dangerous), a bit of pressure, and after a minute or so every iPhone lock will be disabled.

I think I've heard it works on Samsung Galaxys as well.

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Re: Waterproofing is pretty cool though

4chan would just claim prior art.

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This post has been deleted by its author

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Re: @ Cliff - Joke alert icon

Inventive, but not buying this either.

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Re: Waterproofing is pretty cool though

"the waterproofing powerdown is rather innovative, truth be told"

Not so. When my now 80+ year old Dad was an apprentice at [large UK electrical research plant] there was a popular and expensive (in them days) practical "joke" in which people were called on their GPO phones and told by a "GPO Representative" that due to an earthing fault they needed to immerse their handsets in a bucket of water.

I was reminded of this only last week when I got a call from an Indian gentleman identifying himself as "Windows" who told me that every time I signed onto "The Internet" I was "causing viruses".

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Happy

@ Stevie - Re: @ Cliff - Joke alert icon

Awww, come on. Try it out, what could possibly go wrong? It's not as if you're going to drop it into a bucket of water . . .

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This takes security to a whole new level

Coming to a iPhone near you - Scrotum Lock(TM)

The only security feature guaranteed to ensure that no one will ever want to steal your phone again

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Paris Hilton

Re: This takes security to a whole new level

What about Paris? She'll need a male PA on call 24/365 to be able to unlock and make/take calls on her phone.

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Re: This takes security to a whole new level

Yes please,

Then I can claim prior art and troll the patent troll.

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2013/06/10/forgotten_your_password_just_get_gurning_says_google/#c_1854329

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Resael Value

Well that just killed the resale value. There is no chance I would want to buy a phone that someone else has rubbed against $icky_body_part.

And no Mr InternetWit, yours IS icky and I still have no intention of buying your old phone.

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This post has been deleted by its author

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Happy

Re: Resael Value

Are you old enough to remember pay phones? In the days before anyone even thought of carrying antibacterial gel around? Oh god, I hated using pay phones and there was no other option.

The handicap accessible ones and those made for use while inside a car with the really long cables were the worst. Even a pre-Internet knowledge of Human depravity sent the mind to horrible, horrible places. At least with modern technology you can sterilize a mobile phone. Carrying around a phone booth size UV chamber really wasn't an option.

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Nipples are "like snowflakes",

Beautifully defined when they're cold, but ...... - I've lost my poetic inspiration now....

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Re: Nipples are "like snowflakes",

No good on toast?

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Re: Nipples are "like snowflakes",

.... Difficult to play with for any length of time

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Devil

Re: Nipples are "like snowflakes",

"Nipple Salads!!!"

Krieg

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Unhappy

Re: Nipples are "like snowflakes",

... I get to see 'em once a year, if I'm lucky.

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JDX
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Re: Nipples are "like snowflakes",

Fun when you first see them, but boring once you've been staring at them for a week and you need to go outside?

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Re: Nipples are "like snowflakes",

"Nipples are 'like snowflakes'"

You're doing it wrong.

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Nice click bait...

I bet if you has of mentioned it was dudes you would not have got half as many views as you have now... tut

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Looks like

Casual Friday has gone too far again.

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Personally

I just love unlocking my new iPhone with my nipple!

Sorry, just had to get it off my chest.

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Credibility?

" whose credibility is not exactly swelled by the fact he has just 72 followers"

Since when does manytwitterfollowers == credibility??

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No surprises here

Neither the fact that people try things other than fingers, or the fact that these appendages work, surprises me. Some of them would yield better results than others I suspect. The end of one's nose, or nipple is usually quite smooth compared to one's fingertip or toe, and thus would likely produce more false positives.

Still, the fact one can use their toes might prove, em, handy, should someone find themselves without fingers one day. That said, the phone's usability might stop there … that screen looks a bit fiddly to use with ones toes, let alone how one holds a phone to their ear with their foot.

That'd take a lifetime of practice I should imagine.

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Coat

Re: No surprises here

[...] that screen looks a bit fiddly to use with ones toes, let alone how one holds a phone to their ear with their foot.

"You're holding it wrong."

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Its a nice idea....

But i cant risk my nippleprints getting in the hands of the NSA

My nipples have been party to many many crimes, crimes of passion :D

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Trollface

lock/unlock?

As penises and nipples both undergo dimensional and morphological changes when suitably stimulated, this raises the question of whether or not Apple's software can determine the same body part independent of said body part's engorgement or surface moisture level. If not, then choosing the excitement level for unlocking becomes very important for fanboi (and girl) wankers.

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LOL

Regarding people dunking their phones under water because of a fake ad claiming software update somehow adds hardware features....

Some^H^H^H^H Apple fanbois are dumb.

Here's my favorite quote from the rocketnews24 article:

"As we know, nipples are like snowflakes in their individuality but is the iPhone good enough to distinguish one teat from the next? Our reporter Hatori GO registered his nipple and then asked a co-worker to try and unlock it.

After getting released from central booking, he decided to ask a male co-worker to try unlocking the iPhone with his nipple instead. Sure enough, foreign areolas could not bypass the iPhone’s solid security system."

LOL.

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Slow news day?

See ti- thing at the top.

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Seems to me that unlocking with your nipple should be adopted as breast practice

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If you've programmed it to recognise a nipple..

Then it'll unlock using a nipple.

To trick it would be to unlock using anyone else's nipple afterwards.

But the new biometric reader doesn't disable the PIN function, so if you're really worried you can still lock your phone the old way

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