"The way I see it is that a bank has a duty to put in place sufficient security for it to keep our money safe. That's safe from (traditional) theft, safe from internet theft and safe from themselves being unable to give it back to us when we ask for it."
They do, and in the US it is by law (for credit cards and bank accounts US law requires protection -- but NOT debit cards! However most banks cover debit as well.) BUT, I do feel for banks that are expect to cover transactions where you never update your decrepit copy of Windows, take no precautions, but for some reason keep your credit card info there anyway, and it gets taken. That is really on you, and not at all on the bank, although banks generally will reverse charges and give you the money back anyway.
Re: "Unusual Transactions". My mom's had the same problems... both the bank, the cell phone company, and DirecTV, they of course say to NEVER give account info to anyone unless you can verify their identity, for instance on incoming calls. She's gotten incoming calls from them a ll: "To verify your identity please blah-de-blah", and they are just SHOCKED when she says "your own security rules disallow me to do that, I will call in, thanks". She calls in and Yeah, it was the bank or cell co, requesting she violate their own security rules -- and it was not a security test (i.e. chew her out for breaking the rules if she gives up the info), it would just be for whatever.
Re:"I mean absolutely everyone has heard of the porn filter thing, but does anyone even know what Anti-virus is? Noooooo. Why the HELL isn't it built in to all these devices?" etc....
Get away from Windows and you will find you don't run into these rampant virus problems. And you will not get infected by just clicking a link. For that matter, Windows XP, Vista, and 7 all have Security Essentials FOR FREE, just like you want. (XP didn't ship with it, but it installs via windows update... as far as I know Vista and 7 include it.)