back to article In case of LOHAN flight emergency, gobble THIS Iridium-Arduino sandwich

We recently reported that we'd laid our grubby mitts on a second RockBLOCK Irdidium satellite comms unit - courtesy of Rock Seven. Top and bottom views of the RockBLOCK The RockBLOCK, pictured above, can "send and receive short messages from anywhere on Earth with a view of the sky", and it's this latter capability which …

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  1. Mtech25

    LetHerRip

    Lohan Equipped Tactical High-pressured Emergency RockBlock innovated protocol?

    Sorry i have only had one cup of coffee this moring

  2. M Gale

    Precision Accident Prevention System?

    Even better if you have a pair of them.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ALCOHOL

    Advanced Lift Cutting On Heavily Off Launch?

    Thats pretty awful one (and I'm sure someone will get something better) but I think LOHAN needs ALCOHOL to travel...

  4. Ben Bonsall

    Big Red Emergency Activated Safety Tether-cutting System

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      just to tidy that up a bit.

      Big Red Emergency Activated Safety Tether Severer

      or

      Big Red Emergency Activated Severing Tether System

      Just don't lean on Breasts by mistake.

  5. Ged Perryman

    Might require a paint job...

    "Lohans AESA dictated yellow geographically aware remotely detonatable emergency nullification" system

    1. Ged Perryman
      Thumb Up

      Re: Might require a paint job...

      I've read all the other responses and I think that LOHAN finding a way out of a sticky situation by employing her LADYGARDEN is a feasible solution - even if I did say it myself :-)

  6. NormansLament
    Go

    How about

    PAPS?

    Surely you mean Balloon Accident Prevention System?

    1. M Gale

      Re: How about

      Well that'll certainly do too.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A touch of nepotism

    High Altitude Itinerant Navigator Emergency Stop

  8. lawndart

    Automated Range Safety Equipment

    1. Captain DaFt

      I love this!

      In the unfortunate event something went wrong, the El Reg headline would read:

      LOHAN goes AWOL, SPB forced to fire her ARSE.

  9. JonP

    Might require rehab...

    Controlling

    Observer

    Counter

    Accident

    Initiation,

    Necessary

    Electronics

  10. Cliff

    NIPS

    Near earth Iridium Power Supervisor

  11. Cliff

    MILEY

    Forget the backronym, it's her time, the new guard of the ex-Disney teen meltdown in progress.

  12. lawndart

    Or:

    Base Unit Supposed To Initiate Emergency Release

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Blast Off Or Backout System?

    Cutdown/UNTether System?

  14. Phil E Succour
    Paris Hilton

    SCARY SPICE

    Satellite Controlled Airborne Rockblok Yielding Safety Procedure In Case of Emergency

  15. TheDysk
    Happy

    Oooh Errr. NIPPLE

    Network Integrated Plane Permanent Launch Equipment

    or NIPPLE for short.

  16. Rob E

    Looking good, hats off to Dave!

    Lets think:

    Safety High Altitude Vertical Ejection Device

    Avoid Disaster Emergency Letgo Equipment

    General Abort Giveup Apparatus

    Safety High Elevation Emergency Nogo

    Balloon Eliminating Emergency Rupture System

    Cutdown Ejection Required Vertical Emergency Zap Apparatus

    ...ok better get back to work now

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Examples of usage

    MERgency DEtonator

    "Hit the MERDE button, Dave!"

    "I don't think I can do that Dave. MERDE"

  18. rjobber

    Since its a big red button...

    Cut

    Loose

    Iridium

    Terminator

    1. breakfast Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Since its a big red button...

      Or along very similar lines: Gadzooks! - Space Plane Operation Termination

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    España Required Electrical Cutdown Transmission - Needed In Possible Playmonaut Losing Emergency Situation

  20. Splodger

    Jettison

    Umbilical payload

    Balloon

    System

  21. Candy

    Problems with REHAB? Simple: Remote Emergency Launch Activating Panic Sensitive Equipment.

  22. Parax

    Balloon Landing Override With Iridium Execution

    Just cant find a suitable J to finish the job.

  23. Sam Stevens

    REHAB

    Remotely End High Altitude Balloon

  24. TRT Silver badge

    MAMS

    Mission Abort Message Sender

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BAPS

    Break Away Panic System.

  26. Stevie

    Bah!

    To what does the opaque term "cut down" refer? I assume it is an emergency balloon deflation of some sort but Google is no help at all, just showing me leggy women in ragged denim shorts in response to my demands for explanation.

    1. daveake

      Re: Bah!

      It cuts the payloads down from the balloon. I usually wrap the nylon cord around a resistor and heat that up with a few watts. I suspect this time though pyros will be used.

      The cut is above the parachute for what I hope are obvious reasons :-)

  27. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    Safe ballooning

    Cutdown Of Navigator Drifting Outside Mission Specifications

    Never leave Earth without them.

  28. Harvey Trowell
    Paris Hilton

    I love this game

    How about:

    Ballocket Releasing Accidental Horizontal Overflight Obviating Killswitch

    or indeed

    Ballocket Abort Remote - so when things go tits up, you hit the BAR.

    Speaking of which, maybe Tiny Integrated Tethered Stratodangle Unbinding Package?

  29. Mike Moyle

    Power-Abort. Release Everything. Not Today.

    ...Because if there's a bigger downer than a LOHAN PARENT, I don't know what it is!

  30. easyk

    FECK, BOLLOCKS

    only to be used in case of an adverse situation right?

    Floatation

    Elimination

    Control

    Krank

    or something using BOLLOCKS

  31. Z80

    Cut-down Hardware and Rockblock Iridium Satellite Transceiver Insisted by National Authorities Allowing Ground User Initiated LOHAN Experiment Remote Abortion

  32. Mike Moyle

    "Termination-Initiate" Transmission System Uplink Panel

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    surely...

    34 comments in and no one has yet offered the acronym...

    Cut

    Unruly

    Navigation

    Tether

  34. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Not going to try to compete with the suggestions, but noticed that this is now a real D.I.Y. jobbie. There's nothing like a piece of copper stripboard to reveal a dedicated home constructor.

    1. daveake

      Indeed. It was hardly worth having a custom PCB made for a one-off, and it's a lot quicker too.

  35. Vortex

    How about a bit of...

    Orb Release Apparatus Link

  36. Phil E Succour

    RIHANNA

    Rockblok In High Altitude Nimbus Needs Abort

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    TITS-UP

    Terminate

    Immediately

    Thanks!

    Satellite

    -

    Unplanned

    Problem

  38. daveake

    HORROR

    Hand Operated Remote Release Over Rockblock

  39. Romney

    TANTRUM

    Text Aerial Navigation Termination Request Using Mashup

  40. g e

    FUBAR

    Freed Unexpectedly By A Rockblock

  41. #!

    FECK

    Flight Ending Cable Killer

  42. InITForTheMoney

    TERROR

    Turned Evil, Robot Requires Oblitteration Rapidly

  43. vhaines

    Dr Evil

    Detach

    Remote

    Equipment

    Via

    Iridium

    Link

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