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back to article South Carolina couple cop cuffing for shed shag

An amorous South Carolina couple copped a cuffing last Wednesday while allegedly making the beast with two backs inside a Home Depot display shed. According to the Smoking Gun, cops were called to the DIY chain's North Charleston branch shortly after 8.30am "in reference to a male and female entering a display shed on the …

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Coat

Were they auditioning for the film version of Fifty Sheds of Grey?

Mine's the one covered in sawdust.

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IT Angle

But the door was closed? Or was it a little noisy?

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FAIL

FFS, Larse

The 'reply' button is there to let you reply to someone's post. The clue is in the name. A reply is generally relevant to what the OP wrote., i.e. "say something in response to something someone has said." The 'reply' button is not there to get your comment at the top of the page by replying to the top post. Your constant use of this self-soaring technique is starting to irk. For the love of God, please desist.

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Devil

Not exactly flashing

'Bowden will face similarly face a disorderly conduct charge, as well as an "indecent exposure ... for having his genitals on public view" rap.'

His genitals were hardly on public view, were they. He was inside a damn shed.

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Re: Not exactly flashing

Indeed. I'd claim 'reasonable expectaton of privacy'. The cops had to make a deliberate effort to find them so it's their own fault for seeing what they saw.

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Joke

Re: Not exactly flashing

The cops had to make a deliberate effort to find them

Yet another example of Police invasion of privacy :)

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Happy

Re: Not exactly flashing

Obviously hadn't got very far, otherwise he would have had two 'layers' of cover for the old chap. The shed and the 'classy' woman he was with!!

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Re: Not exactly flashing

@Frank ly

Indeed yes. I remember a couple of years ago a Bahraini (?) couple got arrested for having sex in their car ... but they were acquitted because the car had tinted windows, therefore they weren't in public.

Though, it is a bit ironic when US law trumps islamic law for prudery.

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Re: Not exactly flashing @Ketlan

>He was inside a damn shed.

Please, a bit more reverance, this a shed we are talking about.

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Re: Not exactly flashing

Maybe it was a glass fronted summer house :)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Not exactly flashing

"He was inside a damn shed."

Technically he was inside Emily inside a shed. Hardly more exposed than she would have been, surely?

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Re: Not exactly flashing

Bowden will face similarly face a disorderly conduct charge, as well as an "indecent exposure ... for having his genitals on public view" rap.

They were hardly public while he was in a shed. And for all we know, they weer considering buying it, and just taking it for a test run.

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Re: Not exactly flashing

@frank ly: "Indeed. I'd claim 'reasonable expectaton of privacy'."

There is no reasonable expectation of privacy in a public place - they were in a shed on display at a retailer for crying out loud! In a shed on their property - fine, but not one in a public place.

That said, the rap is a bit much from my perspective - had someone opened the door to the shed and seen them going at it, *then* called the cops, it would be different. As it was, no member of the public saw his "indecent exposure".

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Not exactly flashing

"Technically he was inside Emily inside a shed."

Only partially, I assume, unless she was very spacious.

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Paris Hilton

Re: Not exactly flashing

"Technically he was inside Emily inside a shed"

If memory serves correctly, a half wave rectified sinusoidal wave of about 1.2Hz (frequency increasing slightly over time) would describe a typical shed-based technique. Assuming the ground reference (i.e. Emily) was fixed rather than floating, he'd only be inside her half the time.

Paris, cos she must have...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Not exactly flashing

His genitals were hardly on public view, were they. He was inside a damn shed.

That doesn't stop US police. Lived in "silicon valley" for a few years in the 90s and remember reading a local newspaper article of someone who needed a pee so tried to do so discretely against a wall of a building ... two police officers spotted him and ordered him to turn around - needless to say he did (if you don't then police have a tendency to shoot) and as one of the offices was female he got done for exposing himself to a woman and was put on sex offenders register

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IT Angle

Re: Not exactly flashing

... and presumably up until the point where the shed was opened, his genitals were not on view because they were inside his co-conspirator

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Headmaster

Re: Not exactly flashing

...and if other non-policemen did this, they could be done for being peeping toms or voyeurism (in the UK at least)

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Headmaster

Re: Not exactly flashing

3 layers if he was having safe sex, surely!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Not exactly flashing

I've seen lots of stories about people being required to register as sex offenders for just such stupid situations. Please make them earn it. Nudity is not a sexual offense.

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Paris Hilton

Re: Not exactly flashing

Inside a shed... errrmmm or inside ... errr ... yes

Paris? well because..

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Missing a trick...

The shop should charge hotel room rates (by the hour, of course...).

On a separate point, I bet it wasn't one of the cheaper sheds, otherwise they would have been lucky if the damn thing hadn't collapsed around them (in which case the guy's one-eyed bishop would've been truly exposed).

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A saucy tale

But I'm having difficulty seeing what this has to do with IT, Reg!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: A saucy tale- having difficulty seeing what this has to do with IT

Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto.

Even IT people are human...

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Holmes

Which is why

it's in Bootnotes.

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Re: A saucy tale

You are right, it's shocking. The title was completely misleading. It seemed to imply something about networks or VPN, and then all of a sudden, we click on the link and see this. In the middle of a working day. At work. Arrest the REG for misleading and indecent articulation! (is that the correct wording? I need to check with my superior officers)

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FAIL

Re: A saucy tale

You're right, let's go the whole hog and turn Reg into the Daily Mail.

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Re: A saucy tale

OK: Shed shagging Chauvanist shafts shameless sheila!

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Re: A saucy tale (@ Anomalous Cowshed)

Dear Mr. Cowshed:

The same thing happens often to me. Every time I read titles like the article heading -E.G. "Hot L*ian Action", "F*kotronic Man" and "The Bald Chair Th*ing Gorilla"- I think they're written in Networking lingo and/or making reference to big IT companies. And it's not only in the Internets! Video rentals also use this nasty trick! It's really shameful !

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Anonymous Coward

Re: A saucy tale

But it does, if you assume VPN = Visible Penis and Nuts...

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I suspect that the shed was...

...one of the plastic "Rubbermaid" series - perhaps Model # 1862548 'Big Max Ultra'.

Just because...

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Happy

Re: I suspect that the shed was...

AM I the only one that finds the "Rubbermaid" brand slightly unsettling?

And not a little arousing?

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According to my records...

According to my research, we began with:

A couple cuffed for shagging in a park in front of 22 coppers. They were aesthetically challenged too. They were charged with indecent public exposure.

Now we have a couple cuffed for doing the beast with two backs in a shed in a DIY store. They have been charged with indecent public exposure.

If the trend continues, may we see:

1. Couple cuffed for doing the beast with two backs in a ROOM at a MOTEL. Forgot to lock room and were apprehended by maid who entered the room by accident. Charged with indecent public exposure and deliberately causing mental anguish to the maid, who fainted and had to be treated at the scene by the coppers.

1b Couple cuffed in same situation as above, but behind locked door. Maid passing by overhears "suspicious activity", reports it to the manager who immediately calls the police. Suspecting terrorism, police break down the door. The couple are charged with indecent public exposure, criminal damage and wasting police time.

2. Couple cuffed for doing the beast with two backs in their apartment. Forget to close the window and are overheard by a passer-by in the street. Fearing that a serious crime against the state is under way, the passer-by calls the cops who in turn call the National Guard for help and lay siege to the apartment. To keep a long story short, the couple are charged with indecent public exposure, criminal damage, demolition without a permit, wasting public funds, causing psychological trauma to the passer-by and injury to a police officer (who shoots himself in the foot by accident during the siege, but it's still their fault he was there in the first place).

3. Couple cuffed in the street outside M&S or Wallmart or whatever for being in possession of underwear with intent to commit an act of gross indecency.

4. Couple cuffed, just because copper <insert name> feared they might eventually commit an act of public or private indecency.

5. All couples are to be cuffed pre-emptively to avoid indecent behaviour, by order of the Police Commissioner.

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(Written by Reg staff) Bronze badge

Re: According to my records...

That's absolutely uncanny. You appear to have laid your hands on our Friday Bootnotes list for the next four weeks.

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Re: According to my records...

Re: 1b

Already happened.

Man does Bicycle in Hotel room

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Re: According to my records...

Sorry about that, it happen again!

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Re: According to my records...

Ooops, I meant to write: It WON'T happen again!

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Coat

Re: According to my records...

Any truth in the Rumour you are renaming it 'Booty call Notes'?

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Re: According to my records...

"Already happened.

Man does Bicycle in Hotel room "

Yebbut - that was just a harmless crank.

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Re: Re: According to my records...

I do hope you're not going to saddle us with any more terrible puns.

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Re: According to my records...

> I do hope you're not going to saddle us with any more terrible puns.

Says El Reg's spokes person.

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Re: According to my records...

6. US Population starts to decline.

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It was about time!!!

... The girl looks quite okay ...for an american that is...

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For an American...

I guess that she doesn't have that overbread look of those royals that are soooo popular...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: For an American...

Maybe she's been eating cake instead?

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Re: For an American...

I prefer my royals over rice.

I'm not a huge fan of bread and monarchy.

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Re: For an American... (@ Thecowking)

I was going to downvote you, for being a bread-hater. But what the Hell! Here's an upvote! :^)

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Re: For an American... (@ Thecowking)

I don't hate bread, just bread with royals.

Bread's best with the proletariat and a nice chablis.

Of course for middle classes you have to change that to couscous and a pinot grigio.

(The correct wine for royalty is buckfast.)

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There was an ad for sheds on the article page. I looked through the window to see if any topless women were in there, but all I saw was a naked hobo.

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Ah! Risky Sex!

Trouble is, when seeking the thrill of being caught; there's always the possibility of being caught.

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