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back to article Ellison ditches own cloud keynote for billionaires' America's Cup boat race

Oracle OpenWorld turned into Oracle SnubWorld on Tuesday, when Larry Ellison ditched his hotly anticipated speech on Oracle's cloud strategy so that he could watch his boat race in the hugely expensive America's Cup. The swap-out of Larry Ellison for senior product management veep Thomas Kurian was met first with muffled …

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Meh. Keynotes suck anyway. Unless you're doing near real-time journalism and/or an analyst (or hero worshiper) nothing gets said that won't wait a day. Besides you can get better seats at the preferred watering hole if you establish your beachhead during the speech.

Ellison probably would have been extra dicky anyway, if he had to miss his boat race. His speeches are nearly unbearable on a good day.

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FAIL

Oracle and another mass exodus? There's a pattern here

This asshole tried to sue Google and lost.

The inevitable result: Is anyone even aware it's JavaOne this week? Last time I caught their podcast (2012), even the Java Posse were openly saying they were considering skipping it now. More fail evidence? The JavaOne app is for ... Android and iPhone.

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Keynotes suck anyway

That may explain the success of the strippers club then ^^

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Pint

Larry, still teaching.

15 Ways to Tell Its Not Cloud Computing

http://redmonk.com/jgovernor/2008/03/13/15-ways-to-tell-its-not-cloud-computing/

+

If you know where the CEO is... it's not a cloud.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Larry, still teaching.

He prefers to be called "Lairy".

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Pint

BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

The Oracle America's Cup boat was sabotaged. Somebody with no ethics and a weak moral code sneakily attached a huge 'Ask Toolbar' to the underbelly of the boat; it skewed the steering and impacted performance.

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Pint

Re: BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

More details on this incident are still coming in...

The unwanted 'Ask Toolbar' was attached to the Oracle boat with a long thin rope. The rope was long enough that the impact of the Ask Toolbar was delayed for ten minutes. This unethical trick made detection of the giant 'Ask Toolbar' by the Oracle boat crew much more difficult. They were well into the race before they noticed something wrong.

The Oracle boat was dragged off course by the hidden underwater giant 'Ask Toolbar' attached to the underside of the boat. The boat crashed off course and got tangled up in some advertising banners lining the course.

It's mayhem.

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Pint

Re: BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

OMG. The chaos continues!

With the crew's view blocked by the tangled mess of advertising banners, they become utterly lost... ...in the cloud.

Oh the Humanity!

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Re: BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

My theory is that Larry has a small nuclear powered submarine with a big magnetic running under the bay just ahead of the Oracle Team USA boat!

When your losing try harder. If you are still losing cheat.

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Bronze badge

Re: BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

The boats are made of Carbon fibre... Its more likely to just be a rope.

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FAIL

Re: BREAKING NEWS - This just in...

Big magnetic what? oh you mean magnet.

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Is Larry losing interest ... again? He missed the last quarter earnings analyst conference call as well. Last time he lost interest, Ray Lane took control. Maybe this time it's Hurd's turn. I'm sure there's irony there, but i can't see what it is.

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Silver badge

>was met first with muffled complaints by the packed keynote crowd, quickly followed by a mass exodus as attendees streamed out of the keynote theatre.

Classic. I wonder if Oracle will be sending out emails tomorrow reminding their workforce they can view the keynote online. Someone might want to stop that automated email lol.

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>>

Classic. I wonder if Oracle will be sending out emails tomorrow reminding their workforce they can view the keynote online. Someone might want to stop that automated email lol.

>>

Quick before there is a flood of REPLY-to-ALL

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Anonymous Coward

this should give everyone a pretty clear idea ...

... about how much Ellison really cares about this Cloud Thing.

Just sayin'.

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JDX
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Re: this should give everyone a pretty clear idea ...

If I owned an A.C. super-boat I'd damn well be watching it rather than attending a conference too. Those things are incredible.

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Pint

Keynote is What?

My opinion only, but every keynote speech I've ever heard was nothing more than advertisement, that the audience paid to hear, and got to be part of the recorded audience for other dickheads to watch saying "I know that dickhead." Oh the light show and music are great, aided by the open bar on the way in and the cheerleaders leading up to...the keynote.

If you're lucky during smoko a near-god will accidentally find him/herself near you to spout some story about how this company is destined for greatness, or more greatness, or continual greatness, depending on how long the company has basked in the greatness of greatness. And when will you decide to buy?

They're great parties, huh? As long as you can hold your chunder they are. Seen one, seen 'em all. How can I quickly get away from this one before I hurl and still claim my expenses?

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Coat

Its like ...

... attending a Gallagher act and not getting splattered by watermellon guts.

Mine's the one with the seeds stuck to it.

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Anonymous Coward

They didn't miss much

In the future don't even bother wasting people's time by scheduling this clown.

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Poor form, Larry

Your company is stagnating because of competition from SaaS vendors, and you bail out to watch the America's Cup? Don't you think that appearing in front of your most important customers and prospects to assure them of Oracle's cloud strategy is more important than watching a boat race--even if you forked over tens of millions on the boat?

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JDX
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Re: Poor form, Larry

Important to who?

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Paris Hilton

Photo of the errant keynote speaker here..

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/picturegalleries/10332537/Americas-Cup-2013-Oracle-Team-USA-level-with-Emirates-Team-New-Zealand.html?frame=2682121

No, don't think it's Paris that is next to him

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Silver badge

Re: Photo of the errant keynote speaker here..

Is that the Oracle or the Team Amurrica boat? I can't tell.

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Mushroom

Re: Photo of the errant keynote speaker here..

The caption on that pic should read something abrasive including words like "Heil" and "Me".

Dumbass.

I hope the walkouts from the "keynote" show their appreciation of his "I could not care less" attitude with a "I will not pay for your shit" purchasing decision.

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Megaphone

All play and no work makes Larry a... very rich man?

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Pint

I supported Oracle

until force fed MS SQL and now I don't give a flying crap ... it's just a DB and given the necessary amount of RAM to fit a selection of tables I don't see the difference.

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Facepalm

Oh, LARRY!!!

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choose between talking or watching a boatrace..

no really, if i was him (or at least have his bankaccount) i wouldn't give it a second thought either.

I'd choose boats, chicks, and fresh sea air over a packed and smelly theater room any day of the week, wouldn't you?

the boats go (and will be replaced by, say, formula one cars), but the customers will keep paying regardless :P

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To be honest today's race made more for worldwide brand recognition than any OOW would ever do. And what a race it was.

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Good point

When I want to pick a database vendor the one with the fastest boat is always first on my list.

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"....when you're as well-off as King Larry,.....

..you don't need to care much about" your customers and what a PAIN it is to support Oracle

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Anonymous Coward

Was Larry on the boat?

Or was it Harry?

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If I had just paid a bezilllllion dollars....

... and my boat had come back from 8-1 down to 8 all, I wouldn't hang around a conference either.

This is sporting history being made and it could be another Headingley 1981.

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Re: If I had just paid a bezilllllion dollars....

Why, what happened in Headingly in 1981?

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Re: If I had just paid a bezilllllion dollars....

allegation to win in a game so bizarre and boring that only Indian in Britons can enjoy I suppose.

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being a racing yachtsman myself I may have a bias, but I know what id rather do...

Keynote speech or watch my million $ yacht win the final race of the Americas cup and clinch the overall title after coming back from a 7-1 defeat...

or putting things another way.... room full of sweaty nerds or champagne and tier 1 chicks....

Id take the racing any day!

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Go

bring it back

best of luck for the final race Emirates Team New Zealand

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Bronze badge

"room full of sweaty nerds or champagne and tier 1 chicks...."

As an ex-deck gorillia from my yoof - I'm with you. Sorta made you want to win, a bit more

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BJS
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yet another keynote? or sailboats topping 40 knots on hydrofoils?

I hope that mass exodus was to Americas Cup Park to watch the race.

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Anonymous Coward

If the guy cannot even work a Digital Video Recorder, then why should I let him run my cloud?

Whatever he spent on building that boat, he just lost twenty times that in customer revenue.

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See, who says an organisation's customer service and support departments don't take their lead from the top !! At least O'Bleary had the deceny Ryanair's s**t customer service stems from his very own attitude !!

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On the upside though, his boat won!

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