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back to article Intel shows off wine-powered processor and biometric boffinry

Day three of the Intel Developer Forum is usually when the firm shows off its future projects and Chipzilla's in-house anthropologist Dr Genevieve Bell took to the keynote stage to demonstrate a processor powered by wine and mobile phones that use your gait or voice as a password. Bell, who thanks to her Australian outback …

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Pint

Just what we need, technology that means we'll have to inspect our own drink for NSA surveillance devices. I say starve the little buggers, bottoms up lads!

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"unlocks the phone when it recognizes the sound of its owner from voiceprints read"

My voice is my passport, verify me ?

What could possible go wrong, do you think ?

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Bronze badge

Re: "unlocks the phone when it recognizes the sound of its owner from voiceprints read"

From my stint in the Army, the problem would be, "My voice is my ..." BLAAAARGH!!! "Oh, hey, does this run on piss?" "I was on the shitter and I don't know where my phone went!"

And did anybody notice that the wine bottle was down more than one glass worth?

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Re: "unlocks the phone when it recognizes the sound of its owner from voiceprints read"

What could possible go wrong, do you think ?

Well I suppose there's the off chance that you might transform into a fly and the voice recognition software wouldn't recognise you. You know, like in that thing ... "Metamorphosis".

(OK, I deliberately got the film name wrong)

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Happy

Re: "unlocks the phone when it recognizes the sound of its owner from voiceprints read"

"And did anybody notice that the wine bottle was down more than one glass worth?"

Elementary..

Open wine bottle + journos --> empty wine bottle.

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Anonymous Coward

Is it a magical potato?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn1Kdvl71NI

Big Bang Theory

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Anonymous Coward

Gait might be ok - until you twist/break your leg - or trapped in some place where you can't move very far.

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That's why locked phones can still make 911 (emergency) calls.

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Why couldn't they have just used a potato like normal people?

How am I supposed to make GLaDOS jokes when they use wine instead?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Why couldn't they have just used a potato like normal people?

Haven't kids been doing this with arm chips for years?

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If the device works...

the wine is undrinkable. I prefer drinking ethanol to vinegar.

How about connecting the accelerometer to a speaker, so that your drink can warn you not to drink it?

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Re: If the device works...

"If the device works... the wine is undrinkable"

Well, of course ... you don't think an Australian would be so uncivilised as to use the Grange Hermitage for this sort of thing, now do you? It's probably some cheap French plonk (aka battery acid).

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Anonymous Coward

Re: If the device works...

The whole publicity splaff was so full of fail it contained little else! Perhaps they were trying to channel tartaric or, possibly malic, or even, as it's red wine they used, tannic ... but no, certainly not ethanoic which would have you spitting "vinegar!" if the conc. ws >~0.2%

But... it ain't the acid anyway... this whole fruit/veg/booze myth has irked me since school days and "potato powered clocks. It's not the bloody spud powering your clock, you moron, it's the corrosion of your electrodes. The electrodes are the bloody fuel and the "free" power you're wowed by was invested in their smelting. Once you've corroded them away you have to refuel with a fresh set. Shir it's an electrochemical redox thing and you need the spud too but saying "wine/spud powered clock/chip" is as stoopid as claiming to drive an air powered car. Doesn't anyone know how a simple cell/battery works... potential generated by the difference in electrochemical potential of two different metals and current generated as a result of the change of oxidation states of those metals across an electrolyte when a circuit is made? FFS kids pay attention at the back!

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Coat

I wonder

if the gait analysis will still work after sufficient wine has been consumed?

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It'll never catch on

"Intel have developed a low-powered processor and accelerometer that was powered by a glass of wine." I said to the missus.

"What a waste of wine" she said.

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Unhappy

False negatives will p**s people off a treat.

Locked out of your own phone.

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I've had a wine powered processor for years... its called SWMBO....

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