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back to article Serious Farce Office: 32K secret BAE probe files spaffed to WRONG bod

The UK's top anti-fraud agency has admitted it sent tens of thousands of sensitive documents from an investigation into arms giant BAE Systems to the wrong person. The probe into multinational defence corporation BAE Systems ended after the aerospace firm paid a whopping $400m fine to the US relating to a violation of US rules …

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Big Brother

Mr. Archibald Buttle

Be afraid Mr. Buttle, very afraid.

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Re: Mr. Archibald Buttle

Don't you mean Tuttle ... <bzzzt> ... Tuttle ... <bzzzt> ... Tuttle ... <splat> <brrt> ... Buttle ... <bzzzt> Tuttle ?

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Big Brother

Re: Mr. Archibald Buttle

"And here's your receipt for my receipt!"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Mr. Archibald Buttle

I hate correcting people, I really do, but this is just such a fantastic scene, it ought to be preserved in all its glory! :)

"Arresting Officer: This is your receipt for your husband... and this is my receipt for your receipt."

From an awesome film containing other gems such as:

"Guard: Don't fight it son. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating."

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Anonymous Coward

The probe ended after...

I thought the BAe corruption probe ended after Saint Tony, Peace Envoy to the Middle East, and ambassador for JP Morgan, told the SFO to clear orf?

Or was that a different BAe corruption probe?

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Ahem

Get in touch and tell us in confidence

Nobody will find out......well apart from NSA and GCHQ obviously

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Re: Ahem

You (El Reg) really need to link to the page which was put up not too long ago with your GPG key on it when you want whistleblowers to get in touch.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Ahem

"the page which was put up not too long ago with your GPG key on it "

Actually didn't the key quickly migrate to the article itself, so that accesses to the page with the key on it could not be separately logged?

Not that I'm a whistleblower, you understand.

Or am I?

Who knows? The NSA apparently do :(

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Go

Re: Ahem

> ... accesses to the page with the key on it could not be separately logged

I vote for a swift redirect or open_in_new_window for that gpg key page for every El Reg visitor. The Spartacus Effect...

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"People will be wondering how many other skeletons there are in the SFO cupboard that the attorney general is aware of but is declining to make public. The government needs to get a grip, get to the bottom of this mess and come clean about exactly what went wrong and how."

They don't need to wonder, they just need to have been reading Private Eye's coverage of the Serious Farce Office over the last decade - it was just as bad under Labour, Ms. Thornberry. The only way these sorts of things will change is when all of the individuals concerned are publicly named and then fired, and made to pay any ICO fines out of their own pockets.

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Stop

It will never change. Complicated document systems always have the potential for error, human or otherwise. Sensitive documents have the most complicated systems of all.

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Fortunately

BAE is such a wholesome company I'm sure there is absolutely nothing incriminating in any of the documents about possible fraud or bribery.

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Anonymous Coward

Confidentially...

I have 'em. Bidding starts at 1000 troy ounces of gold... no tottering currencies, please.

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Re: Confidentially...

Is that gold behind enemy lines??

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Re: Confidentially...

I prefer gold-pressed Latnium. it's much more stable than gold.

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Flame

Knee-jerk

Emily Thornberry, Labour's shadow attorney general, said: "This is government incompetence of the first magnitude."

Gosh, that's a surprise.

Don't these politicians (of all parties) understand that it's this kind of stereotyped response that makes them some of the most reviled and distrusted people on the planet?

This is a clerical error of some kind, serious, perhaps, but not "government incompetence of the first magnitude", which needs to be something bigger, such as starting a war over WMDs that don't exist, or selling off the gold reserves when the market is at the bottom.

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Re: Knee-jerk

I often wonder if they want to say something different but have to toe the line (the Mighty Mowlem was often in trouble for speaking too frankly, that and having a soul). You are correct the canned statements are pathetic. The thing is you know, no matter what, nobody beyond a junior clerk will ever feel any heat over these screwups.

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Recipient

Please return evidence to:

49-51 Portland Pl

London, Greater London

Many thanks!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Recipient

and if no-one's in there, try Flat 3B, 3 Hans Crescent, Knightsbridge, London SW1X 0LS

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MJI
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Who actually cares about the bribes?

All the defence companies do it. They have to in that regaion.

Bribe them or no sale.

Lots of jobs and money - so I actually do not care about the bribery.

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Meh

Re: Who actually cares about the bribes?

Bribery is a part of doing business in many parts of the world. Anti-bribery laws have absolutely no effect on that. It is supremely arrogant for people to even believe they do.

What those laws do effect is how the bribing gets done. Instead of a business paying a cash bribe to get a job, government officials push preferential financing or relaxed export controls and they get the kickbacks. All the laws do is remove the middle man so officials can big up their credit and rewards. It's the same game, but its OK because government is doing it.

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Recovering missing information

The SFO insisted none of the data related to national security and said it was making every effort to recover the missing information.

"Please Sir, email us back that stuff we sent you."

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We can all rely on the ICO to come down on these data-leaking idiots like a ton of bricks.

Or perhaps not. Massive data leaks are OK if you are the Government but for some reason more serious if you are anyone else.

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Joke

DEAR ESTEEMED SIRS OR LADY,

I AM THE SON OF THE LATE HONORABLE MR LUMBAGO ESQ, HEAD OF INTERSEPS AT THE NIGERIAN EMBASSY HERE IN YOUR SPLENDID LONDON TOWN.

SHORTLY BEFOR MY FATHERS MYSTERIOUS DEATH, HE RECEIVED APPROX 32,000 (THIRTY-TWO THOUSAND) ITEMS OF SENSITIVE EVIDENCE.

I NEED YOUR HELP TO DISPOSE OF THIS STUFF. PLEASE REPLY IN CONFIDENCE TO RASU@THEREGISTER.CO.UK

YOUR OBEEDIANT SERVAN,

RASU

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Lost? Accident? Or deliberate attempt to make sure some of the evidence never sees the light of day? We'll never know, probably.

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