back to article Boffins' keyboard ELECTROCUTES Facebook addicts

Cunning MIT student boffins have come up with something marvellous: a keyboard that sends a jolt of electricity into those who spend too much time on Facebook. The Pavlov Poke is the brainchild of MIT PhD candidates Robert R. Morris and Daniel McDuff, who are trying to complete their dissertations but find obsessive Facebook is …

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Just let the fucking idiots waste their time on facebook.

It's another filter for those of us in reality.

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Anonymous Coward

Won't work with a touch screen will it?

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Anonymous Coward

In 500 years aliens will land on his planet and find that the demise and extinction of the human race was due to the contribution Facebook made to human life.

Where the addiction to Facebook took people away from their daily lives, where they sat infront of computers and screens for hours forgetting the very basics of eating, washing and working.

Food ran out, shops closed, until finally power stations stopped running and batteries ran out.

Those few left, who hadn't died of starvation or stress then succumbed to diseases and depression, without Facebook they just lay down sighed and died.

The aliens, not understanding Facebook conducted a study and in 50 earth years their civilisation died out.

Facebook was then considered a plague and any planet unlucky enough to fall under its charms was quarantined and destroyed.

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Facepalm

History Repeats Itself

And the first alien anthropologist blew off the dust and fired up one of the old machines and noticed it had a funny photo of a cat, which he sent to an alien archeologist who liked it and discovered he could change his status to "laughing at a cat picture". He also decided he liked the alien who'd sent him the picture sooo much he wanted to be his "friend", so clicked that button and decided to tell another alien about it rather than do any boring Earth archeology work...

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JDX
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Re: Just let the fucking idiots waste their time on facebook.

Computer nerd in "people who don't like what I like are idiots" shocker. Of course someone who spends their time blithering on about how other people are idiots, or compiling their OS, is a fully integrated normal member of society.

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Mushroom

Re: Just let the fucking idiots waste their time on facebook.

Or worse -

force them to watch flash videos on the El Reg "JW Player 6".

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Must ... say ....it .....

It doesn't electrocute them. It gives them a small electric shock.

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Must ... say ....it .....

Before anyone gets upset at the headline, I must say our house dictionary and style guide defines electrocute as injure or kill (my emphasis).

C.

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Happy

Re: Must ... say ....it .....

Let's talk about the meaning of the word 'injure'.

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Re: Must ... say ....it .....

"do injustice or wrong to (someone)" ? :-)

C.

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Headmaster

Re: Must ... say ....it .....

Clearly your house dictionary and/or style guide needs to be updated.

In this case, the shock is clearly intended to be of benefit to the keyboardist, so in any case no injury or death should be anticipated.

By the way, where can I buy one of these for my Wife and daughter?

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Re: Must ... say ....it .....

You realize, of course, that the BOFH would regard all this as wimpy.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Must ... say ....it .....

.. and for those of us not so disposed to our wives or ex-wives, where can I get one with a a vastly increased power level?

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Rather than going through all that analysis

wouldn't it be simpler just to look at the URL on the browser? If it's book face or twittle[1], ZAP!

(I detect the fine hand of the BOFH in there somewhere...)

[1] Other timewasting URLS are available.

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Coat

Re: Rather than going through all that analysis

<q>[1] Other timewasting URLS are available.</q>

Including El Reg of course.

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wouldn't it be simpler just to look at the URL on the browser?

Computers can these days run more than one program. The fact your browser is on FaceBook doesn't mean you are using FaceBook.

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Anonymous Coward

“Technologies like Facebook are addictive by design”

How does that explain those who do not use Fakebook at all?

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Anonymous Coward

well they're not using them, so don't get addicted. Just like those who don't smoke perhaps

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Anonymous Coward

I'm not addicted to heroin. Is heroin not addictive? Or is it because I've never tried heroin?

All elephants are gray, not everything gray is an elephant.

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JDX
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Possibly because we're talking about FaceBook, not FakeBook. Possibly, you're just a retard with no understanding of logic who gets enjoyment out of generalising other people and then insulting them, in the same way black people were once treated.

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Pint

All elephants are grey??

When did that happen? I was certain that they were all pink but my memory is a bit unreliable. You'll be telling me next that they don't all wear tutus and do ballerina dancing - just before the spiders start coming out of the walls.

PS a study actually shows that "using Facebook a lot lowers self esteem"???

Now that's what I call karma.

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FAIL

all elephants are grey, except the red ones

I once spent three days searching for elephants (in an area with lots of trees and bushes). I couldn't find them anywhere! The problem was that I was looking for large grey things. Eventually I found them, and they were red, which is why I'd missed them before. Turns out that elephants enjoy coating themselves in mud, and the mud there was red mud. Fail icon is for myself for being so bad at finding the world's largest terrestrial animal.

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Re: all elephants are grey, except the red ones

And the Pink ones!

Two of my uncles once saw pink elephants for the same reason - they were covered in pink mud!

Probably a protection against parasites, mites, etc.

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Anonymous Coward

Facebook Addictive ?

Not for those of us who loathe tobacco, find booze dulling and get bored quickly wasting time on unsocial sites attempting to find if there is intelligence in "cyberspace" (or cubespace if at work) ElReg excluded of course. Are some intelligences around there. What happened to self discipline ?

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Gimp

Other usage?

So I am guessing there is a version for fetlife that makes it more addictive?

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Other usage?

I don't know about you, but I normally use my hands to type...

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@LazyLazyman

Well played sir!

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as someone who does support

This is an essential tool.

automatically analyse emails to the support mailbox, assign a stupidity value, and set a threshold. if the stupidity is over the threshold, the idiot gets a shock.

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Padawan

These idiots are young..... but the Farce is strong within them!

How wet are people that are unable to use a little self discipline, I say Birching is too good for the blighters.

Too bad a shock facility is not built into all PCs and their derivatives including all the smart phones being used for texting, Farcing and game playing while people are walking or driving.

One of my (New) pet hates are people using their phones while attempting (or not) to steer a supermarket trolley.

I swear I am going to kill someone with a bottle of Ariel liquid before too long.

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Those

of average or above average intelligence will usually find that visiting Facebook is an excellent deterrent from using it.

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JDX
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Re: Those

Actually, those of above average intelligence actually realise that just because someone doesn't like the same things as you doesn't make them less intelligent.

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This would be a scathing post about self-discipline

But here I am wasting time on El Reg.

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Trollface

Re: This would be a scathing post about self-discipline

... but it's just not the same without Eadon to ridicule...

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They are going to make a fortune

I personally would buy twenty see if i can increase the power "slightly" and send it to anyone that sends me a farmvillie request or any sort of game request on farcebook.

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Re: They are going to make a fortune

Good idea, send me one please.

Until then I will just carry on using 'hide all posts from this ejit' button on anyone who causes such things to be posted on my wall.

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Insert generic comment

Insert generic comment about how clever/cool/counter culture I am for not using facebook...

Seriously, its just so predictable now. It's like seeing my grandad complain about computers or mobile phones.

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Ignores behaviourist research

Unfortunately for those involved in this, the work of Pavlov and the behaviourists on the conditioned response showed that punishment did not extinguish the desire to make the targetted response, it merely inhibited it; thus eventually producing mentally screwed up experimental subjects.

The most efficient way to extinguish a response is to stop reinforcing it. Therefore a more effective answer would be to ensure that any attempt to access the undesirable url resulted in a 404, for example: or perhaps redirect to a really boring site. I'm sure you can think of one.

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Re: Ignores behaviourist research

peredur: "... or perhaps redirect to a really boring site"

More boring than FB? Last I looked, PylonOfTheMonth was no longer being maintained.

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JDX
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Re: Ignores behaviourist research

The whole point of FB is the content is based on you and your friends. If you find FB content hugely boring that says more about you than it does about FB.

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Pylon of the month [Was: Re: Ignores behaviourist research]

Dear God in heaven. And I thought there was nothing sadder than a trainspotter -- at least trains move.

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Re: Ignores behaviourist research

How about this one?

http://www.1112.net/lastpage.html

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I, for one . . .

welcome our keyboard-shocking timewasting overlords.

Long Live The Shock ! May it forever jolt you into transcendance.

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There are easier ways...

Just carry a Taser.

Anyone mentions Facebook, you tase them.

Job done.

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JDX
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Re: There are easier ways...

Tasing yourself would be preferable.

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Unhappy

Blast

So because El Reg has Facebook buttons I can look forward to being shocked :(

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Re: Blast

Serves you right. If all of the stories elReg have hosted about the BoFh over the years haven't set off any alarm bells in your head by now, then surely the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

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Alien

Camera flash capacitors

Imagine hooking it up to a camera flash (old style with the large capacitors)

The longer you look the higher the charge :)

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