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back to article IT bloke denies trying to shag sheep outside football ground

An IT worker has appeared in court accused of trying to have sex with a sheep outside football club Tottenham Hotspur's training ground in North London. Paul Lovell, of Magpie Close, Enfield, North London, faces a charge of indecent exposure under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 as well as a further charge of outraging public …

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Coat

"Reports did not divulge how Lovell was caught."

With his pants down, presumably.

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Caught on CCTV

It was on Ewetube.

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Re: Caught on CCTV

Ewe online, I reckon.

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Re: Caught on CCTV Bhaaadddd bad bhhhaaadddd badd

Ewwwe, how .... Baaaad

Perhaps, end-descent exxsposure while attempting to spin a white web inside the white webb sheep caught a tension of with/due to a lot of

Bhaaadddd

bad

bhhhaaadddd

badd

Bhaaadddd

bad

bhhhaaadddd

badd

Baaddd to da bohn.....

talk about "ten ding sheep...

Old buggerer....

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FSM

Re: Caught on CCTV

EwePorn?

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Pauls obviously got a lot of lovell to give :D

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and given the choice of spurs fans and sheep he made the logical choice!

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Was it a wool jumper?

"who attended court wearing a brown suit and turquoise jumper"

It always makes me wonder why people attending court are described by the clothes they wear

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Was it a wool jumper?

"who attended court wearing a brown suit and turquoise jumper, was also charged with outraging public decency "

Too right. Brown suit and turquoise jumper, eeew.

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Re: Was it a wool jumper?

It's the brown suit that's offensive - anyone wearing one is definitely guilty of something ;-)

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Re: Was it a wool jumper?

The jumper and suit combo deserves a second count of outraging public decency.

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Re: Was it a wool jumper?

"Too right. Brown suit and turquoise jumper, ewe"

Fixed that for you.

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MJI
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Re: Was it a wool jumper?

And wellies

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Re: Was it a wool jumper?

"brown suit and turquoise jumper,"

Damn, I was going to point this out, but............

Outraging public decency indeed.

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Re: Was it a wool jumper?

"Too right. Brown suit and turquoise jumper, ewe"

Fixed that for ewe.

Fixed that for ewe....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Was it a wool jumper? - "And wellies"

Nah mate, their for the other end. (heavy Antipodean accent)

AC because of the Sheep Station Mafia

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Re: Was it a wool jumper?

Ewe... End deed

maybe he wanted to "service" it and create something ab-bomb-end-nimal.

Maybe he thought it safer to try something sheep-shape rather than stick his testy tube into a bird's beakerv

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Re: Was it a wool jumper?

Anyone wearing a suit is suspect. Ever seen a honest lad in a suit ? no .. Politicians wear suits , bankers , lawyers , see a pattern here ? :)

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Windows

Football fan?

Sure it's a sheep?

Derby County supporter?

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Re: Football fan?

Most probably an Aberdeen supporter.

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Joke

Can you make a U turn

No but I can make it's eyes water.

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Boffin

Shiver me timbers

>Whitewebbs Lane, north London, with Spurs' training facility in the foreground.

AAaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgrhhrghgfrhgrghghrhgggggggggggggrhgr.... cheap rum and loose women 'ave rotted yer brain me young lubber. A plan has no foreground.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Avast there!

... May many cobblers be laid upon yer forehead for correcting mine magical plan, that be nay such thing. Here be no admission that ye have an point, ye scurvy cur!

(ye have an point)

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Pirate

Re: Shiver me timbers

Aye, me hearty, and ye may lay to that! Unless they play suspended in mid air? Several hundred feet up, from the look of it?

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Ohmigod...

'Ewe a Spurs fan, me hearty?'

I've only just realised - it must be national pirate day. Again, already? Oh, God.....

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Pirate

Re: Ohmigod...

Yes, it is:

http://talklikeapirate.com/

Martin

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IT Angle

IT gets lonely.

How much ram did he have?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: IT gets lonely.

Altogether too much by the sound of things.

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Re: IT gets lonely.

He probably had a lack of ram due to being kicked by a rack of lamb....

Reminds me of high school in Texas, maybe 7th or 8th grade:

How does a cowboy f*3k a sheep?

Oh, I don't know. How?

Put the left leg in the left boot, right leg in the right boot, raise the sheep's front legs skyward, and walk to the edge of a cliff. The sheep will keep backing up trying to live.

Some would respond with "Ewe", only to be met with, "Rightttt..."

I wondered where some of these kids learned things....

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Boffin

IT bloke

Sure, all very amusing and such (not sure the sheep was amused though). But why is it important information that Paul's an IT guy? Is it 'cause many of us are sexually a bit eccentric?

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Re: IT bloke

it's just another of those ewephemisms.

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IT Angle

Re: IT bloke

Just getting the IT angle in there somewhere I would guess.

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Joke icon

A IT guy asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him against a charge of bestiality.

"I know a great trial lawyer," the fellow said, "but he's expensive and doesn't know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer," he continued, "who' s not a great trial lawyer, but he's cheap and really knows how to pick a jury."

The IT guy settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second thoughts when the key witness began his testimony. "I saw that man mount his sheep from behind," he said, "and when he was finished, I saw the sheep turn around and lick his pecker."

The accused IT guy was devastated and had all but given up hope of acquittal, when a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow next to him, "You know, a good sheep will do that."

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I don't think this is a suitable topic for the Register. However, my dad told me that when he was a village kid in Yorkshire, a farmworker was brought before the magistrate for having carnal knowledge of a sow; he was fined £5. After that the village kids used to follow him around making grunting noises.

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Anonymous Coward

I don't think this is a suitable topic for the Register.

Still replied to it. (It's OK, I'm a complete hypocrite myself).

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Anonymous Coward

"...a farmworker was brought before the magistrate for having carnal knowledge of a sow; he was fined £5."

Ahhh... happy times. It's ten grand, public vilification in perpetuity and a couple of years of sodomy these days.

Not suggesting there's anything wrong with a couple of years of sodomy of course...

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How do you go about encouraging a sheep to perform a sexual act on you? Dinner, drinks and a movie?

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Quality, freshly mown grass and promise of a cuddle afterwards.

Er, I'm told.

*cough*

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Just how...

Do you encourage a sheep to perform a sexual act on a human?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Just how...

Peanut butter works quite well.

So I hear...

AC for no particular reason.

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Re: Just how...

Ewe whisper sheep nothings in its ear.

Failing that it's not so much encourage as threaten, you take out a jar of mint sauce and when she opens her mouth in horror, well you can guess the rest.

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Coat

Re: Just how...

Well, 'welsh speed daters' seem to know

http://tinyurl.com/q52h4ke

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Coat

No wonder they baaed him from returning to the area

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Joke

"attended court wearing a brown suit and turquoise jumper ... outraging public decency"

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"trying to encourage a sheep to perform a sexual act on you"

How would you...? I don't even...

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I suspect he works for Wellington IT Solutions. (If there is such an entity I apologize, I thought I made it up)

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Coat

Keep your Magpie Close ...

but your sheep closer.

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Anonymous Coward

Do you know which IT firm Lovell works for? Email me and spill the beans. ®

You dont think thats going a bit far?? Have a chuckle sure, but why the cyber bully angle??

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Do you know which IT firm Lovell works for? Email me and spill the beans. ®

If he works for one of the big firms then that makes it slightly newsworthier to Reg readers. What are you more likely to read: "bloke accused of shagging sheep" or "BIG IT VENDOR bloke accused of shagging sheep" - subtext of the last part being, "did I ever work with this guy?"

Of course, he's innocent until proven guilty and as he's opted for a jury trial at Crown court I wish him the best of luck in arguing his case. The evidential threshold needed to charge someone with a criminal offence is less than that needed to convict, remember.

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Re: Do you know which IT firm Lovell works for? Email me and spill the beans. ®

It might be Ewelet Packard

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